Running on

Maui Trip

2011-08-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Brandon and I stopped in at Lahaina CrossFit while vacationing this past July for a sweaty workout. Coach Anthony was awesome and we loved visiting our CrossFit family......

Summer Fun

2011-07-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I blogged and put new pictures up, so here's what I've been up to:

I've been training a lot and have shifted my concentration to longer distance and trail running. It's definitely a LOT harder than road running/racing and very technical - but I really enjoy that aspect of running the trails. This season I have many races on my schedule that I am looking forward to. My body feels strong and no major injuries - except for the right hip that acts up every once in a while. Nothing that stretching (Im horrible at it) can't fix.

Niscene Marks Half Marathon
San Lorenzo River 50k (32 miles total with my 1 mile extra)
Dirty Legs 21k
Santa Cruz Mountains 50k
Dirt Inspires Half Marathon

I ran my VERY FIRST ULTRA MARATHON and I loved it!! It was 5,200 feet elevation climbs and I crossed a river that was above waist high 4 times during the race. The hills were brutal and I just kept moving. Having never run that distance before I had no idea how to pace it, or what to bring. I just brought a hand held water and a bottle of coconut water and protein power mix. Turns out that wasn't enough! I was flying the first 13 miles and did a course record pr at 2:10 (remember HILLS) and felt great. Then around mile 22 my quads cramped up horribly and I couldn't even take a STEP! I have never felt that before and didn't know what to do. I was in the middle of the forest alone and couldn't move. I was screwed! But after a few minutes a fellow runner came along and helped me out. He gave me salt tablets, and squeezed my quads until they released from cramping. I swear he saved me. I was thankful to get moving again and passed him on the course :) at the second turn around spot I ate salty foods and stocked up on salt tablets befoe continuing for my last big loop. I was shooting for 7 hours and if I didn't cramp up and loose time who knows how close I would have come to making that time. I finished in 7:32 something. I know what you're thinking ....7 and a half hours of RUNNING!!!! It wasn't that bad.......it was beautiful in there and I was accomplishing a goal. Oh yea - I did that race with only training at the most a 13 miler. Thanks BMack!!! Now in September I am doing the same course and I want that 7 hour time! Maybe even faster!!!! Wish me luck :)

Vegas 2011 with my girls!!!

2011-03-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

Had an amazing time last weekend with my girlfriends in Vegas. Its the first time I've ever gone there as a girls trip and we had a BLAST!!! That's all I can say... :)

The Iron Mind.....

2011-01-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Henry Rollins wrote for Details a piece entitled, Iron. The following is a portion:

I have never met a truly strong person who didn’t have self-respect. I think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on someone’s shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr. Pepperman.
Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the heart.
Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes down these days, it’s some kind of miracle if you’re not insane. People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole.
I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron Mind.
Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.
The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back.

I absolutely love that article. I completely agree with Henry - I am walking the brink of insanity every second of every day - we all struggle to make our way in this world. Some have it easier than others, but still we struggle either emotionally or physically. For me, fitness is the glue that binds me together. When I'm having a bad day or feeling the weight of my situation on my shoulders, I know that if I go for a hard or fast run that when I return - exhausted- the only thought I will have is accomplishment. Not stress, not worry, not fear or rejection or loneliness . .....just bliss because I moved my body and felt my heart beat, my lungs expand and all these movements meant that I am still alive. CrossFit is another way I keep myself from jumping off a cliff, seriously. Nothing feels better than to walk into the gym, feeling grumpy or whatever negative emotion I may have, load up the barbell and take it out on the platforms. Exhaustion does something good for my soul - it it like I performed an exorcism . I tend to beat myself up until all I CAN feel is tired these days. I know everybody reading this can relate......you are mostly CrossFitters and endurance athletes. We love the pain that comes along with moving.

Soooo - get out there today and remove whatever doubt or stress you are carrying around in your soul. I just finished a tempo run and I feel like I can focus again - like myself and move through my day with renewed excitement. WooHoo!

Go Kart Racer!!!

2011-01-05T18:29:00.001-08:00

Last Sunday I took my kids, my dad and my Uncle Don to GoKart Racer in Burlingame to do some laps on the indoor track. It was SO MUCH fun!! Brandon did the driving school, since he is only 13 and did multiple races against the other teenagers in his class. While that was happening, Sarah, Dad, Don and I were on the adjacent track racing just each other. I tried as hard as I could to catch up to Don, and I ended up breathing on his neck the last lap - and came in second place - beating Dad! One of the pictures shows us on the podium - Don 1st, me 2nd, dad 3rd....Sarah, well....she's a new driver and was very careful so came in 4th - but next time she'll open it up! We're going to rent both tracks out the end of the month for a family throw down. My cousins, aunts, uncles......maybe even Grandma (hahah) will all get to race.

Super fun thing to do together!!!

Wine Tasting In Windsor on New Years

2011-01-05T18:10:00.001-08:00

My friend Teresa invited me to her time share in Windsor for New Years this year. I've never been there, and its been a LONG time since I have hung out with Teresa so I was very excited to go. We got into town on Thursday and headed straight to some wineries for tasting. I bought some wine at Hawleys, a small family operated vineyard and just tasted at all the others. The little towns of Healdsburg and Windsor are so quaint and friendly - we really had a great time there. New Years Eve we were the first people at the tasting rooms - starting our morning off with wine, cheese and crackers. I was NOT eating paleo or Zone or even eating much protein! I just wanted to have a fun filled weekend - the last of 2010 - and worry about getting back on track after the indulgent weekend. I think the only meal I had that was even remotely close to eating well was sushi at THE best place called Sushi O'......other than that meal it was bread, brownies, chocolate covered pretzels, whatever I wanted. And you know what? I only gained a couple pounds (never freak out for me) and I lost it all, and then some already......but the enjoyment I felt at ordering whatever sounded good - and tasting chocolate every day was way worth the pounds! The first thing I did when I got home on New Years Day, after dropping my luggage, was hop on my treadmill "Lilly" and run 7 miles. I forgot to mention my weekend of indulgence also included ZERO exercise! YES! Leaving 2010 with a bang!!! I hope all of you enjoyed your holidays and did exactly as I did -- threw the diet and strict exercise schedule in the trash, and ate to your hearts content.

Having said that it was okay to be lazy and eat like crazy - it is now January 2011 (Yes! 2011!!!) and with the new year comes renewed excitement and promises of eating healthy and training harder. We all do it. New year, new me......It was a little hard for me to detox from the holiday drinking nd eating and being lazy - but man does it feel great to get back to a schedule!

What are some of your resolutions for this year?

I have a busy year planned, and my only promise to myself is to try and seize the moment. Life happens really fast. If you don't stop and enjoy it - you will miss it. I want to take time to stop and enjoy more of what is happening around me more often. My lovely daughter is now 16 and driving. My handsome son is 13 and growing more every day. I want to soak up every second and breathe it all in. I am turning 42 this month and it sounds so freaking old to me. I am not where I pictured myself to be at this stage in my life - so maybe I can re draw that vision?

Cheers to a great year to you all!! xoxox

Christmas 2010

2011-01-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

San Francisco Weekend.....

2010-12-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

Skydiving Family Fun!!!

2010-12-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

Took the kids to Union City to I Fly and indoor skydiving spot. I wanted to take them all to the real deal, but they are still too young, so this was the next best thing. It was special because Chris, my best friend, and his kids went with us as well. We all had a blast! There is nothing like feeling weightless!! Watching the looks on the kids' faces just made my day. Brandon is wearing green, Sarah is in the blue and I am in the yellow........

Jersey Shore Big Bash Party!!! 2010

2010-10-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

AWWW MAN, that was the best party I have ever thrown at my house. Better yet, it was a theme party and everybody was in character and Orion the DJ made the party! Thank you to everybody for showing up..there was over 50 people present dancing, drinking and fist pumping at Orions beats. The next party will be a Black Friday event.....Orion will bring the music, lets see what theme we can come up with. Yes, I made 3 costume changes that night....

I have the BEST clients ever and the most fun! xoxo Love you all

Pain Weekend!!!

2010-08-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

I put my little body through some intense pain this weekend. First of all, I was on a team that competed in the Affiliate Challenge and I did wods #1 and Wod #2. WOD #1 was run 400 meters and max reps maneaters @25# while your partner runs a 400, switching off for ten minutes getting as many runs in as possible. We got 11 in as a team of 4. Man, I had to run hard since everybody sorta expected me to :) Good thing I LOVE RUNNING!!!

I had a couple hours at the most to rest then it was wod #2 time.... 21 deadlifts @ 155# into max reps hspu as a team of 4 each individual had to complete 21 deadlifts before moving to the hspu.....it wasn't so bad. I only felt the last 5 were a little rough. (no bouncing allowed and open and close the hands at the bottom of each lift) you had 7 minutes to complete that and get points for the hspu...then right into 21 front squats @95 pounds into max rope climbs in the same scoring fashion. It was hard ! I was thinking the whole time about the trail race 13 miler I was going to be running on Sunday.....front squats are not the best exercise to do BEFORE running!!!

At the end of a long day I felt fantastic! I got to see a lot of CrossFit friends that i don't see in my everyday liofe anymore and I again was just filled with happiness at what a wonderful community we have within CrossFit. It truly is amazing. Everybody was so encouraging and cheered for eachother, even rival teams....it was fantastic!

I went home exhausted, popped some recovery vitamins and prepared for my early morning wake up and hit the bed, fast asleep. When the alarm went off at 6am I had a slpit second thought..."hmm.....maybe I can just not go. Nobody would call me a pussy after yesterday if I don't want to run 13 miles today." But....I would call MYSELF ONE!! I crawled out of bed.....literally, because my hamstrings and midback were so tight.....and went to the rollers. I rolled and drank a pot of coffee just trying to convince myself that I am alright to run.

When I got to Nisene Marks and registered and saw all the amazing women who came out to run 13 miles I felt much better that I decided to just do it!!The race started up a paved road hill and wound along fire roads then up up up into single track . Somewhere around mile 3 I felt a burning on my left side scalp, around the top of my head. As I ran I tried to feel what was happening, but the burning and pain got so intense I stopped running, and wildly started pulling my braids and hairties out of my hair. I could feel something biting me and I could hear a buzz so of course I was yelling "its in my hair!!, help me!!" women just kept running. Finally 3 angels stopped and started digging through my hair to release the 2 yellow jackets that were burrowed into my hair biting my scalp alll the while I was like moaning because it burned so freaking bad! They seriously saved me, no way could I get those things out on my own because I was panicking. Turns out lots of women were getting bit by a swarm and some ladies had on the upwards of 15 bites! Anyway, after that drama I started running again a litle faster to try and make up some much needed time. I think I was paused on the trail freaking out for almost 7 minutes, which is a long time. I passed a ton of ladies on the fire roads and when we hit the single track thats where I just opened it up and really came alive! I actually LAUGHED outloud the whole time I was on the single track. I had so much fun....my body felt light and effortless, but more importantly, my soul, .my heart felt light. I absolutely felt my heart come alive and start to just feel peace. It was amazing, and here I was 7 miles in and just flying. Brian MacKenzie was right when he said that fatigue in an endurance run/race isn't a lung issue , its a strength and conditioning issue. I am stronger now than I was before and it showed in how I just settled into a pace, not even feeling the ground or my legs or my lungs after the 6th mile......it was amazing. Everytime I run trails I always end up laughing outloud and wondering why the HELL I dont do it more!!??

Anyway, Im waiting for the results to be posted. I think I did pretty well.....even for stopping and dealing with bites. :) Ill post what happens...

Take care....and get out there and get DIRTY!!! ON the trails, that is......you will be inspired, like I was. I promise!!!

Delicious Paleo Pancakes!!!

2010-08-08T17:03:00.001-07:00

I got this recipe from CrossFit Santa Cruz's foodie, Kristie A's blog "Feasting on Fitnes". She has an amazing blog and posts very useful information. I suggest you add it to the blogs you follow if you are a CrossFitter living a Paleo life :) As I stated in earlier posts I adore pancakes. This month I cannot eat them for a cheat meal - as I am trying to NOT have cheat meals, so to the computer I went to find a better recipe for Paleo friendly cakes. I found this gals blog and the pictures she posted made the little cakes look SO delicious---that I couldn't wait for Sunday morning to give them a try. I managed to let myself sleep in, which is difficult for me since I rise before 4 am every day....but I didn't wake up until 9am. I am lucky enough to have a fabulous farmers market directly across the street from my house on Sunday's , so after a strong cup o Joe, I meandered across the street to purchase my weekly fruits, veggies, farm fresh eggs and fresh caught fish. The kids were still asleep when I got back from my shopping so I started to whip up some breakfast to hopefully stir their lazy butts to wake up! :) Let me just say....these pancakes are DE licious! She writes in her blog that they do not need syrup - I was a little hesitant to believe her, but man when she's right, she's right! They were so yummy and moist that I didn't need any sugary flavorings to add to the already honey sweet batter. Great job Kristie! I will be preparing these tasty treats on the weekends for sure! Top with sliced fruit and slivered almonds or top with almond butter and roll up.....just eat them! You will NOT miss the conventional gluten laden cakes at all. I promise!

Pancakes from Heaven
slightly adapted from Flapjacks
Cooking Time: 15 minutes

2 eggs, room temperature (warm using a warm water bath or leave out prior to cooking)
1/8-1/4 C honey
1 T vanilla extract
1/2 C water
1 and 1/2 C almond flour/meal
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
coconut oil (for cooking)

Using a blender, combine the wet ingredients: eggs, vanilla, honey, and water. Blend until smooth. Then, add the dry ingredients: almond flour, salt, and baking soda. Blend until smooth.

Heat a non-stick skillet over medium heat (I had to crank mine up to med-high to get it going, then back down to med-low or lower by the time I reached the last batches--but that could be my stove). Add coconut oil and swirl to melt and distribute. Pour pancake batter onto the skillet to get your desired size of pancakes (I found that smaller is better and was able to fit 4-5 sand-dollar sized pancakes in my large skillet). Wait until you see bubbles bursting from the center of the pancake before turning (I had some trial and error with this--the bottoms cooked fast and the tops stayed liquid, making for a messy flip). The upright side should be golden brown (not burned) and crusty/crunchy. Yum! Wait until the underside is browned before removing and continuing the process with the remaining batter.

I got a slew from this recipe, around 12 depending upon the size. Keep the removed pancakes warm using a warming burner or oven set to warm. It helps to put a moistened paper towel on top to keep them from drying out.

Once done, you don't need any syrup. Let me say that again since it came as a surprise to me too: You don't need any syrup! They are delicious as is and a great accompaniment to eggs (in background of next picture)!

Start Of A New Challenge...

