Beach Day for Shari!!!

Finally - a beautiful sunny, hot weekend for me to enjoy. I still have work to get done, but I managed to sneak away both days to read at my little beach at the end of my street. I was supposed to have a visitor this weekend, but plans changed - it opened me up to do the Santa Cruz Half Marathon race this morning....which turned out great! Im waiting for the results to get posted because I'm pretty certain I placed in my division. After the race I came home to eat and clean up - and headed back to the beach where I soaked up the rays for a few hours.....we live in the best place !! I got on my cruiser and went for a ride to the point to hang out with some friends and check out the scenery ;) It was a perfect weekend for me - the only thing missing is a man by my side. I know that will come when I least expect it - I spend a lot of my time alone and it used to really make me sad.....now it seems as though I am used to it. I don't know yet if thats a good thing to get used to or not! My housemate and I are having a BBQ tonight and a lot of friends will be here - Im excited about that and have to hurry to get my work completed so I can fully relax.

I hope everybody enjoyed their weekend as much as I did. Say a prayer for me that I find my king.....I was made to be part of a team - it's my hearts desire. :)

If I asked you a question...how would you answer it??

Are you a good person? Have you done selfless acts for another human? Maybe somebody you don't even know. When somebody was in need, did you extend your hand to help them out? Doesn't have to be with a financial assistance - what about an emotional assistance? Have you ever befriended the friendless? Let me ask you this....what do you think people will say about you at your funeral? What is the legacy you leave behind in this world, and is it one that you feel proud of, or cringe at the thought? Are you a good person even when you don't think people are watching you??

I am in a very good place in my life right now and am very happy. Content is the word I used in my last post.....but I often like to sit and reflect on myself as a person and take inventory - emotional inventory of my life and think about if I am living the way I want to be living? Money, things, status....all that fades - it really doesn't matter at all when you are laying on your death bed. My pastor once said that the thought you will have most in your last moments isn't- "man I wish I had bought that fast sportscar!" But more along the lines of, "I wish I had spent more time with my family."

We as humans have developed this ME FIRST mentality to our lives and we have become more depressed, unhappy people because of it! Depression, suicide, divorce, obesity all of those ailments have steadily increased through the years and we have gotten more and more selfish also. Selfish with our money, our stuff but mostly our TIME. What ever happened to reading books with your children at bedtime? Or visiting your grandmother and sharing a cup of coffee and a slice of some treat for an afternoon? Or what about the friend who is going through a hard time in her life and needs a friend? I will be the first to admit that I have been on a fast paced whirlwind and my time has become such a precious comodity that my relationships that matter the most to me have taken the back seat lately. It eats at my soul. Easter was an eye opening day for me. Why? Because I got to spend time with my family - children, father, grandmother, aunts and uncles - and I realized just how much their presence in my life matters! Slowing down and soaking up moments in time - isn't that what living an abundant life is all about? Every time I hang out with my grandmother I feel like somehow I leave a better person.....isn't that crazy?? By giving of myself to another I reap the benefits!! LOL....selfish outcome, with an very unselfish intent. My pastor used to say , "If you're having a bad day....walk out of your house, lock the door and go help somebody else." If we all did that think of how much we could change thew world!! Okay, think of how much we could change our private worlds.

I used to be a very giving, loving, kind hearted person. I have given of myself emotionally, physically and monetarily for friends, relatives, and strangers a lot. I've donated time to my church, food shelters, and went door to door in Beach Flats with groceries to feed the poor - I started a school supplies outreach for the beach flats community children to give each child there everything they need to have a great year at school. I've helped the elderly at convelesent hospitals by reading with them, playing games with them and just caring about them. When a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer I started juicing homeopathic remedies for her every day and would help her get out of bed everyday....the point I am making is I GAVE OF MYSELF UNSELFISHLY.

Then I made a mistake with a decision that changed my life situation and it changed my heart. It hardened me. It made me defensive, closed off to others, rude, hurtful, self seeking, and above all sad. I started to take the important things in life for granted. I was blinded and forgot who I was. The mistake has been corrected and I am on my way back to who I really am in my heart. I will never take for granted the people in my life that matter the most.....or the little things in life that give me such joy......that feed my soul. When I was at a low point in my life where I felt like opening my eyes another day seemed like such a hard concept I wrote a list.....a list of things I would miss if I never opened my eyes again. Here's a few items from that list...