2010-08-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

I decided to start a new challenge for myself for the month of August. If I am accomplishing what I hope, I will continue for 3 months...who knows, maybe more! I eat a pretty clean diet already - mostly Paleo, with some gluten free oatmeal at breakfast. But I have a sweet tooth like you would NOT believe! I look forward to my Saturdays so I can have pancakes (my absolute favorite food....ever), or carrot cake from the Buttery, or chocolate anything, cookies, cakes, or any pastry....you get the picture. Well, then I go out Saturday evening and end up having some drinks and eating like crap again and Sunday I have the worst sugar hangover ever! Which starts Mondays off to a shaky start and all my training doesn't get back to normal until Wednesday - then after feeling good for 3 days the cycle starts over again. I just want to feel good ----ALL THE TIME!! I don't NEED sugar. But I WANT IT! I can't have everything I want in this life anyways, so why not remove the crap thats bad for me ? That goes for way more than just food - by the way :) Relationships that are toxic, friendships that are bringing me down, old grudges, whatever else...its time to clean house and work on feeling my best.

Here's what my August has started off like::::

Mon 8/2/10 weight 106
6am- 4 oz. chicken, 1/3 cup cooked gluten free oats, 1/2 cup blueberries.

8am- XFIT Benchpress 6x2 @110. Backsquats 5x3 @ 160
5 squat clean thrusters, 10 chest 2 bar pullups x5 @95#. 10:12
10am 4 oz chicken, 2.5 oz sweet potatoe, asparagus. vitamins and fish oil.

12:00 RUN EASY PACE. 5 MILES 32:00

2:00 4 oz. grilled salmon, large salad

4pm 4 oz. chicken, 1 cup strawberries

7pm 4 oz filet minon steak, mashed sweet potatoes, gilled asparagus. sliced fruit for desert with slivered almonds.

Tues. 8/3/10

6am 4 oz chicken, 1/3 cup oats.

8am XFIT ENDURANCE SIGHT 21-15-9 front squats @ 75, ring dips, box jumps. 10:02

10am 4oz chicken, sweet potatoe

12:00 large salad with grilled steak

1:30 TRACK WORKOUT 4x200 (34 sec pace), 2x400 (1:18 pace), 3x200 (35 sec pace) 2x400 (1:21 pace) total 6 miles

3:30 4 oz chicken, large green salad, nuts.

7:00 4 oz chicken with pesto, mixed veggies cooked in coconut oil

I hit a PR last week on the track for my 400 and my 800 meter. New 400 meter time is 1:15....new 800 meter time is 2:55:32. My 1 mile time )3x 1 mile repeats) is 6:10 for the last repeat.

I feel good. I am getting to bed super early, I know sort of a boring life - but it works for me. I start my day before 4am, so the more rest I get the better for me. And training 2 times a day means I need more recovery time. I haven't had a craving for sugar at ALL - but it has only been 3 days, so that will probably change. I have a few races coming up and I KNOW the added focus and attention to my overall being will make for a better race. This morning (Wed) I weighed in at 104. I DO NOT want to loose weight - so I will be tacking on some calories today for sure!

CrossFit = Friends Around The Globe

2010-07-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

Get Together With Friends From The Past

2010-07-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to get together with friends from high school....talk about strange. Some of these people I haven't seen since I was a crazy strung out teenager. Others I have kept in touch with. It was great to see everybody, but also made me feel a little weird. I was a completely different person back when they knew me as Shari Anderson. I had long blonde hair and I was strung out. A total party girl. My life revolved around meth and whatever other drug I could get my hands on. That life of my past doesn't feel like it ever really existed, because its so far removed from who I am today. Being around those people brought on memories of running drugs, and spending my days with zero motivation or direction and being in a constant haze. How incredibly sad. You know, I watched this tv show called Drugs, Inc. the other day and they were talking about a statistic that only 6% of people addicted to Meth get fully recovered without relapsing. I let that soak in for a little while then I just smiled. I am one of that very small percentage ...the 6%....who left that life behind and never went back to that addiction. Makes me feel pretty damn good about myself. I got to talk to my friends about what I do for a living, about CrossFit and eating healthy and I'm hoping some of it stuck. Maybe they'll find their way out of that life (yes, some are still exactly as they were as teenagers and have never escaped the hold the drugs had on them) and desire to get healthy and will recall this CrossFit thing Shari Told me about. I don't have time to write more, its past my bedtime and I need some good sleep tonight. Ill finish my rant tomorrow...

As Requested........

2010-07-03T05:32:00.000-07:00

These are for you Jesse......thanks for reading my little blog!

Been training hard and running a ton. Today is a recovery run because tomorrow I am racing a trail 10k. My quads are super sore from this weeks double days, so hopefully they get loose! Time to spend some quality time on my Trigger Point rollers!

Sunday Workout...

2010-06-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

Chris came over early Sunday morning to run with me. He always gets me to do the workouts that I probably wouldn't do on my own, or I'd for sure procrastinate about. Here's what he decided we'd do:

3x 1 mile repeats.....

There's a legit mile marked in front of my house along the Wharf to Wharf race course....so we used that as our marker.
1 mile jog warm up
mile 1 : 6:28
1 mile walk/jog back to start
mile 2: 6:15
1 mile walk/jog back to start
mile 3 : 6:10
1 mile walk/jog back to start
total 7 miles speed work.

Mind you - there are a few hills on this course, and lots of turns and inclines. So Chris said on the track Id be about a 5:57, which is where I was trying to get back to! These are also PRs for me---last mile repeats I did on the track were 6:27, 6:23, 6:22.!!

Getting faster and I felt great. I was a little worried before we began because my right hip has been acting up and as long as I dont get lazy and keep my POSE perfect I float so it's alright.

Side Note...

2010-06-18T15:36:00.001-07:00

To the people who decide to read my little diary and take the time to write mean messages..... I don't care what you say about me. I am a person trying to find my way, I am sensitive and sometimes over emotional. Yes, I have had a lot to cry about in my life....but at least I take time to reflect and try to become a better person. Instead of wasting my time commenting on somebodys blog who you obviously don't like. Heres an idea....do something for yourself, or somebody in your life with that extra time on your hands. You do not bring me down :)

Reflection and Gratitude

2010-06-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

I have been a pretty busy woman lately so I have had some errands on the back burner that have been nagging at me to get to them. One of the things I needed to do was to clear out my storage unit.....I couldn't even remember the things I have in that thing its been so many years since I've even stepped inside. So, the other day I had a couple hours off and took a drive to the damn place to get busy. The first item I picked up just changed my mood completely and hit me off guard....a small wooden chest that I use to hold all the items that Geoffrey gave me and all the photos of him and us. Geoffrey Anderson was the first love of my life whom I met when I was just 15 and who impacts my life in huge magnitudes today and well into my future. Anyway, I opened the chest excited to see what was inside but those feelings quickly turned to sadness, hopelessness, lonelyness and regret when I saw the photos and read the letters. How can an even that happened over 18 years ago still feel like it just took place? Obviously I have some issues that Ive swept under the rug and haven't completely dealt with. So here I was photos in hand sitting in the hallway of a storage place sobbing. What a pathetic sight, I know....but sometimes you just need a good cry.

Geoffrey was killed in 1992 in an airplane crash that took place in Perris Valley, CA. He was a skydiving videographer, there were 22 people on board and all but 5 were killed. I spoke to him on the phone just before he took off on that last flight, it was the 8th run on that plane that day. I remember hearing the news break on the tv as I did chores in my apartment about the skydiving airplane crash....my cousin called me and said she thinks that was where Geoffrey was. I watched the news and knew instantly my life was just changed. I tried calling him, tried calling the skydiving school where he worked, his mom, his roomate...all with no answer. Finally after what seemed like forever I got the call from his mother and father. I can still hear her voice telling me that Geoffrey was on that plane. It went something like this..
." Shari...are you sitting down?'
"no mamma...it wasn't Geoffreys plane , right?'
"Shari, Geoff was on that plane."
"He's okay though.....he's always okay, he had a parachute on.."
She interrupted me with, "Geoffrey is dead."
I felt a rumble a hollowness, black energy that seemed to originate from the middle of the earth that rose up and connected with my feet and then took over my body with such pain.....pain that started from the beginning of time all seared in MY body, these were MY feet, MY heart, MY screams, MY tears, MY confusion......

The next thing I remember is my friend picking me up from the floor as I became hollow...emptied out with that phone call. All I knew is I wanted it to stop....I didn't even know what to stop or how to get away from what was consuming me. I took every drug in my possession in the hopes that it would kill the emptiness.... it didn't and instead of dying I lived. I was left here to sort through everything. Why did this have to happen to such an amazing human? Why did God take him from me? Too many questions and I had no FUCKING ANSWERS!! I became a complete drug addict from that phone call until I was 24 years old. Stuffing my pain down to my feet and never letting it rise above my kneecaps, for fear that I would be consumed like I was that moment on the phone.....

All of these memories all came back to me like they had just happened as I looked through photos and cards in my storage unit. Why, after so many years of a life changing event, does it still hurt as if it just happened??

I have had many things occur in my life since I was that young girl. I got clean, got married, had two amazing children, and lived my life. But not a day goes by that I don't still think about Geoffrey, Mamma Barbara and their family. I look around my house and everything I have is because of them. I guess maybe I impacted their lives as well. My favorite quote...

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. " Helen Keller.

Well, maybe I have gained some character through my experiences. We never know why things happen..or why bad things happen to good people I'm still trying to figure out my life and my purpose here. I have made a lot of mistakes and I have heaps of regret that I am working though. I know I have guardian angles and Geoffrey watches out for me and my kids.

I hope that someday I will have love again.

My Babies Are Growing Up...

2010-06-01T19:49:00.001-07:00

My son Brandon turned 13 a couple weeks ago, and my daughter just turned 16. Where did all the time go? It so amazing to look at these young adults and watch their lives unfold and all the possibilities that lie in front of them. I am blessed that they allow me to share in their lives and my house has become the open hosting house to all of her friends, as well as her boyfriend. Brandons friends are always hanging around as well and it fills the house with activity. Sarah is driving now and an absolutely beautiful woman. Her friends are equally beautiful and amazing.....I feel blessed for every day that is given to me....they mean everything to me. Brandon and Sarah have always been my reason why I am here. My anchors. Brandon has stepped into the role of the man of the house and he takes care of me - watches out to make sure that I am okay - its very sweet :) I could go on and on about the wonderful things I learn every day living with these two incredibly people - but I'll just say it in one word. ..... Blessed. That's how I feel.......

Willow Glen 5k

2010-05-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my best friend Chris and I ran the Willow Glen 5k race. It was my first actual 5k RACE - I have always loved racing the longer distances so I completely ignored the 5k. Now I see it in a whole other light - they are TOUGH! I started out fast and did my best to just hang on!! I came in 5th place overall, which I was extremely happy of.....by mile 2 I was at 12 minutes and 19 seconds. I felt strong and fast, even thought the girl in front of me was an 8th grade girl from the local track team :) The fact that I am 41 now and I stayed with her the entire race made me feel really good!!

I have been focusing on my running a ton the past few months, and all the hard work I out in on the track shows when I out it to the test. Tuesdays are my short track days, Thursdays are my long track days and Sundays are either a time trial or a long run day. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are reserved for CrossFit only. This schedule has been working great and sometimes I do double days as well. Yesterday I did my long track day since this past week was hectic! Here's what I did:

3x 1000 meters
200 recovery
2x 800 meters
200 recovery
1x 400 meter
DONE :)

This was a brutal one!! Jesus...I have it to Chris and when he told me to kiss the track before walking on it because I was going to be suffering I thought...it can't be THAT bad.....but it was. and even worse!!

Give it a try and tell me what you think!!

Reflections.....

2010-04-09T14:25:00.000-07:00

I live a pretty great life. I have survived a lot of negative situations and people and not only made it through but got better because I went through the tough stuff. I am transparent with who I am. I admit my mistakes and my issues and all my flaws (and there are plenty) and I strive to not make the same mistakes twice. I genuinely care about those in my life and would throw myself in front of a bus to save anybody I care about. I wear my heart on my sleeve and feel others peoples pain as if it were mine. I love my children unconditionally and am blessed with their presence in my life. I have friends that enrich my life. I have a huge family that loves me.The list is vast and wide of all the blessings that make my life so.....soo....incredible.

Fulfilling a Dream....

2010-03-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

My incredible day coaching my dream clients.....can't give any information just yet - but it will come. What a incredible day!!!

CrossFit Endurance Cert

2010-03-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to be an assistant coach at Diablo CrossFit for the Endurance Cert a few weeks back. I LOVE these guys!! It has been a while since I last saw Craig and all the wonderful trainers from that box, but as soon as I walked in everybody greeted me with open arms and warm attitudes. They all made tremendous improvement in their running technique and form and I loved coaching them in the drills. It was my first time doing a cert with Mark and the first time meeting Tim who is an intern for Xfit E but a helluva intelligent man when it comes to the body and running - hes a level 3 POSE coach. Enough said about Tim. I was most excited when Brendan Mahoney, CrossFit Endurance San Francisco and the world record holder for Helen, came by to help out with Sundays drills and lectures. I admire this man and am inspired by his speed .....just a crazy talented athlete and I probed his brain at lunch time about programming and race training. It was just great getting to hang out with him and learn from him. I look forward to hanging out at certs and coaching with him soon.

It was a great weekend and I drove home thinking how blessed I am to be surrounded by the best of the best and learn from them as well as pass on what I have learned to others. The best part was when Mark was explaining what we as runners strive for as far as form goes and said he would record me running as an example of near perfect form for attendees to see fpr comparison. I was extremely flattered that Mark said that about me. He recorded me running and everybody else reviewed it and although I have a lot to continue to learn, I have come a long way.

Thanks Diablo CrossFit for hosting us and I look forward to coming back to train with you sometime...maybe even go for a run!!!

Trip to Sweden-----AMAZING!

2010-02-22T05:29:00.001-08:00

I had THE BEST time in Sweden visiting my guy Eric and all my wonderful friends. First of all, I have to thank my best friend Chris for getting me the ticket for Christmas- I never would have thought I would travel to another country, and he made that possible for me. I feel like I'm a big girl because with my fear of flying I traveled all the way to another country - all by myself and navigated through Munich, Germany airport where NOBODY spoke English and then to Stockholm. I truly feel like the world has opened up for me and I am more confident in myself. Thank you Chris - I love you forever! Seeing Eric again was so perfect and I don't think I have laughed so much and been so happy since the last time he was here visiting. My vacation was busy and I had zero time for jetlag - all my friends kept me very busy and I got to do many things. Jenny and Mads took me to train at their gyms where they work, and it was the best to see them again in their town. They have been trying to get me to Sweden for a couple years now and it was incredible to be there with them ! Training with Jenny was inspiring and I wish we lived closer so i could see here every day- I also got to hang out with Chris and Micke and I met all of Eric's friends, his parents and his son William. I instantly fell in love with all the important people i his life and I got to know more about him through meeting his friends. The people he surrounds himself with are top quality family people and they are super sweet and caring and genuine...what's NOT to love?? William and Eric took me cross country skiing and it was my first time on skis.. I think I did okay and I only fell once :) William and I had a race and he won of course - he's so great at sports and very competitive so we did a lot of racing type stuff; skiing, board games, video games, and just playing with his toys. Even though he doesn't speak english yet, we communicated just great and he was patient with me until I caught on. The best day was skiing with the family and William and I had a snow fight that Eric jumped into and I LOST! I had snow everywhere---we went upstairs dried off, Eric made up snacks of Lox, crackers and hot coffee and hot chocolate and we played for hours. It was truly the best day. Only think that would have made it absolutely complete was if my kids were there as well. BUT I will be bringing them to Sweden in the summer and we will all go to Eric's summer home on the lake and just have a blast together and the kids can get to know eachother.....In case you can't tell - I am happy.