-listening to Sarah laugh so hard that her head gets tossed back and and her entire body shakes.
-laying on my bed with my daughter watching comedians laughing so hard we cry and hearing her say,"mom...we have the same laugh."
-my sons sweet frekles that kiss the bridge of his nose and knowing that he got them from me.
-The sound of the rain pelting on the window in the middle of the night.
-Hearing my son say "You're the greatest mom in the world."
-running on a perfectly leaf lined trail in the crisp air in Nisene
-The day when Randy said "I forgive you."
-watching my amazing clients succeed and reach their goals
-smiling so hard your face aches
-smelling the ocean air at 4am on my doorstep
-crashing waves
-making a friends life easier
-being scared of something but doing it anyway....

By writing these things I changed. I had something to hold on to. Now my list is so much bigger! I have many things to be grateful for and I hope I inspire you to make your own list. Give the best gift you can - give of yourself! Let me remind you of the questions....

Are you a good person even when you think nobody is watching?? How do you want to be remembered??
I can answer those questions.....what about you??
Oh - do yourself a favor....rent the movie "Seven Pounds" and open your heart and your mind to the message.....

Okay, Im done with my rant....

Remember - you can't play with peoples lives.

JUMP!!!

Yesterdays workout was a fun one - but I would have had way more fun if Gary worked out WITH me instead of shooting pictures of me working out!! This is me warming up for "D.T" 12 deadlifts, 9 hang power cleans, 6 push jerks. x5 rounds....Im not the best at jerking because of my screwed up neck, so I always have to go lighter or suffer the migranes. I guess the 95# wasn't light enough, because I woke up all night feeling like my head would be better off severed from my body! Guess the disk problem isn't magically repairing itself, damn!

Then I did CrossFit Endurance workout:

90 on/ 1 minute off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 15 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ DONE.
Started with a 2 mile warm up - then hit this HARD was breathless the entire sprints. Then finished with a 1 mile cool down. Total was 5.3 miles

Beautiful SunnyCove Beach...

Santa Cruz is simply THE best place to live...

My Life is Incredible!!!

So many amazing great random things have happened for me in my life in the past 4 months that I don't know where to start. For the first time in my life I am content. I don't have anybody to rely on but myself for my happiness or for whatever pat on the back I may be seeking. Content....in all situations...I believe that I am there..or at least one foot in the door. I am Single for the first time in 19 years, and you know what - I am completely happy. It was difficult at first - Im not denying that at all. Especially with the circumstances that made me single and the betrayal that happened, and all that encompassed that part of my life. I was still wrapped up in "what could have been" up until the end of January. Then after Brendan showed me who he was for the last time I chose to believe him and recognize him for the selfish prick that he truly is - and detach from him and lock him out of my life for good. It was the best thing that could have happened for me. They say that everything happens for a reason, and I lived my life believing that - not always liking it - but believing it for the good things and the bad things..no matter how painful or confusing the situation. Brendan leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I have grown as a woman like I never would have had he stayed and continued to suck the life out of me. I have had amazing times with my children, my ex husband Randy and I have started to define a new relationship with each other. We even went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and that never would have happened had I not seen through his eyes the hurt that I caused him - was like what Brendan caused me. Karma is a bitch. I am surrounded by completely incredible people in my life and they all play a huge role in building my character as a human. I have started to say "yes" to things that come my way, instead of automatically saying "I dont have time" , and because of that I have met THE best people!!! Tod and Neon are just a couple people who randomly entered my life and opened all sorts of doors and opportunities for me. I took a chance - got on a plane to meet a man I didn't know, never met, and knew nothing about other than the emails we exchanged, and the pictures I saw. I wasn't scared once and I knew it was going to be an amazing experience and it was!! He is incredible!! Junker Designs...check it out!! Have you ever been around somebody that you just felt "I am in the presence of greatness..." well - that's him. He's filled with talent that I can't even fathom. I enjoy his friendship...and he's helping me start business #2....also trippy is his birthday is January 28, 1968 --- I am January 29, 1969...I ended up having so much fun In LA seeing a part of life that I never have - now he's coming to my town for a visit and Im going to show him CrossFit, my beach, talk business and just run around with our hair on fire...(well, my hair, his dreds) If I didn't allow myself the freedom to say Yes, I never would have met him. Neon is equally amazing and Ill write about her some other time....