Heres a few pictures from the trip. I will post more in a few....

2010 Is Starting Out Right!

2010-02-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

I hope all of you have written out some goals to keep you motivated for the new year. As always I assess my life and where I'm at and take a look at where I want to go in the new year. The first on my list, of course, was to get some PR's and work on strength and gain some speed going into the race season. Chris and I decided we'd tackle a storm a week and hit the track as well. It started out tough and seeing where my base is on the track was a little disappointing I must say - but we all have a starting point right? Heres what I did in January - not a bad start to the new year!!

Dianne old time: 16:56 new time: 10:55!!
Grace old time: 8:23 new time: 5:31!!!
Fran old time: 6:05 new time 5:10!!!
Elizabeth old time: 11:22 new time 8:57!!!

10k old time: 46:?? new time: 37:42
5k old time 18:33 ***still chasing that!!!

Clean old PR 117 New PR 130!!
Pullups old 40 New 43 ** could got 50 for sure!! I just stopped after a new number was got.

There are more but Ihave to head to CrossFit.....I know these numbers are not ll that fantastic to the Elite or the stronger women out there......but keep in mind I weigh 105 pounds!! Some of those rxd weights are tougher for me than a woman weighing 135!! I'm excited and can't wait to see what else I can do!!

After the Storm....

2010-01-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

Santa Cruz has been getting pelted with a pretty bad storm for the past week. I happen to LOVE stormy weather - even more than sunny weather so I was enjoying the lightning and thunder and gloomy days. They say "relax" to me....and for anybody who knows me, that's something I hardly get a chance to do! One of the best treats after a storm where the ocean swallows up the roads and the beach disappears , is all the driftwood that covers all the shores after the water resides. Yesterday was a sunny day so my son and I went beach hopping. We hung out on Blacks Beach and had a blast with our imaginations. We were there so long we got to watch the sunset. Watching Brandon run around and enjoy the calm on the beach made me smile from the inside. I happily gathered all the wood in the right sizes for him so he could build what was in his head....we made a teeter totter, a sledge hammer (which he dead lifted and flipped like a tire flip quite a distance on his own and it was HEAVY--yea functional movement CROSSFIT!) and the beginning of a boat or a shelter.

I need to mention that my Saturday started off the BEST way possible....I got to workout with my favorite guys...my best friend Chris and my son Brandon. We attacked Fran at 8am and we all PR'd!! Knowing Brandon was next to me just hammering the thrusters and getting his chin over the bar on his pullups made me push even harder. I want my son to look at me in pride and say "that's MY mom!" I want to set the example for him. I want him to view me as a capable, independent, strong woman who smashes the word "can't". I think I am succeeding :)

So as you can see my Saturday was off the charts awesome for me. Intense workout with my boys, playing on the beach all afternoon with my son, and watching the sunset over the water. Incredible.

Today I continue kicking off my half marathon training. It used to be so easy for me hen I was younger and competed all the time and ran distance every day. Now that I am older I have to train my body again to be on my feet that long. We know CrossFit isn't an endurance sport so I am way stronger, but my endurance is lacking. Time to get it back!! I'm running a 10k time trial and I can't wait. I'm just a little sore from Fran, but i'm sure running will work all the kinks out of my muscles.

Enjoy your day and breathe life in. Can't wait to play on the beach again today---hopefully my Sarah will come too then life will be even that much more perfect :)

Half Marathon Training Starts Tomorrow.....

2010-01-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

So far 2010 has been full of PRs for me. I took 5 minutes off my old Dianne time, and 40 seconds of my Grace time. I also PRd in my 5 rep backsquat. I'm excited to continue getting faster and stronger. I've decided to register for the Santa Cruz Half Marathon in April, again, and to hit a pr there as well. I haven't really been running with any purpose, I've just been running because I love to! After getting my ass kicked on the track last weekend with Chris, I realized I need to hit the track way more often and get serious about my running. No more run just to run. I hit the track last Thursday at 8am and did a 200+400+600+800 x3 rounds. Warmed up for 1 mile, did stride straights, and build ups....then hit the workout. I managed to negative split my times, and walked off the track feeling accomplished and better about my training.

I feel really good about putting as much time and effort into my running as I do my CrossFit workouts. I'm excited to kick off training for some spring races.

Beautiful Santa Cruz sunrise....

2010-01-10T19:34:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I decided to set my alarm Sunday morning so that I could watch the sunrise on the beach. I grabbed some coffee and went for a walk on the beach and snapped this shot as the sun crested over the ocean. What a beautiful morning and exactly the reason why I live where I live. I absolutely LOVE Santa Cruz !. As I walked and sipped hot coffee I meditated on the new year and my hopes and goals for 2010. Thinking back over 2009, even though it whipped past me so fast that it seemed like a blink, I couldn't help but smile. I feel content in my life. My best friend often tells me "you are in a REALLY great space now.", and i have to agree with him. I have surrounded myself with amazing people and friends and I'm just happy. I have come a long way and have grown up a ton....

I hope all of you have articulated your needs, wants and desires for this new year and that every dream you hold comes your way. If you meditate on these things they WILL manifest in your life. If you focus on negative and what you don't have, you will continue to want. Everyday I am thankful for where I am, the lessons I learned through my struggles, and I feel open to whatever comes my way. Hopefully 2010 holds some beautiful surprises for me and my family. I hope the same for you and yours!

Merry Christmas 2009!!

2009-12-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

This Christmas was a special one by far. Pretty much my whole family came together to celebrate at my aunt Debi's house. Cousins flew in from out of state, and ones I haven't seen in a while were even present. I think we had nearly 40 family members in one place at the same time. Super rare for our large family, but my grandmother is getting up there in age, and well - we want to cherish the time together while we still have it. The best part of the evening was when we all gathered in the front yard around the Christmas tree and took a family picture....we haven't done that since I was a kid! I can't wait to get my copy. When we get older we value our families even more than we did when we were young. Don't you think? Anyway- these are just a few pictures I took while visiting. All the cousins are growing up so fast! My litle cousin, Stacy (the other red head in green shirt) just got engaged on Christmas Eve so we were all celebrating that as well.....

My family is large, quirky and loud. But they are special and very loving. I brought my computer so everybody could meet Erik on Skype. It was so cute - one by one people came to sit in the chair and talk with Erik....his head was definitely spinning and there's no way he'll remember everybody's name - but they all got to meet him and that was awesome.

2009 Client Appreciation Holiday Party

2009-12-21T16:54:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday evening I threw a party for my awesome clients. I rented out Aldos restaurant on the harbor and had the chef prepare delicious Paleo cuisine - salmon, roasted chicken, steamed veggies and tons of various salads. My goal was to spoil each and every client of mine. I was hoping all of them would be able to come, but as hard as I tried, I was still missing 13 clients :( --
I had a lengthy speech I was going to say, but looking over everybody enjoying the food and the conversation - remembering where each of them were when they first came to me - replaying various moments in each of their lives that I became a part of them I was deeply moved. I literally held back some tears for quite a while before I just let em go! I told my best friend and my sweetie that if for some reason God took me home after the party I would be a peace because I just spent a few hours with the super important people in my life. I feel accomplished - like I am leaving a legacy behind. Like I made a difference in every persons life that was in that room. I am not saying that because Im trying to toot my own horn - believe me - but I just felt like I had a purpose. In that moment, in that room, I had a purpose......everybody was laughing, healthy, happy.....and I had a little to do with that.

Maybe my life hasn't been a waste afterall? I look forward to taking my amazing athletes on many adventures of me spoiling them in the future....paintball fights, bbqs on the beach, camping.....whatever. These people add meaning to my life and I could never repay them enough for that.....

I love all of you!

What made it even more special is that Erik was here:)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

I have much to be thankful for this year. First thing is Im free from the shitty situation that I was in this time last year. Thank God for that.....My life is everything I could ask for - RIGHT NOW. My relationships with my children are solid and we are very close. I hve an amazing network of friends that make me laugh and keep me grounded. I am thankful for my best friend Chris who adds so much to my life its hard to explain. My ex husband and I are getting along and have moved beyond everything. My professional career is opening up and many doors have been sprung open for me....much of which just went down this month and I am very excited to see where I am headed. Life is amazing......and I get to see Eric in 10 days!!!

Just a quick update--hope everybody is well and you had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Now its time to get back to training hard and eating well.

Check this out...

2009-11-05T18:58:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4hxxoru7CM&feature=player_embedded

Gold Standard

2009-11-01T17:25:00.000-08:00

This is me and Erik at Hank's. I am happiest here in this picture than I have been in a long while. I adore this man :) And miss him like crazy!!

The reason I do what I do for a living.....

2009-10-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

I received this email from my food client Michele. She has changed so drastically that I wanted her story so I could share it with others. Here it is in her words.......

My name is Michele and I am 36 years old.Â For as long as I can remember, I have had an eating disorder.Â When I was in high school, I developed anorexia.Â I had been mildly overweight and found that once I began starving myself by eating things like carrots and celery all day and occasionally a bowl of tomato soup, I dropped most of my weight.Â I liked being thinner and enjoyed all the comments made by others who noticed the weight I had dropped.Â I became consumed with controlling what I ate as a means for being thin.Â I discounted all the negative side effects like being constantly cold, having dry and brittle hair and nails, lacking energy and feeling fatigue.Â None of that mattered because I was thin.Â As I got older and had children, I continued off and on with this mentality of eating.Â If I ever overindulged, I would make up by starving myself.Â I yo-yo'd in terms of weight, sometimes as much as 20 pounds up or down, for many years.Â Finally, when I reached my late 20's, I realized I could not sustain never eating for long periods of time anymore.Â But instead of adopting a healthy eating pattern, I began to be a binge eater because eating made me feel guilty.Â I would make it, oh maybe, 3 weeks in a row with eating one meal a day, then I would feel starving and eat everything in sight for like 5 days in a row.Â In a day, I probably consumed as much as 5,000 calories on these binge days.Â Once I started to eat, I could not stop myself.Â I had the mentality that, well, I was eating, so I might as well just go all out.Â Never once did I consider that eating was normal or necessary.Â It was bad and I wasn't meant to do it.Â This may sound strange, because we need food to live, but I had developed a pattern over 20 years of my life that said I needed to feel hungry to feel thin and I needed to eat one meal a day consisting of 500-800 calories.Â Of course, a body cannot sustain itself over long periods of time eating this way, nor should a person even try.Â But, this is where I ended up: starving myself for as many days as I could handle it, then binge eating because my body actually WAS starving to death.Â I developed hypothyroidism as a result with all the symptoms:Â extremely low body temperature, severe fatigue, sluggish metabolism, hair loss, etc.Â Though you may think I was really thin, I actually wasn't.Â Because of the binge eating and because my body was in starvation mode, I actually stored everything I ate as fat.Â So, I had gained about 20 pounds of fat as a result of starving myself.Â How ironic!

During these awful years, I would become so full of despair over my eating habits (generally after I had gone through my binge eating spree), and I would journal my feelings.Â I would tell myself to stop doing this; that I needed to start eating healthy again, get control of my habits and change things.Â So, I would try to create a menu that seemed healthy and follow it for a time.Â However, I would slowly start to feel guilty for eating and because I was not feeling hungry all the time, I thought I was going to get fat.Â So, I would fall into the same habits again and be right back where I started.

About 5 weeks ago, I sat down on my bed and just started to cry.Â I was so tired of this!Â I didn't want to be consumed with food anymore.Â I just wanted to be normal and eat food, like everyone else.Â I wanted to have lunch with my sisters and mom when we went out instead of ordering a cup of coffee and taking an appetite suppressant.Â I wanted to break this horrific cycle, but I didn't know what to do.Â A friend of mine had been talking about the paleo/zone diet and when I was sitting on my bed, I decided to google it.Â I have many food allergies: can't have any grains, dairy, sugar, alcohol and I don't eat meat so this sounded like a great diet, but I didn't want to do it by myself.Â I googled "paleo/zone diets delivered, santa cruz, california" and Shari Keener's name came up for meal services.Â It turned out that she wasn't doing that meal delivery service anymore, but I found her phone number and decided to just give her a call.Â She answered the phone and I started to ask her questions only to find myself bursting into tears right there on the phone - in the first phone conversation I ever had with her!Â I was embarrassed, but felt like I couldn't stop myself.Â I needed help and somehow, for some reason, God put her in my life at that moment to help me.Â She was so kind and concerned about me and she didn't even know me.Â She asked to meet with me and she told me how I need to change my thinking about food.Â She wrote out a sample day of eating in the paleo/zone because of my food sensitivities.Â It was a 10 block day and it seemed impossible.Â I was terrified to eat, but on the other hand, there was something calming about having an exact science to what I was going to eat.Â I had to weigh my protein and measure my carbs and portion out my fat and she told me what time to eat and all the rules.Â So, I decided to trust her.Â I started on October 7 and took all my measurements at her request.Â I had been weighed at the doctor prior to meeting with her and so I had some numbers to refer back to later on.Â Today is October 29.Â I have not cheated on the diet once.Â Since that first day, I have lost 3.5 inches in my waist, 2 inches in my thighs, 3.5 inches in my chest and back and 2 inches in my butt and hips.Â I have also dropped 8 pounds.Â But, I am not starving myself!Â I am eating all day long.Â I must admit that I have had to call Shari numerous times during these last few weeks when all of a sudden I feel panicked because I don't feel hungry, so therefore, I must be gaining weight.Â But, she always reminds me that food is fuel.Â We need to eat!Â It's necessary to sustain life.Â It's not about being thin.Â We eat for health, not for weight.Â I had never thought this way before.Â It is very dysfunctional, the way I operated with food.Â And, it has only been about a month, so I know I have a long way to go.Â But, I know this for sure...I feel so much better!Â I am never hungry, I am never tired after a meal, I have energy all day long!, my hair is shiny and has stopped falling out, I do not retain water anymore, my stomach is always flat, my skin is absolutely clear and luminous and I GET TO EAT FOOD!Â This is freeing for me.Â And I have Shari to thank for all of this.Â She genuinely cares - for real!Â She always texts me and emails me and calls me to see how I am and offers helpful tips and offers encouragement and words of wisdom anytime I need it.Â I do not know how to thank her enough.Â She is a life saver and I want people to know, who struggle in the same ways that I do, that there is help and a better way to look at things.Â Shari rocks!Â I love her!

The Start of a PERFECT Weekend!!

2009-10-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I flew down to San Diego to take part in a invitation only weekend seminar led by Dr. Romonov - creator of the POSE Method. BMack and Carl sent me there because they say Im a great runner and want to see what Romonov has to say about my technique - amongst other reasons. So I took a late Friday evening flight headed to my hotel and crashed hard - after ordering a delicious steak, bacon and side salad dinner. Marc, a trainer for Xfit E picked me up around 8:15 and drove us t the San Diego University campus weight room - never met the man before Saturday, but it was although we've hung out before. Super cool man and I can't wait to coach a XFit E Cert with him in the future. Anyway - I have been very excited to meet Dr. Romonov and felt honored that I was chosen to attend. I already knew everything he was covering regarding the POSE method and have taught it to many clients and caches already - what I was waiting for was the video analysis! There were about 30 people attending and he sent us out to do a short maybe 200 meter run while we were videod. Then he showed us some drills, again already knew them, and we brke for lunch. Somewhere in that time frame Coach Glassman showed up and its always a great surprise to see him - he is such a great man and super loving. We chatted and all went t eat a great Paleo lunch of chicken salad - of course - and headed back to the university. I was getting excited to be critiqued! So what we look for is how many frames does it take for you to get into the "4 or POSE " position mid run, versus how many frames are yu on the ground? Everybody's numbers were 10-5 or in the higher numbers maybe a 4 was the lowest I heard. Then he got to me. First off let me say that I have been running since forever and learned the POSE Method from BMac and Carl almost 2 years ago . I coach with CrossFit Endurance, train high level athletes and serious runners....I lead 6 week courses on running technique. I pretty much run 4 times a week in POSE. I am not new at this by any means. Dr. Romonov watched my video and afterwards said, and I quote, " You are a very good runner. There is vertually nothing for me to fix here. Who did you learn from?" I just about jumped out of my skin!!! I answered, Brain MacKenzie and Carl Borg. He said " They are great teachers....you are a better student." I was a 1 frame and a .7 frame......SO HAPPY!!! Coach Glassman overheard this and pulled me aside to talk. Lets just say it was one of the best days Ive had athletically in a while.....here were my two mentors that have impacted my life both athletically and professionally and they were telling me how good I am. My head could barely wrap around it!! I had to bail out of there Saturday late afternoon because my weekend was just about to go off the charts! I was flying to Vegas to hook up with Eva and our gorgeous Swedish men for the weekend to have some fun!! Erik got me at the airport Saturday night and I ran to him when I saw him. I swear he is a complete angel. We had THE most amazing weekend I think Ive ever had romantically with a man since forever-----Eva and I flew out Monday for Santa Cruz - Erik and Chris drove back to SC to meet us late Monday evening and they stayed with us until Friday at 2am when they had to return to Sweden. Life just isn't fair sometimes is it?? I have been single for quite sometime and everybody that I was interested in turned out to either not have the same feelings towards me or some other reason. I just reached a spot of contentment and I was not looking for anything.....I was just happy being alone. But all that changed pretty damn quick. Now I dont know what the future holds - nobody does- but I do know that I am embracing whatever it is and I know I am a better woman now than I was a few weeks ago because I opened up and let a special person into my heart.

And there is always Skype!!! ;) Mads and Jenny have been trying to get me to Sweden for a long time - I think they figured out a way to ensure I get there.....Mads sent me a present in the form of my dream man. Sneaky guy!!! Seriously...I had a list. This list had every thing I want in a relationship and a man on it......Erik has every quality on that piece of paper. Man am I lucky :)

You are What You Eat???

2009-09-26T06:14:00.000-07:00

I just want to talk a little about diet. As CrossFitters we are all consumed with how we can become faster, stronger, fitter athletes. Not only are we training hard in the gym, and striving for those PR's - but what we do outside of the gym becomes even more important for us. I'm talking about what food we put in our mouths. Instead of reaching for whatever tastes good, we become obsessed with journaling every morsel consumed and carry our trusty food scales with us everywhere- "just in case". Preparing for the fitness competition opened my eyes to the fact that I am completely obsessed with my diet. Some would say that this is a good thing, others would label it a eating disorder. I suppose its a mixture of the both in some ways. I started journaling what I eat on a daily basis around 4 years ago when I found CrossFit- I still have every journal and will not get rid of them. I literally can look back to October of 05 and see what I ate on that day and the times I ate and how I felt after eating it. I know - silly and strange and a little crazy. I started asking myself why do I do this?Is it healthy? Surly after eating Zone and Paleo for over 4 years I have it down by now and have eliminated the need to journal it. I figured out that it goes way deeper than just wanting to know if Im getting the right nutrition. It's because I LOVE structure! If I don't write down what I eat I seriously feel a little off. I get a sense of satisfaction when I look at my journal at the end of the day and see a perfectly balanced, healthy day all laid out before me. If I slip up I write that down too- then when I review I see that black spot and I do not like the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel defeated in some way and I HATE that feeling. Don't you? I have made a ton of strength breakthroughs since I tweeked my diet a couple months ago so of course I will continue to journal my meals and the PR's keep coming.

I want to challenge you to start writing down your food, if you don't already, and see what happens to your fitness in the gym. Write down how you feel at the end of the day as well - promise you will start feeling better. I'm giving a Zone/Paleo lecture today to around 20+ athletes and I am excited to get them excited about their nutrition. I see a lot of weight being shed, as well as alot of strength being gained in the next few weeks.

So----what is YOUR excuse? I know---the kids, work, the house....blah blah blah. We are a high revved society and we are busier than we have ever been and over scheduled to say the least. I believe that the phrase "Im too busy" has become more of a badge of honor than a reality. By saying "Im so busy" it shows we have things to do and an excuse why we haven't done the things we SAY we're going to do - like eat well or exercise. Am I hitting a chord yet?? It takes 15 minutes to measure and pack your meals for the next day. Thats less time than it takes to drive to fast food market, or wait in line at a grocery store deli. DO THE WORK and watch what goals you can reach. You will NEVER know where you COULD be, if you don't start moving in that direction. Better yet - think about where you CAN be (physically) two weeks from now - if you only took the steps to start today??? Throw out the shit food from your pantry - your kids don't need the HoHo's either and fill it with good Zone Paleo foods that will nourish your body and fuel your workouts. Make a change. Life happens real fast, and if we don't take charge of ours, it will fall apart. We will age quicker, gain those extra pounds and become lazy people who sit on the sidelines of life and watch OTHER people live it. Jump in - take charge - life the life YOU create.......with gusto and with passion.

I believe in you :)

Fun day

2009-09-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

A picture from a totally fun day with Mark.....

Everybody Needs A Best Friend

2009-09-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

Mine is Chris. There has been so many ways that this man has changed my life its hard to break it all down. I met Chris around a year ago - he found me on the CrossFit site as he was looking for a coach. He called me, we set up a time to meet and discuss training. When I first saw Chris my thought was "wow...this guy looks like a serious runner." He was 27 pounds lighter than he is today, and his disposition was a little nervous and unsure of himself. We chatted for an hour and I convinced him that he would be in good hands with me - I knew he would need some hand holding as he stated he didn't even have a pullup. In fact, I remember some of his goals were to be able to take his shirt off on the beach and not feel embarrassed, to backsquat without feeling weak, and to do pullups. These were great goals! I was going through my own personal hell as Brendan had just left me and I was trying to sort everything out. Looking back now - a higher power definitely led Chris to me....because my life got better after he came into it.

Over the next few months I took control of his endurance diet and switched him over to Zone - he would only eat maybe once a day before meeting me - he quickly saw the results in strength and his speed on the track got faster. After a month of being friends he told me who he actually was. Chris was a very accomplished athlete indeed - winning the Ironman Brasil, competing all over the world as a famous runner. Wow - my respect for the man rose to new heights! He was so humble and even though he trained with the best coaches all over the country - here he was listening to me. Trusting me. He got his pullups around the second month and he was hooked! We would met every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and I would program mostly strength workouts with him. The man had speed already - a 5:23 minute mile - but as he got stronger and gained weight he also broke records in his speed - he now has a 4:57 minute mile.....and can hold 5:13's for mile repeats!!! Chris has come a long way and we have built a wonderful friendship. We spend time together outside of the gym, and every conversation we have teaches me something new about myself and life. He shows me that there is good in me, and although I have made some pretty huge mistakes in my past - I have learned from them and have grown as a person. Every once in a while if your lucky there comes a long a person into your life who changes you for the better. Chris is that person for me. In a lot of ways our lives are parallel. He has gone through some tough situations in his life as well as I, but I see the other side through his eyes.....and it has opened my heart.

Anyway, enough about how wonderful Chris is. I was prompted to write this note by a text message sent to me from Mary Cranover, a client at CrossFit SCCentral. In it she stated how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man as a friend in my life.....and I thought "Yea! I am lucky!"

Love you Chris!! Cant wait to build pain ball grenades with you tomorrow and have more meaningful conversations :)

Grand Canyon Run/Hike

2009-09-12T07:20:00.001-07:00

Just a couple weeks ago my client turned best friend, Chris, sent me a text asking if I would be into hiking the Grand Canyon with him. I answered an excited "yes!" and he quickly made all the arrangements - probably before I realized what I had said yes to! Our plan was to start at the South Rim and hike the width of the canyon to the North Rim- stay the night there, then hike back. Apparently this is not done too often and I have never been there, so when he said 42 miles total it didn't seem THAT bad to me. Okay, 6 miles down to the bottom of the canyon, around 12 miles across, then 6 miles out. I've run 32 miles in a race before, how hard can WALKING 24 be anyway? Well, it was a good thing I went into it like that because it was pretty difficult!

We left on a Friday, flew into Vegas (kept blinders on so we didn't just stay there and play all weekend), got into the rental car and drove 4 hours to the Grand Canyon. We stopped briefly at Hoover Dam. It was incredible! I have never been there and to see how huge it was made me feel pretty small......we slept from midnight to 4am and we got ready as fast as we could. When we stepped out the hotel doors we saw that it was RAINING!! But, being the freaks we are we just laughed and put on our rain coats. :) We drove to the South Rim and found the shuttle bus that would drive us to the South Rim trail head. This is where we would start and spend 10 hours on. The descent down wasn't bad at all - lots of steps, but it was early and fairly cold so we motored along fast. This was about 6 miles until we hit the bottom---it took about 4 hours. We crossed many bridges, crazy switchbacks, a tunnel and eventually the Colorado River at the very bottom. This is where Phantom Ranch was and we filled our water, got some coffee and other provisions and then after a quick stop continued on our way. By now the sun was beating down and it was about 100 or so degrees. We walked and walked without any problems and we talked about EVERYTHING! We laughed often and when we would take a break from staring at the ground in front of us to look up, we would be in awe of what we were seeing. It is the most beautiful place and it truly feels magical. What we were setting out to accomplish was huge. Especially this being my first ever hike.....we crossed little stream and it came in the right time to soak our bandanas around our necks, splash water on our shirts, and wet our sun hats. It was getting hotter. The meals we ate along the way were everything BUT Zone or Paleo!! hahah protein bar after protein bar ended up making us feel a little shitty and we decided to get better provisions at the North Rim to go back with. Okay, the hairball section out of the canyon - I can try to tell you how scary it was but unless you were actually ON the trail you have no idea what it ws really like. When we started climbing out of the canyon we were going up to 6000 feet elevation (maybe 8000 on that rim I forget) the trail was about 3-4 feet wide and the cliffs were 2000 foot drpps. ZERO to hold onto. So imagine this----17 pound packs on your backs, been walking for 5 or more hours in 100 + degree heat, now your cimbing up up up and in front of you in a sheer rock formation that you are supposed to hike up. There is no trail that you can see and you have no idea where you are going because of that. I sat on the trail and had a little minor melt down at that point. Chris was awesome and just told me that we were brave and lets keep going.....I hugged the left side of the cliff as best as I could and didn't look to the right - just at Chris's heels in front of me. As I was freaking out I told Chris to remind me when I get back to Santa Cruz Central to punch Rob Miller in the stomach because I believe he is a freak of nature! (Rob is a big rock mountain climber and is quite comfortable sleeping in a tent suspended off a cliff).So I thought maybe the hard part was over after we made it past that point....but NO! Now we were going to ascend as if we were on a stair master for 4 hours.....at elevation......!! I had to laugh because I couldn't believe how people do it without CrossFit! We finally got out just before sunset and tired, beat, blistered feet and all but we were estatic!

We had to walk a bit to the North Rim Lodge but when we got there a warm restaurant and delicious food was waiting as was a cabin, warm shower, and comfortable beds. We feasted on steak, wine, and vegetables, then went to the store to load up on food for the hike back. This time we got roast beef sammies, turkey sammies, nuts, pizza, yogurt and fruit and some other little thing.

We went to sleep with full tummies knowing we had to walk back in the morning. Just thinking about it now makes me so excited becuase I have never been on an adventure like this before - EVER! I adore Chris and we were the perfect travel companions - not one fight, we worked as a team, and everything went to smooth.

5am and we are getting ready as fast as we can so we make the shuttle that will drive us to the trail head. We make it and sip our coffee on the bus talking with other passengers about what they are doing. When they asked us what we were doing and we answered with "completing our rim to rim to rim" none of them left it at that. It was "wait--your camping at the bottom right?" or "Not all in one day" _ weknew we were badass, but that just made it even that more sweet. Other than the blisters we werent too sore - thanks Xfit!!

We enjoyed the sunrise over the canyon while eating pizza....and readied ourselves for the hairball section. It was much easier this way today than I remembered the evening before. Maybe because I was fresh and not at the end of a long day? Either way, we got the job done and were feeling great! When we reached the bottom of the canyon Chris asked if I wanted to run....I said "YES!!!"" Crazy, I know.....we strapped our packs, that weighed 17-20 pounds full, tight and started running. together we did about 4 miles in a section called "the box" and it was 115 degrees this day. It felt so amazing to run!! I mean c'mon---we RAN the Grand Canyon!! Fucking amazing!! Chris would turn to look at me, shoot me a look and a nod, and I would instinctively know what he meant and I would start to run. I will forever remember that feeling, the sights, and how proud I was of Chris and myself. We learned a lot about the sort of people we are - We are "Strong too" and we are survivors---we make it through whatever comes our way and we push forward. Amazing :)

The climb out of the canyon on the South side was completely BRUTAL to say the least! Just look at the pictures and you will see. I stopped counting the stairs after i reached 2000.....some of the steps were as tall as my knees :)

More pictures from the competition...