I know I am rambling - but it's just that I am so filled with new things that have opened for me that I want to try and get it all down!!! I finally feel like I am ME again. Not trying to please a man who was critical and judgmental of me - unaccepting of my children and of my dreams.

My friends have all commented on how they feel like they are meeting Shari for the first time and I guess it sorta feels that way - shes been a little dormant, but Im back now - and there's nothing holding me back.

I started business #1 Meals Rx....I am a real company recognized by California - I am trademarked, and getting franchised. Tod will be making our company logo and I already have 5 states that want to start up a Meals Rx in their community. Its incredibly time consuming work - but it's mine. I created this. Nobody else. It's something that if we take care of it - it will take care of us and me and the children can develop the company to be as huge as we want... Watching Sarah and Brandon take pride in helping is priceless to me! Meals are selling out both in Santa Cruz and in Newport and Mealsrx.blogspot.com is linked off of several websites and in one day I got over 100 hits!! Better than all of that I get to work with one of my favorite men on the planet as a bonus!!

I am filled with gratitude. I have had so many sad, hard, pain filled days that I wondered when they would ever go away - and I wondered when I would be able to smile when I lay my head down at night instead of cry. Well - everything happens for a reason, and I had to go through all of that crap so that I could reach this place I stand in right now. I can look you in the eyes and say with all that I am - I am a strong woman! I will never give up! No situation or person can keep me down! I can dream big and I CAN do everything that I set my mind to...

That's my rant....if I sound puffed up or self righteous, Im sorry - but if you take the time to look back on my posts and what I came out of - not just the past 6 months, but my life.....you'll read this post a little differently I think. For my awesome friends and people who e mail me every day from all over the world - THANKS!!! I wrote tjhis for you so you can see that i am sooo much better than I was. You can relax and not worry about me :) My awesome friends in Sweden and New Zealand...thank you :)

Love you all...

Try it - start saying YES to all situations that come your way....otherwise you might be missing out on some really cool stuff and even cooler people and relationships!!!

The picture of the skydiver is Geoffrey Anderson - the love of my life (aside from my husband) who ended up changing my life forever. I lost Geoffrey to a skydiving plane crash so many years ago- that experience was the worst pain I have ever felt - and yet, his family (all deceased) are a daily presence in my life until I die....hmm..mind blowing . You never know what affect you will leave on another persons life, anyway - those who know me understand how deeply Geoffrey is with me. (the street I live on connects to Geoffrey Street which leads to the beach - his favorite spot.)

From CrossFit GreySkull...

This guy is my hero....crazy CrossFitter!!



Untitled from john sheaffer on Vimeo.

Tank Girl Shoot

Tattoos, leather high boots, faux hawks, tons of makeup and cameras equals FUN to this girl!!! This is me getting tied the fuck into my corset as tight as itll go. Thanks Teresa :) Seems that was her job for the entire shoot that day. Every outfit there she was tightening my straps and lacing me up.....was super awesome though. 

I have had an amazing couple of months at CrossFit and Endurance training. I've hit PR after PR at pretty much everything I attempt and I am stoked!!! Helen, Michael, Fran, 5ktt, 10k tt, 1 mile tt to name a few. I still have a long way to go - but at least I am on the right track. There has been so much happening for me, some amazing - some not so great, that all I can do is hang on and roll with it :) Starting your own business is a little scary and a whole lot exciting. I'll reveal the name soon - Im just waiting on the state of California to approve it and give me the go ahead, should be within a week or 2. 