2009-08-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

Karen, my coach through the whole ordeal, gave me a disk with these pics. I totally forgot that I took some pictures with my father. He was crying he was so proud of me. Which I find to be slightly hilarious because I have accomplished many things in my life and overcome some hard situations, but I've never heard him say he's proud of me like he did after I pranced around on stage in a bikini. Maybe it was because he's getting older and more emotional. Or maybe it was him realizing everything in my life that tried to keep me down, and as he saw me up there it all hit him. Maybe him saying "I'm proud of you." was a collective statement from everything that I have done. Hmm....I believe that was it. All I know is his words meant the world to me. Thanks dad!

Always Training....

2009-08-23T06:25:00.001-07:00

This summer has been awesome because my son, Brandon, who is 12 decided on his own that he wanted to train CrossFit at least 2 days a week. On his own he gets a ride from his dad o the gym on tu and th while I have a gap of time between clients and he trains HARD! I am very impressed with his commitment and how he listens to my coaching. He even took one of my 5pm classes and trained along side other clients and push pressed 53# for 3 reps. What a stud!! He moves like an angel and does everything I show him correctly - hmmm.....I wonder who he gets THAT from?? Recently I took a video of him doing a WOD that involved tire flipping, dumb bell thrusters at 15#, and ball slams. He's got a set of lungs and more importantly he has drive!! If somethings hard instead of quitting or asking for a lighter eight - he pushes through!! That's MY boy!! Heres a pic of us wearing the t shirts from our friend Marcus out of Hawaii at Life as Rx'd----and me pre contest doing 400 meter walking lunges for time around my neighborhood. Yes, all the neighbors thought I was crazy - but maybe I motivated some to move with more intensity instead of just walking the dog in circles. Get out there and MOVE today - no excuses!!!

2009 Muscle Beach Classic *First Place Womens Figure Short Class & Overall Figure

2009-08-16T09:49:00.001-07:00

Me messing around backstage with daughter #2 Lulu......I think we were dancing to Boom Boom POW!

2009 Muscle Beach Classic *First Place Womens Figure Short Class & Overall Figure

2009-08-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

2009 Muscle Beach Classic *First Place Womens Figure Short Class & Overall Figure

2009-08-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Max Muscle 2009 Muscle Beach Classic

2009-08-16T08:45:00.001-07:00

The day started off with Karen coming over and painting my naked body coat #2- Friday night Gary and Karen stayed up until 11pm with paintbrushes and sponges just slathering on the fake tan. I was cracking up because it should have been erotic---a hot guy and a hot girl touching every inch of my body....but it wasn't at all.... :) anyway, that stuff is gnarley to say the least! Thick like shoe polish, and hard as hell to get even. But Karen did it and my tan was set. Headed down to Capitola with my daughter, my son, and Sarahs 2 friends Kiana and Lulu for support. They sat up in the front row to cheer me on. It was a gorgeous day in Capitola and little by little people started to file in. My best friend Chris, my cousin Jeff and clients Tiffany, Jen, Marian, Rachael and Katy were there. Also Mark and Brandon made an appearance. My father and his girlfriends were there as well. And of course my coach Karen was there giving me pointers every step of the way. We went backstage where she did the final touches on my tan and I watched the other girls pump up their muscles. I didnt do that. I just watched and thought what the HELL am I doing here - they are so much more muscular than I am....but I was there for the experience so I went with it.
I decided 2 minutes before I went on stage that I would compete in the Figure category and not just the Bikini Category. Literally 2 minutes before I went on, Karen was teaching me the poses. I was nervous as HELL!! Plus the girl that i was going against has won like every time and has competed often! So...when I went out there all I could see is my kids screaming for me and cheerng and all my friends and clients and family just freaking out for me!! I almost cried just because I felt so loved. I looked at Karen for pointers on what to do and followed what she motioned as best as I could....I WON!!!! I can't believe that I won!!!

Then the winner of the Figure Tall Class came out and we posed and the judges picked ME as Overall Figure!!! 2 TROPHIES!!! I just about cried because i couldnt believe it!!!

There were many highlights for me through this experience that i want to share. First I have to thank Karen. She is truly amazing! What she did to my body in just 2 weeks takes experience, expertise and patience! She was an outstanding coach and I think she should do this for a living for sure!! HUGE thanks to Karen!!! Second, after I won my dad came up to me and through tears he said "I am SO proud of you sis"......that right there melted my heart. My father has never said hes proud of me like that before....ever. He literally couldn't stop crying....that made it all worth it. Then watching my kids see me up there - following through on a goal I made for myself, seeing it through to the end....that was a life lesson that I was teaching them and it was worth every shitty day of those 2 weeks. They were proud to say that I was their mom. Sarah even screamed out when I won "That's my MOM!!!" NOthing is better than that!!! Nothing!! The only thing that made it sad was I didn't have anybody there that was my someone special that could be proud of me. All that hard work and it paid off, but in the end I am still alone . That made me sad.

After it was all over the first thing I did when I got in the door at home was to cut a huge slice of the chocolate cake the kids baked for me and poured a tall glass of cold milk and started to feast!! Man it tasted so good!!

The Beginning Shots

2009-08-13T04:39:00.000-07:00

This is what I looked like when I started just 2 weeks ago....do I look any different? I wasnt fat or anything to begin with.....compare and let me know what you see...

The Almost Final Product

2009-08-13T04:33:00.000-07:00

I have 3 days to go when these were taken......Karen says I can have a little fat on Saturday morning and I just about screamed!! I also can have a lean cut of steak today at Meal 3. I dont feel like I look too different, but she assures me that I do. I guess we'll see if any of this starvation way of eating paid off come Saturday afternoon. I am sure that I dont get to eat too much Saturday. Wish me luck - Im almost done

After Week One

2009-08-08T21:41:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures after 6 days on the diet. As soon as I find the first pictures we took Ill post them. I started at 107 pounds, and when these were taken I weighed 102 pounds. My coach said that my waist has come down, my legs have tightened up as did my glutes. I can't tell, but if you put the pics side by side I can see more definition all over my body. Hoping the next pictures we take, probably Tuesday will look even more tight. My suit should arrive Tuesday as well..... this is a trip to me :) But it's an experience!!!

August 6

2009-08-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I started to really feel the depletion occurring in my body. I weighed myself at 4am like every morning and the scale said 101.5 - I told Karen I'd easily weigh less than 100 pounds by the time the 15th rolled around. She assures me I only have a little farther to go before we start putting glucose back into my body along with minimal fat - so just "hang on". She took pictures of me posing in the same bikini this morning around 6am, so I will post them as soon as she sends them to me. She said my legs and waist have come down, which is what we were trying to achieve - thank God - but I don't get any almond butter just yet. Hmmmpphh!! I was a little pissed when she told me that.

My son and I went to Whole Foods yesterday for lunch. I got about a cup and a half of spinach and 4 ounces of chicken drizzled with balsamic vinegar, while Brandon ate a protein bar and drank some root beer hey, hes a kid and it was his treat). I watched him chew every bite and drink every sip. He walked through the store with me and I touched every thing that I wanted to consume. Then it hit me - this must be what anorexics feel every day of their life with the disease. I got it. I understand that head space of wanting something but restricting it completely from yourself. Man, I tell ya it was an eye opener. I have to be careful to keep a grip on my reality and not develop an eating disorder....I can see how it would be extremely easy to do. My son is so rad - he understands that I am doing this with a goal in mind - short term, and that its for a purpose. I do not think I am fat. He let me touch the baked breads and squeeze them in their cellophane wrappers, open the bakery case and take a huge whiff of the warm cookies inside, slowly stroll every isle while in my imagination I ate everything that appealed to me. The mind is a powerful organ because I totally feel full when I do this little exercise. Sometimes I even feel like I have actually eaten everything I imagined, and feel compelled to call Karen to confess. SICK!! After about 15 minutes of this aimless wandering invisible food consumption, my sweet son took me by the hand and said "okay mom - thats enough. Its time to go now." And to the car we walked. Then the crying started. I just want to eat!!! Why the fuck can't I eat what I want to eat? Who the HELL is she to tell me I can't have what I want?! What does this fuckin competition mean anyways!? Its stupid! I probably won't even place - I'm not even a fitness model!! WHAT DOES IT MATTER!!?? My head rested on the steering wheel and I just let it out. I was furious, frustrated, exhausted, angry...I was HUNGRY!! I am not poor. I am not lost in the wilderness with nothing edible around me. I'm not on that damn show "Survivor". I have food all around me. My cupboards are overflowing with food. Delicious food. All I have to do is open the cupboard, pull something out, and stick it in my fucking mouth. That's it! Sigh ---except....... I don't do things half ass and I am NOT a quitter. I finish what I start, no matter how ridiculous it is to anybody else. I want to know that I put 100% in and tried my very best, no matter what it is. Sooo, I wiped my tears with my son patting me on the back. He told me "its okay mom - you're almost there. Stay strong!" That just made me cry even more :) But it gave me the support that I needed to pull myself together. I have never gone through anything so physically tough in my whole life. I went through drug withdrawals and they didn't feel this uncomfortable.

We continued on to the mall and went shopping. Everything I tried on didn't fit. The size 0 's in American Eagle I could pull the jeans off my body while they were zipped and buttoned. Shit! I asked if they had any Double 00's in, but they didn't. I cracked up as I asked because they must think I'm a freakin meth addict or something. Whatever -

Karen said that next Wednesday I get to add some fruit and some fat to my diet. Thank God....I haven't had any fruit since last Wednesday....a week ago.

Meal 1- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces chicken, vit b, multi, vit c, muscle strength

Meal 2- 4 ounces turkey, 2.5 ounces sweet potatoes, vit b, multi, Omegas, vit c

**fat burner on empty stomach, train 30 min after taking it**

Meal 3- 4 ounces chicken, 1 cup spinach uncooked, balsamic vinegar on top

Meal 4- 4 ounces Halibut

Meal 5- 4 ounces chicken breast, 1 cup asparagus

Meal 6- 4 ounces Halibut

Sound yummy?? I cannot use any oil to cook or on the veggies so everything is extremely bland. No sat. No oil. No flavor! The chicken is poached in a little water. The fish has a little of lemon juice on it for moisture. That's it. Yesterday I got to eat 10 almonds and I savored every crunch. My teeth feel like they haven't been used in a long time.

Here's the weird thing - I am getting stronger. I'm sure it's because of the extra protein I am taking in - 24 Zone blocks a day.

I performed 6 dead hang L pullups with zero kip, toes straight in the air with ZERO momentum. I did 7 handstand pushups with top of head to the floor and full extension at the top. We did "Lynne" today and as prescribed I bench pressed my bodyweight (who cares that its only 101#) and did chest to bar deadhang pullups. The highest number bench was 5 reps. My old 3 rep PR was 95#, today I did the whole workout at 102#. My energy level is a little low, but at least I am not loosing strength. Please wish me luck and I'll continue to write about my experience. I feel sorta like an undercover journalist in this whole adventure. I will NEVER do this again, that's for sure!! Thanks for reading :)

Pre Contest Day 4

2009-08-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today started to get difficult with this whole food restriction thing, that I started to do exactly what Karen said would happen - fantasize about Food Porn. I stood in front of the bakery display case in Whole Foods drooling over the cupcakes, cookies, chocolate dipped strawberries, delicious baked goods that looked like little perfectly wrapped presents. I imagined myself holding something tasty in my hands, how it felt as it touched my lips and tongue...the pleasure Id feel as it slid down my throat. People musta felt I was completely nuts! Watching this woman in lala land not saying a word, not ordering.....just staring. LOL! As soon as I felt full (in my mind), I left the bakery - walked over to the fish monger and ordered 1 pound of Halibut for dinner and 3 snacks tomorrow, loaded 2 sweet potatoes, a bunch of spinach, 2 bunches of asparagus , steel cut oats, and tons of water into my cart. I drove home and for a second I felt like I cheated on my diet! HOW SICK IS THAT!!?? Seriously, I have mad respect for these ladies who do this to themselves for months out of the year. They also scare me because of how much it tweeks with your self image. I consider myself to be a self disciplined woman, I have motivation, drive, and focus. When I want something - I get it. I was asked to compete in tis competition so I decided why not go for it 100% ?? Why do it half ass?? So, that being said, I am giving myself over to this diet even though I know its crazy. I figure I'll post about it so you all know what it feels like to be dieting like a fitness competitor before a show. I tell you - its absolutely crazy!

My daughter baked some brownies last night. As soon as I smelled the aroma in the house, I screamed at her. "What the hell are you doing??" I retired to my room around 7pm and there I stayed with a towel covering the opening under the door frame so I couldn't be tempted. I know its extreme - but I didn't give in :)

I understand that I am not fat, or need to loose any weight - trust me. But the goal here is to suck out all the extra in my muscles so that they show more. Its a little more scientific than that, but hey - without any extra fat in my diet I can't think too intelligently. :)

Here's my day in a nutshell:

weight at 4:00am 103#

Meal 1- 1/3 cup oats, 4 ounces chicken breast

Meal 2- 2.5 ounces sweet potato, 4 ounces turkey breast. Multi vitamin, vit c, vit b, omegas

**train CrossFit** 800 meter run, 30 sit ups, 40 double unders, 20 pushups x4 =32:58 (alt row w runs)

Meal 3- 1 cup asparagus, 4 ounces chicken breast

Meal 4- 4 ounces Halibut, more vitamins, Omegas

Fat Burner
** Walk on treadmill at 12% grade, for 50 minutes....covered 3.5 miles**

Meal 5- 3 ounces chicken breast, 1 cup broccoli, 10 almonds

Meal 6- 3 ounces Halibut

Bed at 8:45 pm.......now you see why Im having food porn?? lol.....

Gary turned me on to this book "Dialogue With Death" by Eknath Easwaram....if you get a chance, read it. This line stood out to me today, and I was reminded of several individuals in my life who have PRANA. Some in abundance.

"Fire is a perfect symbol for Prana, the fire of life itself, because where prana is abundant, there IS fire - intense enthusiasm, vitality, drive, resoluteness, the capacity to see something through right to the end without being distracted from the goal. Those who have this kind of fire can achieve anything they choose."

My New Adventure Has Begun...

2009-08-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

I have a new client, Karen, who competes in figure competitions. She is truly amazing and when she's show ready, she looks like an anatomy book! Every muscle is defined, her waist is teeny tiny, her legs are dynamic....she looks incredible! Last week out of the blue I was asked to compete in a figure competition myself....at first I said "No way! " But then Karen coaxed me into doing it, more on the bikini side than the figure side and she said she'd coach me through to the competition. I have 2 weeks to get show ready, so everything I have learned about eating for performance has gone out the window. I am now eating to shrink down fat, pop those muscles out, and basically starve!! :) I do NOT recommend doing this to anybody - its HARD and I swear I dont know how Karen does it over and over again. I will be blogging about my experience for the next 2 weeks, along with pictures so everybody can follow me on this crazy goal of mine. Karen took bikini photos of me on Thursday and sent them to her coach for advice on what I need to do to better my physique. The coach came back with "her waist and legs need to come down. She has abs which is great, needs to train more shoulders." WOW!! Umm, I weigh maybe at the heaviest part of the day 107 and I wear a size 0...smaller?!! REALLY!!?? So, over the next 2 weeks that is my goal - shrink the waist, tighten the legs up (I have the CrossFit thighs and ass - which I love...and don't want to loose) and get my muscles tp pop.