So - here's some pics of me (there ya go guys - now you can stop emailing me) and yes I like to walk around the house in heels and panties - I always have. Especially when it's just me in the house these days....I cook like this too :) stupid I know, but I don't give a fuck. 

get out there and train hard and never stop. There aren't many things in this world that wre have control over. We can't control what happens to us - but we CAN control how we respond to it and we CAN control how we treat our bodies. When life gets crazy for me and things spin out of my comfort zone I tend to tighten up my trainng and my running.....simply because i CAN control that aspect of my life. My diet as well....I have control of what I decide to eat - nobody else can screw that up for me. Nobody can screw with my training either. I've been thrown under the bus quite a lot as of late - so that saying rings true to me.."That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger!!" So fuck all of you who try to hold me down and hurt me....I am thriving. I have gotten stronger, better, and when you knock me down - I stand stronger than I was before!! 

Shari starts a trend....

This is Joe from CrossFit Milford copying my back squat booty shorts picture posted on the CrossFit Endurance site. I'm sure coach Jason Leydon had something to do with it. Thanks guys, what a compliment!! Next time I'll be sure to wear a bikini and stilettos while deadlifting - just to see what Joe comes up with ;) I love my CrossFit family , you keep it fun and keep me on my toes.

This past week of training has been tiring and I am in desperate need of a total day off. Usually I get 2 days off a week. This week, for whatever reason, I looked at my training log and found I hadn't taken 1 complete day off at all. Not good for Shari. I did take days off of CrossFit, and days off from endurance training, but every day of the week was some ass kicking torture. I suspect tomorrow will be a total day of rest for this little girl. I'm not setting the alarm so I can wake when my body wants to get up - and go from there. I've been extremely tired mid day with all that is going on in my life, so rest is what I need the most of right now. After all, it's the rest days that help us get stronger, right? I'm lucky in so many ways - I get to train with the top athletes every day (Annie, Eva, Michele, Rob, Zac, Gary) and I have  relationships with the smartest people on the planet (BMack, Carl, Rob Wolf, Steve) all these people in my life feeding my interest on nutrition and training has been making me a better athlete. Steve can teach me non stop about Paleo eating and tasty recipes, as can Rob Wolf - Carl and Brian, well these guys are my mentors. I learn from them constantly about endurance training and how to be a better coach to my athletes. Because of them, my "light" reading consists of an Anatomy book, Physiology book, and the Paleo diet for Athletes book. I've put down my Twilight series for these for now. Anyway - we are all trying to better ourselves and pass information along to our clients and also make ourselves better at our sports..... right? I'm not looking to compete at the Games - but I am looking at competing this coming race season and to be better than my last 2 race performances. I have always eaten good - Zone- but now that I am Paleo I feel better and have been making PRs in strength and time trials. I feel pretty good about where I am headed :) Thanks team!!!

Back Squat Sunday

I have been following the main site WODs but today what was posted wasn't what I needed (sorry) so I opted for some back squats. Ended up doing 3x5 at 155#. I want to do back squats, deadlifts and presses every week , along with the main site 3days on, 1 day off and CrossFit Endurance 3 days a week. Doing split days allows me to hit each session with all that I have. I started eating Paleo last month (Jan 29th) before the Alamo cert in Texas. After talking with Bmack, Carl, Rob Wolf and all the reading and researching I have done it just makes more sense to me. A Paleo/Zone diet of 12 blocks and 3x the fat has been working for me. Lost a little strength for whatever reason, I suspect the change of no dairy no grains might have affected me after all the sprint workouts I do. So, upping my fat blocks seems to have taken care of that. I go through an entire jar of almond butter every couple days - I hope that's okay? ;)

Sunday am:

3x5 Back squats

150-152-155-155-155

Sunday mid afternoon:

CrossFit Endurance:

5 minutes on/5 minutes off

4 minutes on/4 minutes off

3 minutes on/3 minutes off

2 minutes on/2 minutes off

1 minute on/1 minute off

*done on my treadmill because of the crazy rain falling outside. Ive run 3 days in the pouring rain, and was over it! 3% grade - 1 mile warm up. 3 sets of skills and drills. Covered 2.80 miles for the workout + warm up and cool down =4.80 miles.

Weighed in at 102 pounds this morning, fresh outta bed, naked. Down 3 pounds, so time to up that fat :) almond butter here I come!!! 

Now get out there and train.

40 and Fabulous!

Me and my daddy, Brittany, me and Jen, Julie and myself, and the bottom pics are of my best friend Chris, Gary, my kiddos and Emily Randy and myself. I'll have to post all the pics when I have more time. Everybody made my birthday the best one yet. Thanks to all who came to celebrate with me. After the shitty text I got on my birthday, you all knew how to turn the night around for me. Thanks! 