Heres the diet Karen has me on. Please dont e mail me with how bad this is, or how off balance it is. I already know that. Again, this is for a short time, 2 weeks, and its with a goal in mind.

Saturday: weight 107#

Meal1-2 hardboiled eggs, 1 cup strawberries, half cup blueberries
(this meal was before I had what Karen wanted me to eat...)

XFIT & RUN WALK 50 MINUTES

Meal 2- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces salmon

Meal 3- 2.5 ounces sweet potatoe, 4 ounces deli turkey

Meal 4- 4 ounces turkey breast, 1/2 cup spinach

Meal 5- 4 ounces salmon, 1/2 cup spinach

Meal 6- 4 ounces turkey breast, 1/2 cup spinach

SUNDAY weight 105#

Meal 1- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces chicken breast. multi vitamin, vit B, vit c, Omegas

Meal 2- 2.5 ounces sweet potato, 4 ounces chicken breast, vitamins

Meal 3- 1 cup spinach, 4 ounces turkey breast

RUN WALK 50 MINUTES (take fat burner before, run on empty stomach)

Meal 4- 4 ounces white fish

Meal 5- 4 ounces white fish, 1 cup asparagus

Meal 6- 4 ounces white fish , vitamins.

Its HARD to eat zero carbs pretty much, and ZERO FAT!!! Im on day 2 and keeping strong though.....Wish me luck! Ill post the pics...I lost 2 pounds opvernight and Im worried that Im going to weigh 100 pounds by the time 2 weeks is up!! Karen assurs me that wont happen. Especially with the extra protein Im taking in. She know what shes doing , so I choose to trust her. I gag down the fish though - fuckin GROSS-

Wharf to Wharf Race

2009-07-27T04:39:00.001-07:00

Sunday was the Wharf to Wharf 6 miler race that happens to run right in front of my house on Portola, all the way through to Capitola. My job was to sit on the corner and count how many men were in front of my client/friend as he raced. He was shooting for a top 100 finish (if you arent the top 100 your time isnt recorded and you dont get a awesome race sweatshirt). My son, Chris' son Jack and myself sat there, coffee in hand, along with many neighbors and cheering spectators waiting to see Chris. We counted 130 men in front of him, shouted the number to him as he whizzed by then tried to pick other clients out of the crowd. This race and I have many years of bad luck. I have never actually raced it - Ive had my number 3 different years with the intent to, but every year I've either gotten the flu, back thrown out, or last year my bouyfriend at the time was just being difficuly and decided to be a jerk race morning - so I watched from the corner last year as well. This year I was more than happy to cheer, my ankle being sore has kept me from running fast for a week as it heals.

I am so proud of Chris! He finished in 36 minutes and some change and I am always amazed at what an incredible athlete he is. His form is perfection, and he just seems to float!

The otjher pics are of the Kenyans who of course won the race, and check out the fast woman! Wow - she was incredible for me to watch! I get chills and goosebumps watching fast runners....it made it even better because my house is at the 3 mile marker and the half way point.....telling my clients "your half way there!!" over and over again was fun!

Shari and Vic at the Games..

2009-07-12T15:45:00.001-07:00

The Games

2009-07-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

I got to meet my CrossFit Crush today and I was so excited to get pictures taken with him!! Vic Zachary from CrossFit Bayou in Texas. He's an amazing athlete and his girlfriend is one lucky woman!! Of course it was always fun to meet up with Jen from Jen's Gym, and Chris Spealer...but meeting Joe from CrossFit Milford was the coolest! I took a picture a while back doing backsquats in pink booty shorts - he copied the idea and took a pic wearing the same style pink booty shorts and tall black socks. Jason Leydon posted the pic in honor of me and it made my day! Meeting Joe today in person had me cracking up because hes a big man and picturing him in tight short shorts was hilarious! He mentioned thay his affiliate team initially wore skirts to compete on Friday, but with Jasons urging to change they did. Rats! That would have been impressive I'm sure :)

busy Sunday!!

2009-07-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

Today I have a photo shoot, and have to read the script for the movie I'm playing a vampire in.....hopefully get to the Games at some point as well. I love busy days!!!

CrossFit Games Are Here!!!

2009-07-11T07:02:00.001-07:00

CrossFit Santa Cruz Central did an amazing job fighting for the Affiliate Cup. Annie, Tara, Dwane, Skip, Rob and Michelle all gave everything they had and the competition was tough. They came in 11th place and rocked it!!!

My Favorite Spot in the World

2009-07-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

The track! Its a love affair I've had for years that went astray for a few years. I have started to hit the track again 3 times a week or more if my schedule permits and I cannot tell you how it makes me feel. If I am having a rough day, or feeling anything other than relaxed after I put my track shoes on, kneel down and touch the track everything goes away. Most people do not understand that feeling - only my dear client and best friend Chris understands what that feels like......If I miss a lift at the gym, or don't hit a workout hard enough or aren't satisfied with my performance I know that if I go to the track I will crush it and I will feel better. It is in my blood, and it's something I can do that most people cannot or dont want to do.

Tonight:

1 mile (4 laps) warm up jog
stretch
2 laps stride straights, jog turns

2x 200 meters at 5k race pace followed by 200 jog
2x 800 at 10k race pace followed by 400 jog
2x 200 at 5k race pace followed by 200 jog
*1 lap jog after each 800

4 laps cool down jog and stretch
TOTAL 5 1/4 miles

Last night:

1 mile warm up jog
stretch
2 laps stride straights jog turns

1200 meters at 10k race pace
800 meters 10 seconds faster mile pace
400 meters 10 seconds faster
with 400 jog straights/walk turns between each repeat.

REPEAT set from 800 meter

4 laps cool down jog and stretch

TOTAL 5 3/4 miles

Monterey Fun Weekend

2009-06-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Went to Monterey and got drunk wine tasting with Gary. We met these chicks at the Bargetto Winery - her last name was Swallows!! Man we had some laughs together at that one for hours....hahah....then the drinking went to dinner and Um, don't remember much after that - but Im sure it was a blast! I haven't had a free day like that in a while....it was much needed. I have a blast with Gary - we laugh a lot and just have an amazing time together. I've missed having fun times like that. Not since my marriage have I gotten along so well with a man. Super fun!!

Bliss

2009-06-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

Warm ups...

2009-06-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

The attendees at the CrossFit Endurance Run Cert in Toronto Canada a few weekends ago....amazing athletes there and they all did so great! Can't wait to see you all again!!

Mark and Jeff

2009-06-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

My Canadian friends Jeff and Mark doing some lifting at break time during the Run Cert....Amazing box Jeff has there Konker Fitness and Mark is from CrossFit Niagara.....

Can't wait to lift with you guys!!! Then we get pancakes

The Cousins

2009-06-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

Jesse, Aaron, Brandon and Sarah. These are my cousin Lisa's boys with my kiddos. I was at Jesses birth and Lisa was at my kids births...Aaron just turned 18 and graduated high school. He is an amazing surfer whos going pro and just a great man. He turned out to be such a caring, smart, responsible HAPPY man. I am proud of him!! We hung out yesterday to celebrate his accomplishments and get the family together.....great day!!

Sunny Perfect Weekend in SC!!

2009-06-14T16:15:00.001-07:00

It was a perfect weekend in SC....I have been sooo busy with a lot going on in my life...soo many great things I have to catch up! I have been traveling for CrossFit Endurance - went to Toronto Canada to see Mark Gleason and Jeff where I was in charge of giving the nutrition lecture for the first time. It went great and people asked a lot of questions. I was a little nervous, but thanks to Carl and Mark and Jeff by the time I was actually in Canada I wasn't nervous at all! I had a blast with Carl and getting to hang out with him - we are just like brother and sister it's crazy. Canada was gorgeous and the people there were very warm and welcoming. Mark drove us around and took us to breakfast and dinner even though there was a crazy storm that lit up the skies. Crazy weather there - its sunny and hot then around 6pm the storm comes out and shit starts falling off the buildings because of the wind. By the time we got out of the restaurant, it was beautiful again.

I took Tuckers gymnastics cert a few weekends ago and I learned a ton! Thanks to Tucker for being such an amazing coach...Im planning on invading him in Texas for some one on one coaching sometime.

These are pictures from the beautiful day in SC today. JEALOUS???

I Love This Picture!!!

2009-05-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Carl Borg, myself, and BMack in Chicago after a WOD....I love traveling with these guys :)

Quote of the Day...

2009-04-29T21:12:00.001-07:00

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
-Theodore Roosevelt

This one is taken from CrossFit East Decatur.....check out their box...!!!

Just a little neurotic!!

2009-04-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

This is Neile, a Zone client of mine....her scientific approach to exact measurements for the Zone chili recipe I gave her. Amazing stuff.....

Watch this Video...

2009-04-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNYlIcXynwE

Thankfulness...

2009-04-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today started off the wrong way. As soon as the alarm went off at 4am and my feel flung onto the carpet I was off and running - my mind racing - and my heart heavy. I can't even tell you why I was feeling the way I was - maybe it was a mixture of several things weighing on my mind and my heart - either way, I was down. I had to be perky for my 5am clients, because they are my heros. If they can drag ass outta a warm bed to do hard CrossFit workouts, they deserve nothing but the best in a trainer = so I pushed on. Put my mask on, smiled big - encouraged them in their movements, all the while a lump in my throat. Tearm just under the surface....ready to blow. I got my chance to workout at 8am andf the WOD was "nancy." A hard one for me because of the overhead squats....I did it anyway. Around round 3 something in me snapped. My thoughts fixed on everything I suck at in life...how I am NOT where I want to be...how I am NOT the person I want to be!!! Entertwined that with the toughness of the workout and finally my bodys aches and pains caught up with the pain I had in my heart. The tears started to fall. Thank God for my amazing friends...FAMILY...at CrossFit. Skip and Rob saw my face and I guess they knew I was anywhere but here in the present and I was in a battle .....they finished the last run with me - encouraging me. Skip said "this is nothing new...you have felt pain before...push through just like you always do Shari."as we ran side by side. I finished the workout - not fast, but a pr for me. Better was the support I got and the exorcism I had during the workout.

I am thankful for my CrossFit Family. They have come through for me more than my blood family at most times....and they know me. They can see when I need them and they reach out to catch me when I fall and give me their strength when I have none of my own to muster up.

Then a few hours later I got a random e mail from an angel -Ben. His words were like surgical sutures on my heart....words he spoke to me healed me.....amazing.

I even met a stranger who by her appearance I saw people hurry away from her....she walked right up to me as if she were seeing something written over my head and spewed out these words of psychic abilities....I embraced her.

There are signs all around us...and everytime I have been at a low in my heart I can see them more clearly it seems. I think God knows that I feel as though I am being poured out like a drink offering and I am running on empty - much like a hamster in a wheel.....I need to be filled up. I don't get that much....I have to give it to myself. These people touched my life today and made a difference in my heart....right when I needed to be filled up.

Who will you fill up today??

2009-04-22T12:02:00.001-07:00

Fear Is YOur Biggest Motivator. Without Fear --- You Aren't Nothing Anyway."

Brave New Voices

2009-04-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

Trust is a Gift Few People Are Worthy To Receive." Britney Wilson

Trust is a gift few people are worth to receive
so Ive learned to not give it freely
but the doctor says, I have no choice.
I stand alone
with assistance
Hard for me to express myself
because I cant protect myself if Im exposed.
The loneliness would swallow me
The ignorance makes me want to break some kneecaps
so they can feel my pain
This sticks and stones society bruises me every day
Sore -but still kicking.
I dont have time to be that bleeding animal in the middle of the road
waiting for people to stop staring
and see ME

Im Giving Life its Hard Knocks BACK!!!

2009-04-20T07:28:00.001-07:00

BELIEF
by Jon Gilson of againfaster.com

As a child, you can do anything. The future is an unwritten story, unencumbered by the fetters of harsh reality. Belief is easy to come by, as simple as hearing or seeing. Potential is infinite, and always given its due.

As we get older, living is no longer an exercise in blind faith. Doubt creeps in, and skepticism finds its way into our minds. The world gives us our knocks, and with each blow, the bounds of reality narrow. The vernacular of the impossible impregnates our speech and infects our actions, until we stay with the safe, the pleasant, and the known, afraid to push back against the unfamiliar and the difficult.

This unfortunate evolution leaves us unsure of our abilities, scared to display incompetence and unwilling to attempt the unknown. Terrified of another hard knock, we display only those traits with known rewards and certain payoffs. We become small and weak as the chains of doubt weave themselves into our lives.
We cannot conquer frustration by quitting, nor defeat the unknown with doubt.

Every time you grab a barbell or strap on a weight vest, you have the opportunity to reverse this disastrous course. Instead of succumbing to the gravity of your misgivings, you can take heart in your potential. You can push back against the pain, secure in the knowledge that every failure can be remedied, every misstep righted. With a piece of cold rolled steel, you can crush the virus of inadequacy beneath your heel.

We don’t trade in exercise. We trade in the idea that your potential is exactly what you believe it to be. Squats, pull-ups and levers are merely tools, a chance to show the world that it is wrong, its lessons flawed. We cannot conquer frustration by quitting, nor defeat the unknown with doubt. Meekness can never be rewarded, and with every clash, we scream this message.

I’ve seen athletes perform the impossible, heaving against every fiber of their being, a living war cry in the face of adversity. They overcome through sheer exertion of will, shattering the fallacy of the immovable object by becoming the unstoppable force. These athletes come from a thousand different places, unique only in their refusal to accept the world’s false constraints. They choose to believe in their own capacity for greatness, and they are rewarded.

Belief is a place where the irrational exuberance of childhood finds new life, where the burden of the past is shed in favor of the promise of the future. Belief is a chance to give all the hard knocks back, to free ourselves to become anything. Stop wondering if you can, and know that achievement is as simple as trying, over and over again.

Beach Day for Shari!!!

2009-04-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

Finally - a beautiful sunny, hot weekend for me to enjoy. I still have work to get done, but I managed to sneak away both days to read at my little beach at the end of my street. I was supposed to have a visitor this weekend, but plans changed - it opened me up to do the Santa Cruz Half Marathon race this morning....which turned out great! Im waiting for the results to get posted because I'm pretty certain I placed in my division. After the race I came home to eat and clean up - and headed back to the beach where I soaked up the rays for a few hours.....we live in the best place !! I got on my cruiser and went for a ride to the point to hang out with some friends and check out the scenery ;) It was a perfect weekend for me - the only thing missing is a man by my side. I know that will come when I least expect it - I spend a lot of my time alone and it used to really make me sad.....now it seems as though I am used to it. I don't know yet if thats a good thing to get used to or not! My housemate and I are having a BBQ tonight and a lot of friends will be here - Im excited about that and have to hurry to get my work completed so I can fully relax.

I hope everybody enjoyed their weekend as much as I did. Say a prayer for me that I find my king.....I was made to be part of a team - it's my hearts desire. :)

If I asked you a question...how would you answer it??

2009-04-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

Are you a good person? Have you done selfless acts for another human? Maybe somebody you don't even know. When somebody was in need, did you extend your hand to help them out? Doesn't have to be with a financial assistance - what about an emotional assistance? Have you ever befriended the friendless? Let me ask you this....what do you think people will say about you at your funeral? What is the legacy you leave behind in this world, and is it one that you feel proud of, or cringe at the thought? Are you a good person even when you don't think people are watching you??

I am in a very good place in my life right now and am very happy. Content is the word I used in my last post.....but I often like to sit and reflect on myself as a person and take inventory - emotional inventory of my life and think about if I am living the way I want to be living? Money, things, status....all that fades - it really doesn't matter at all when you are laying on your death bed. My pastor once said that the thought you will have most in your last moments isn't- "man I wish I had bought that fast sportscar!" But more along the lines of, "I wish I had spent more time with my family."

We as humans have developed this ME FIRST mentality to our lives and we have become more depressed, unhappy people because of it! Depression, suicide, divorce, obesity all of those ailments have steadily increased through the years and we have gotten more and more selfish also. Selfish with our money, our stuff but mostly our TIME. What ever happened to reading books with your children at bedtime? Or visiting your grandmother and sharing a cup of coffee and a slice of some treat for an afternoon? Or what about the friend who is going through a hard time in her life and needs a friend? I will be the first to admit that I have been on a fast paced whirlwind and my time has become such a precious comodity that my relationships that matter the most to me have taken the back seat lately. It eats at my soul. Easter was an eye opening day for me. Why? Because I got to spend time with my family - children, father, grandmother, aunts and uncles - and I realized just how much their presence in my life matters! Slowing down and soaking up moments in time - isn't that what living an abundant life is all about? Every time I hang out with my grandmother I feel like somehow I leave a better person.....isn't that crazy?? By giving of myself to another I reap the benefits!! LOL....selfish outcome, with an very unselfish intent. My pastor used to say , "If you're having a bad day....walk out of your house, lock the door and go help somebody else." If we all did that think of how much we could change thew world!! Okay, think of how much we could change our private worlds.

I used to be a very giving, loving, kind hearted person. I have given of myself emotionally, physically and monetarily for friends, relatives, and strangers a lot. I've donated time to my church, food shelters, and went door to door in Beach Flats with groceries to feed the poor - I started a school supplies outreach for the beach flats community children to give each child there everything they need to have a great year at school. I've helped the elderly at convelesent hospitals by reading with them, playing games with them and just caring about them. When a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer I started juicing homeopathic remedies for her every day and would help her get out of bed everyday....the point I am making is I GAVE OF MYSELF UNSELFISHLY.

Then I made a mistake with a decision that changed my life situation and it changed my heart. It hardened me. It made me defensive, closed off to others, rude, hurtful, self seeking, and above all sad. I started to take the important things in life for granted. I was blinded and forgot who I was. The mistake has been corrected and I am on my way back to who I really am in my heart. I will never take for granted the people in my life that matter the most.....or the little things in life that give me such joy......that feed my soul. When I was at a low point in my life where I felt like opening my eyes another day seemed like such a hard concept I wrote a list.....a list of things I would miss if I never opened my eyes again. Here's a few items from that list...

-listening to Sarah laugh so hard that her head gets tossed back and and her entire body shakes.
-laying on my bed with my daughter watching comedians laughing so hard we cry and hearing her say,"mom...we have the same laugh."
-my sons sweet frekles that kiss the bridge of his nose and knowing that he got them from me.
-The sound of the rain pelting on the window in the middle of the night.
-Hearing my son say "You're the greatest mom in the world."
-running on a perfectly leaf lined trail in the crisp air in Nisene
-The day when Randy said "I forgive you."
-watching my amazing clients succeed and reach their goals
-smiling so hard your face aches
-smelling the ocean air at 4am on my doorstep
-crashing waves
-making a friends life easier
-being scared of something but doing it anyway....

By writing these things I changed. I had something to hold on to. Now my list is so much bigger! I have many things to be grateful for and I hope I inspire you to make your own list. Give the best gift you can - give of yourself! Let me remind you of the questions....

Are you a good person even when you think nobody is watching?? How do you want to be remembered??
I can answer those questions.....what about you??
Oh - do yourself a favor....rent the movie "Seven Pounds" and open your heart and your mind to the message.....

Okay, Im done with my rant....

Remember - you can't play with peoples lives.

JUMP!!!

2009-04-17T13:50:00.001-07:00

Yesterdays workout was a fun one - but I would have had way more fun if Gary worked out WITH me instead of shooting pictures of me working out!! This is me warming up for "D.T" 12 deadlifts, 9 hang power cleans, 6 push jerks. x5 rounds....Im not the best at jerking because of my screwed up neck, so I always have to go lighter or suffer the migranes. I guess the 95# wasn't light enough, because I woke up all night feeling like my head would be better off severed from my body! Guess the disk problem isn't magically repairing itself, damn!

Then I did CrossFit Endurance workout:

90 on/ 1 minute off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 15 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ DONE.
Started with a 2 mile warm up - then hit this HARD was breathless the entire sprints. Then finished with a 1 mile cool down. Total was 5.3 miles

Beautiful SunnyCove Beach...

2009-04-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Santa Cruz is simply THE best place to live...

My Life is Incredible!!!

2009-04-14T20:21:00.001-07:00

So many amazing great random things have happened for me in my life in the past 4 months that I don't know where to start. For the first time in my life I am content. I don't have anybody to rely on but myself for my happiness or for whatever pat on the back I may be seeking. Content....in all situations...I believe that I am there..or at least one foot in the door. I am Single for the first time in 19 years, and you know what - I am completely happy. It was difficult at first - Im not denying that at all. Especially with the circumstances that made me single and the betrayal that happened, and all that encompassed that part of my life. I was still wrapped up in "what could have been" up until the end of January. Then after Brendan showed me who he was for the last time I chose to believe him and recognize him for the selfish prick that he truly is - and detach from him and lock him out of my life for good. It was the best thing that could have happened for me. They say that everything happens for a reason, and I lived my life believing that - not always liking it - but believing it for the good things and the bad things..no matter how painful or confusing the situation. Brendan leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I have grown as a woman like I never would have had he stayed and continued to suck the life out of me. I have had amazing times with my children, my ex husband Randy and I have started to define a new relationship with each other. We even went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and that never would have happened had I not seen through his eyes the hurt that I caused him - was like what Brendan caused me. Karma is a bitch. I am surrounded by completely incredible people in my life and they all play a huge role in building my character as a human. I have started to say "yes" to things that come my way, instead of automatically saying "I dont have time" , and because of that I have met THE best people!!! Tod and Neon are just a couple people who randomly entered my life and opened all sorts of doors and opportunities for me. I took a chance - got on a plane to meet a man I didn't know, never met, and knew nothing about other than the emails we exchanged, and the pictures I saw. I wasn't scared once and I knew it was going to be an amazing experience and it was!! He is incredible!! Junker Designs...check it out!! Have you ever been around somebody that you just felt "I am in the presence of greatness..." well - that's him. He's filled with talent that I can't even fathom. I enjoy his friendship...and he's helping me start business #2....also trippy is his birthday is January 28, 1968 --- I am January 29, 1969...I ended up having so much fun In LA seeing a part of life that I never have - now he's coming to my town for a visit and Im going to show him CrossFit, my beach, talk business and just run around with our hair on fire...(well, my hair, his dreds) If I didn't allow myself the freedom to say Yes, I never would have met him. Neon is equally amazing and Ill write about her some other time....

I know I am rambling - but it's just that I am so filled with new things that have opened for me that I want to try and get it all down!!! I finally feel like I am ME again. Not trying to please a man who was critical and judgmental of me - unaccepting of my children and of my dreams.

My friends have all commented on how they feel like they are meeting Shari for the first time and I guess it sorta feels that way - shes been a little dormant, but Im back now - and there's nothing holding me back.

I started business #1 Meals Rx....I am a real company recognized by California - I am trademarked, and getting franchised. Tod will be making our company logo and I already have 5 states that want to start up a Meals Rx in their community. Its incredibly time consuming work - but it's mine. I created this. Nobody else. It's something that if we take care of it - it will take care of us and me and the children can develop the company to be as huge as we want... Watching Sarah and Brandon take pride in helping is priceless to me! Meals are selling out both in Santa Cruz and in Newport and Mealsrx.blogspot.com is linked off of several websites and in one day I got over 100 hits!! Better than all of that I get to work with one of my favorite men on the planet as a bonus!!

I am filled with gratitude. I have had so many sad, hard, pain filled days that I wondered when they would ever go away - and I wondered when I would be able to smile when I lay my head down at night instead of cry. Well - everything happens for a reason, and I had to go through all of that crap so that I could reach this place I stand in right now. I can look you in the eyes and say with all that I am - I am a strong woman! I will never give up! No situation or person can keep me down! I can dream big and I CAN do everything that I set my mind to...

That's my rant....if I sound puffed up or self righteous, Im sorry - but if you take the time to look back on my posts and what I came out of - not just the past 6 months, but my life.....you'll read this post a little differently I think. For my awesome friends and people who e mail me every day from all over the world - THANKS!!! I wrote tjhis for you so you can see that i am sooo much better than I was. You can relax and not worry about me :) My awesome friends in Sweden and New Zealand...thank you :)

Love you all...

Try it - start saying YES to all situations that come your way....otherwise you might be missing out on some really cool stuff and even cooler people and relationships!!!

The picture of the skydiver is Geoffrey Anderson - the love of my life (aside from my husband) who ended up changing my life forever. I lost Geoffrey to a skydiving plane crash so many years ago- that experience was the worst pain I have ever felt - and yet, his family (all deceased) are a daily presence in my life until I die....hmm..mind blowing . You never know what affect you will leave on another persons life, anyway - those who know me understand how deeply Geoffrey is with me. (the street I live on connects to Geoffrey Street which leads to the beach - his favorite spot.)

From CrossFit GreySkull...

2009-04-14T20:16:00.001-07:00

This guy is my hero....crazy CrossFitter!!

Untitled from john sheaffer on Vimeo.

Tank Girl Shoot

2009-03-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

Tattoos, leather high boots, faux hawks, tons of makeup and cameras equals FUN to this girl!!! This is me getting tied the fuck into my corset as tight as itll go. Thanks Teresa :) Seems that was her job for the entire shoot that day. Every outfit there she was tightening my straps and lacing me up.....was super awesome though.

2009-03-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

I have had an amazing couple of months at CrossFit and Endurance training. I've hit PR after PR at pretty much everything I attempt and I am stoked!!! Helen, Michael, Fran, 5ktt, 10k tt, 1 mile tt to name a few. I still have a long way to go - but at least I am on the right track. There has been so much happening for me, some amazing - some not so great, that all I can do is hang on and roll with it :) Starting your own business is a little scary and a whole lot exciting. I'll reveal the name soon - Im just waiting on the state of California to approve it and give me the go ahead, should be within a week or 2.

So - here's some pics of me (there ya go guys - now you can stop emailing me) and yes I like to walk around the house in heels and panties - I always have. Especially when it's just me in the house these days....I cook like this too :) stupid I know, but I don't give a fuck.

get out there and train hard and never stop. There aren't many things in this world that wre have control over. We can't control what happens to us - but we CAN control how we respond to it and we CAN control how we treat our bodies. When life gets crazy for me and things spin out of my comfort zone I tend to tighten up my trainng and my running.....simply because i CAN control that aspect of my life. My diet as well....I have control of what I decide to eat - nobody else can screw that up for me. Nobody can screw with my training either. I've been thrown under the bus quite a lot as of late - so that saying rings true to me.."That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger!!" So fuck all of you who try to hold me down and hurt me....I am thriving. I have gotten stronger, better, and when you knock me down - I stand stronger than I was before!!

Shari starts a trend....

2009-02-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

This is Joe from CrossFit Milford copying my back squat booty shorts picture posted on the CrossFit Endurance site. I'm sure coach Jason Leydon had something to do with it. Thanks guys, what a compliment!! Next time I'll be sure to wear a bikini and stilettos while deadlifting - just to see what Joe comes up with ;) I love my CrossFit family , you keep it fun and keep me on my toes.

This past week of training has been tiring and I am in desperate need of a total day off. Usually I get 2 days off a week. This week, for whatever reason, I looked at my training log and found I hadn't taken 1 complete day off at all. Not good for Shari. I did take days off of CrossFit, and days off from endurance training, but every day of the week was some ass kicking torture. I suspect tomorrow will be a total day of rest for this little girl. I'm not setting the alarm so I can wake when my body wants to get up - and go from there. I've been extremely tired mid day with all that is going on in my life, so rest is what I need the most of right now. After all, it's the rest days that help us get stronger, right? I'm lucky in so many ways - I get to train with the top athletes every day (Annie, Eva, Michele, Rob, Zac, Gary) and I have relationships with the smartest people on the planet (BMack, Carl, Rob Wolf, Steve) all these people in my life feeding my interest on nutrition and training has been making me a better athlete. Steve can teach me non stop about Paleo eating and tasty recipes, as can Rob Wolf - Carl and Brian, well these guys are my mentors. I learn from them constantly about endurance training and how to be a better coach to my athletes. Because of them, my "light" reading consists of an Anatomy book, Physiology book, and the Paleo diet for Athletes book. I've put down my Twilight series for these for now. Anyway - we are all trying to better ourselves and pass information along to our clients and also make ourselves better at our sports..... right? I'm not looking to compete at the Games - but I am looking at competing this coming race season and to be better than my last 2 race performances. I have always eaten good - Zone- but now that I am Paleo I feel better and have been making PRs in strength and time trials. I feel pretty good about where I am headed :) Thanks team!!!

2009-02-15T21:48:00.001-08:00

Back Squat Sunday

2009-02-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

I have been following the main site WODs but today what was posted wasn't what I needed (sorry) so I opted for some back squats. Ended up doing 3x5 at 155#. I want to do back squats, deadlifts and presses every week , along with the main site 3days on, 1 day off and CrossFit Endurance 3 days a week. Doing split days allows me to hit each session with all that I have. I started eating Paleo last month (Jan 29th) before the Alamo cert in Texas. After talking with Bmack, Carl, Rob Wolf and all the reading and researching I have done it just makes more sense to me. A Paleo/Zone diet of 12 blocks and 3x the fat has been working for me. Lost a little strength for whatever reason, I suspect the change of no dairy no grains might have affected me after all the sprint workouts I do. So, upping my fat blocks seems to have taken care of that. I go through an entire jar of almond butter every couple days - I hope that's okay? ;)

Sunday am:

3x5 Back squats

150-152-155-155-155

Sunday mid afternoon:

CrossFit Endurance:

5 minutes on/5 minutes off

4 minutes on/4 minutes off

3 minutes on/3 minutes off

2 minutes on/2 minutes off

1 minute on/1 minute off

*done on my treadmill because of the crazy rain falling outside. Ive run 3 days in the pouring rain, and was over it! 3% grade - 1 mile warm up. 3 sets of skills and drills. Covered 2.80 miles for the workout + warm up and cool down =4.80 miles.

Weighed in at 102 pounds this morning, fresh outta bed, naked. Down 3 pounds, so time to up that fat :) almond butter here I come!!!

Now get out there and train.

40 and Fabulous!

2009-02-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

Me and my daddy, Brittany, me and Jen, Julie and myself, and the bottom pics are of my best friend Chris, Gary, my kiddos and Emily Randy and myself. I'll have to post all the pics when I have more time. Everybody made my birthday the best one yet. Thanks to all who came to celebrate with me. After the shitty text I got on my birthday, you all knew how to turn the night around for me. Thanks!

My "Fabulous 40" Birthday Bash!!

2009-02-04T15:32:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking..."what!? NO WAY is she 40!" Well, I am and I feel amazing in my life. It's no secret that I have hit quite a few big bumps along the way and have had my share of hurts and pain, but you know what? They have all combined to mold me into the woman I am right now. In THIS moment. And in THIS moment, I am an incredible loving, blessed woman. My life is rich in love and honestly, I feel content. Isn't that what we strive for? To be content in ALL situations, like Paul the disciple of Jesus. He said that he learned how to be content in every situation. When you really think about that sentence it can get the gears moving. It's easy to feel that way when life is going well and you have everything that YOU feel need or want. But when everything is gone and you are stripped from those things that make you feel content what do you feel? Life has been one huge roller coaster ride for me and just when I think I am at a place of contentment, something changes and I am back at the bottom. I am happy for these times, because TODAY, I honestly feel content. Anything else that comes up or anybody that comes into my life at this point is icing on the cake. I still have some days where I slide back to that sad spot or whatever, but they are far and few in between. Yay for me! I have the best life, the best friends, the most amazing children and X EVER. The best birthday gift I got this year was for Randy to come to my party. It meant the world to me because he is a huge part of my life and I want the chance to really show that.

CrossFit Alamo, TX

2009-02-04T15:23:00.000-08:00

Lunch time workout with Bryan, BMack and Carl. It was a smoker too! 10 one leg step ups onto a 24" box (5 each leg) and 200 meter run x5 rounds. The guys used anywhere from 125-135# and I used 90#. The trick was to engage that posterior chain and rely only upon the standing leg until you reach extension at the top of the box. Only then can the non working leg switch and take some of the load. Stepping with the chest open and tall got a little harder as my ass worked harder! The runs felt like I was made of cement :) Great job to my BMack and Carl! Always look forward to working out with these studs. They also indirectly challenged me to eating more of a Paleo based diet and so far it has been 6 days and I feel amazing. I always ate clean, and stayed away from starches and sweets except for the cheat days. Now - I don't even want one! Well, I DO want one, I'll be honest, but will NOT take one. I feel so good after just eating all the meat and veggies, nuts and seeds I can handle. I'm only eating berries for fruit and TONS of fat! Almond butter by the bucket loads, and I keep getting lean. Anyway, I always learn so much from Brian when he speaks I'm like a sponge around him and he makes me a better person for sure after hearing his lectures. Carl is a wealth of information and always teaches me something as well. Plus we have a ton of fun together! Everybody at the Alamo box werethe sweetest CrossFitters I have met. Their hospitality was amazing and the love they have for each other showed. Thanks for having us Texas :)

My Amazing 5am Crew!!

2009-01-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I have the best clients in the ENTIRE world. Hands down. Left to right...Ian, Marian, Buck, Jen, Rachael, Curtis, Erron, Andrew, Leslie, Mary and Lee. I train these monsters as follows: M, W, F is Jen, Buck and Ian and 5am and Lee and Erron at 6am. In the evening its Curtis
T, Th at 5am its Marian, Rachael, Mary, and Leslie. And Andrews at 9am ..

All these athletes are mountain bike riders, 3 of them are Pro Downhill Mountain Bike riders, and some are amazingly fast runners. ALL of them push harder than is even possible at 5am in the morning. This picture was taken after a Christmas Eve smack down workout of Fight Gone Bad where they pushed eachother. Every person in this photo makes my life full. They are the reason I love what I do for a living - watching them go from falling over when squatting to deadlifting 215 pounds... and watching them win the Sea Otter Classics ... it just fills me with pride. I am blessed because they touch my life and they trust me with their fitness. Every single person here makes PR's every times they lift - the results they have gotten is just nutz. Here's to a kick ass 2009 - getting stronger, faster, leaner (if that's possible) and breaking records! Did I mention that Curtis did a 4:45 Karen? Oh yea....I train BEASTS for a living!!

2009!!

2009-01-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

So much has transpired in the past 2 weeks for me that I don't really know where to start, or if I even want to talk about it on my online diary. Hmm...I'm going to choose to protect it but I will say that my life has suddenly taken a turn and it's for the better. I go into 2009 feeling hopeful, excited, changed. I will be traveling more often, some times for CrossFit Endurance, sometimes for pleasure....both equally amazing. I hope everybody out there has taken inventory of their lives, and made a mental note of where they want to go this year and what they want to leave behind. Its no secret that 2008 held a lot of struggle and hurt for me - and I am more than glad to leave that year behind! It's going to be an amazing year ....

Slippery....

2008-12-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

It was cold, and slippery, but worth it. I guess my perception of what I look like may be off...because I don't think I look like THIS...but it's me. CrossFit does give you an ass, where running didn't. :) Must be them heavy back squats...thanks EVA!!

Getting Sexier....

2008-12-18T19:08:00.001-08:00

Again...photoshoot with Hill last night at NSC. Do you like em???

Pictures from Hill

2008-12-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

Hill is so amazing at photography....lighting...poses. There's a lot that goes into getting that one shot he has in his head....I like this one..

Photo Shoot with Hillgard

2008-12-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

Had another photoshoot with Hill last night. This one was at CrossFit NSC for some athletic shots. I really love the way they came out. I'll post more as they get uploaded. It was freaking cold at 8 30 at night....a little suffering was worth it. I think they came out great!

December 2006 CIM

2008-12-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is from the 2006 CIM marathon - Brendan was a great help for me and I finished strong. I will dedicate mile 6 to him this year as that's when I get warmed up and get in the groove....

Reflection.....

2008-12-03T16:13:00.000-08:00

This time of year is always a time of self reflection for me. It reminds me of when I first moved here way back when, 1992 to be exact....in December. I was an absolute MESS when I made the move from San Jose to Santa Cruz. I was at a dead end in my life - drug addicted and completely lost. I didn't feel my life at all...I was merely existing. In my heart I know I wanted a fresh start but really didn't know how one would find me. When the love of my life died in 1992 I couldn't get any lower....I escaped to Santa Cruz to detox and start to know what living was really all about. The smells at thi stime of year can set me right back to that part of my life....the misty ocean mornings, the fog blanketed ocean shores, the Christmas lights on the boats at the harbor...all of it. This morning when I left the house and heard the waves crashing - I took in a big whiff of the salty air and my mind was right back to those feelings I had as a young 23 year old trying to survive. The tears started to flow....I wasn't even really sad per se, but crazy how I can just go there so quickly. Then the self reflection was in effect. What the hell am I doing with my life? Is this all there is? For me? My mind raced to my x husband and all the damage I caused his heart. These feelings were intertwined with my hurt feelings over what Brendan did to me....the words "Karma" escaped through my lips. Will forgiveness ever overtake my heart? How can I ask forgiveness from the father of my children...the man I spent 16 years with , if I can't walk in it as well? My head hung low. I asked God to help me....just like I do nearly every day. Some days my life choices are way too much for me to handle and I find myself not able to breathe. Am I destined to always have this label? To live this life? Or will I find my true happiness? You know...I used to believe that the only human emotion that mattered was pain. Happiness leaves you at some point. Pain....it never leaves you. You are forever scarred with what painful things you have managed to walk throiugh in your life. As crazy as it sounds these situations mold you into who you are today. I have walked through a lot in my life....and I have survived! I have calmed down a lot and have learned many lessons. I embrace what my life has unfolded to be.....and still I march on ahead. I am on my way to Sacramento to run the California International Marathon - for the 8th time. This will be my 18th marathon and the first time going at it alone. No friends to run with, no husband and children to welcome me at the finish line....no Brendan to hold me after wards. It's perfect. A time to go inward and reflect. I have decided to dedicate each mile to a different person. This will give me something to think about and focus on. I will post the list later.....I'm not going to set any records - just to qualify for Boston. I've qualified for Boston 4 other years and have never gone.....this time I want to. I only have to finish in 3:45......the last time I raced this course I finished in 3:16....plenty of room. I'll post my training as well later....I am at race weight (damn it was hard and I didn';t think I'd make it) but I am at 101.5 pounds. I like to do marathons at no heavier that 102 - it's just how I like to run. I've been eating ZONE - but just less blocks. I feel great! My strength is still there - and even though I an nervous - I feel ready. This week has had a lot of new beginnings for me in it - and I am excited to see where everything leads.......for now it leads me to Sacramento.....RACE ON!!!

Finished Image

2008-11-23T12:06:00.000-08:00

This is the edited version of the picture Hill took that I liked the best. What do you think ?

Pin Up Girl Photo Shoot

2008-11-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

Last night was a super fun night. My client Brittany has a photographer who was cool enough to shhot me and a friend. We had a blast! My x husbands girlfriend, Julie, did our makeup and she made me look flawless. Thanks Julie! She managed to erase my freckles : ) I'll post a couple more from the shoot. When asked why I wanted to do the shoot I said it's because I'm turning 40 in January - I went through a bad breakup - my confidence is down and I want to feel beautiful......Thanks to Hill, the photographer, I feel a little better.

HNM_8987

Image

Width:
Height:
Original Date:
Digitized Date:

File

Name:
Size:
Modified:	Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:59:38 GMT
Imported:	Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:41:57 GMT

Camera

Make:
Model:
Software:

Exposure

Shutter:
Aperture:
Max Aperture:
Exposure Bias:
Exposure:
Exposure Index:
Focal Length:
Distance:
Sensing:
Light Source:
Flash:
Metering:
Brightness:
ISO Speed:
GPS Latitude:
GPS Longitude:
GPS Altitude:

Remembering....

2008-11-09T06:34:00.000-08:00

So I got a call a while back from B saying he was remembering the good times...like this one when we got lost on a run. I remember it well. We got lost, took a wrong turn. Ended up running almost 6 miles further than expected. Ran out of water. Had zero food. All we could think of was finding the aid station. When we did we practically camped out there and ate everything in site before we continued to the finish. I made him run 24 miles that day...almost a marathon. He did great and we had one of the best times ever. We will never forget that day I'm sure. Weird how times change.. even after hurt affects you, you can still feel the sting of pain, but at the same time have a warmness fill you from thoughts of great times. 3 years was a long time to make memories. Nobody can take those away from us. I still cherish them, always will....and I know even though all that happened, he does to. Strange I know.....but I still care.

A song that speaks to me PERFECTLY...

2008-11-02T14:24:00.000-08:00

He broke....my heart
and now it's raining....just don't rub it in
I'm at your door
I feel so crazy 'bout it

You say I told you so
You saw it long ago
You knew he had to go
I finally came around
I'm back on solid ground
Can't let it get me down

It's alright.....it's alright
It's alright
It's alright...it's alright
It's alright

Yes, I was burned
but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
soI call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
soI call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Sometimes some lies
Can take a minute
to fully realize
His tears your heart
30 seconds to apologize

You'll give him one more chance
just like the time before
but he already knows
you'd give a hundred more
Til that night in bed
you wake up in a sweat
you're racing toward the door
Can't take it any more

I was burned
but I called it lesson learned
Mistake overturned
and I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
so I call it a lesson learned

Life perfect aint perfect if you don't know
what the struggles for
falling down aint falling down
if you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past
and I'm getting past
and I aint nothing like I was before

You ought to see me now....

Yes, I was burned
but I call is lesson learned......
Mistake overturned
and I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned.....

My Awesome Roomie

2008-10-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

This is Curtis Keene....he is incredible! He races for Specialized in the downhill mountain bike category and is dubbed "The American Dream" . A name that totally suits him. I guess a photographer gave him that nickname and it stuck. I've been reading about his sport, what he does, and checking out the magazine articles and websites, there are a lot of em! He rides and races for a living...I mean...this is what he does for a JOB! He lives a blessed life and is really humble about his talents. Curtis is nothing short of amazing! Seriously....to be a professional athlete takes dedication and talent. The thought of powering down a muddy hill full throttle as fast as you possibly can - over roots, dips, hills, you name it is beyond crazy to me. When I used to do duathlons, I would unclip down the hills and run with my bike! The thought of wiping out is scary to me. I guess I better get over that quick because Curtis and my Specialized clients plan on torturing me on a ride like I torture them at CrossFit. Curtis started CrossFitting with me and Zoning also - so watch out! He's already really great at most of the movements, especially the fast metcon ones...like wall ball! I feel a Karen WOD coming soon for him...also he's incredibly fast on the rower. His time for a 1k and a 500 is the fatsest on the board at Central. Anyway, he got that new toy in the picture a day after he moved in and is finally taking it for a ride today....stoked!! I hope everybody has a great day! Oh yea..weird thing is his name is Keene - mine is Keener.....crazy! Hes an electrition by trade (only 2 months out of the year) and his family owns Keene Electric in Scotts Valley - a place I always drove by and wondered who these Keene people were! Life is great!!

Olympic Weightlifting Cert with Aimee Anaya and Greg Everett In Chico

2008-10-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I attended the cert in Chico at CrossFit NorCal hosted by Greg Everett and Aimee Anaya. I was invited as a guest of Aimees and drove up with Eva T. for the weekend. We had a great time and I learned tons of useful cues, and corrections on some of the big lifts like snatching and cleaning. Big thank you to Niki and Rob Wolf and Aimee and Greg and my hero Eva T. One of the profound thoughts of the weekend for me was that I attended as SHARI. Not Brendans girlfriend.....as myself. I was a seperate entity at a CrossFit event hosted with people Brendan and I knew as a couple and although it was a little different at first, I quickly relaxed and was just myself. Thank God for Eva T. She speaks truth to me and when I feel a moment of weakness, I call her. When you are stuck in a situation and can't see out (I call it the black hole) you need somebody close to you to throw you a lifeline. Eva is that person for me. She threw me a rope several times this past weekend and pulled me out of the dark cave. Thanks Eva. I love you....my guardian angel.