My "Fabulous 40" Birthday Bash!!

I know what you're thinking..."what!? NO WAY is she 40!" Well, I am and I feel amazing in my life. It's no secret that I have hit quite a few big bumps along the way and have had my share of hurts and pain, but you know what? They have all combined to mold me into the woman I am right now. In THIS moment. And in THIS moment, I am an incredible loving, blessed woman. My life is rich in love and honestly, I feel content. Isn't that what we strive for? To be content in ALL situations, like Paul the disciple of Jesus. He said that he learned how to be content in every situation. When you really think about that sentence it can get the gears moving. It's easy to feel that way when life is going well and you have everything that YOU feel need or want. But when everything is gone and you are stripped from those things that make you feel content what do you feel? Life has been one huge roller coaster ride for me and just when I think I am at a place of contentment, something changes and I am back at the bottom. I am happy for these times, because TODAY, I honestly feel content. Anything else that comes up or anybody that comes into my life at this point is icing on the cake. I still have some days where I slide back to that sad spot or whatever, but they are far and few in between. Yay for me! I have the best life, the best friends, the most amazing children and X EVER. The best birthday gift I got this year was for Randy to come to my party. It meant the world to me because he is a huge part of my life and I want the chance to really show that. 

CrossFit Alamo, TX

Lunch time workout with Bryan, BMack and Carl. It was a smoker too! 10 one leg step ups onto a 24" box (5 each leg) and 200 meter run x5 rounds. The guys used anywhere from 125-135# and I used 90#. The trick was to engage that posterior chain and rely only upon the standing leg until you reach extension at the top of the box. Only then can the non working leg switch and take some of the load. Stepping with the chest open and tall got a little harder as my ass worked harder! The runs felt like I was made of cement :) Great job to my BMack and Carl! Always look forward to working out with these studs. They also indirectly challenged me to eating more of a Paleo based diet and so far it has been 6 days and I feel amazing. I always ate clean, and stayed away from starches and sweets except for the cheat days. Now - I don't even want one! Well, I DO want one, I'll be honest, but will NOT take one. I feel so good after just eating all the meat and veggies, nuts and seeds I can handle. I'm only eating berries for fruit and TONS of fat! Almond butter by the bucket loads, and I keep getting lean. Anyway, I always learn so much from Brian when he speaks I'm like a sponge around him and he makes me a better person for sure after hearing his lectures. Carl is a wealth of information and always teaches me something as well. Plus we have a ton of fun together! Everybody at the Alamo box werethe sweetest CrossFitters I have met. Their hospitality was amazing and the love they have for each other showed. Thanks for having us Texas :)

My Amazing 5am Crew!!

Seriously, I have the best clients in the ENTIRE world. Hands down. Left to right...Ian, Marian, Buck, Jen, Rachael, Curtis, Erron, Andrew, Leslie, Mary and Lee. I train these monsters as follows: M, W, F is Jen, Buck and Ian and 5am and Lee and Erron at 6am. In the evening its Curtis
T, Th at 5am its Marian, Rachael, Mary, and Leslie. And Andrews at 9am ..

All these athletes are mountain bike riders, 3 of them are Pro Downhill Mountain Bike riders, and some are amazingly fast runners. ALL of them push harder than is even possible at 5am in the morning. This picture was taken after a Christmas Eve smack down workout of Fight Gone Bad where they pushed eachother. Every person in this photo makes my life full. They are the reason I love what I do for a living - watching them go from falling over when squatting to deadlifting 215 pounds... and watching them win the Sea Otter Classics ... it just fills me with pride. I am blessed because they touch my life and they trust me with their fitness. Every single person here makes PR's every times they lift - the results they have gotten is just nutz. Here's to a kick ass 2009 - getting stronger, faster, leaner (if that's possible) and breaking records! Did I mention that Curtis did a 4:45 Karen? Oh yea....I train BEASTS for a living!!

2009!!

So much has transpired in the past 2 weeks for me that I don't really know where to start, or if I even want to talk about it on my online diary. Hmm...I'm going to choose to protect it but I will say that my life has suddenly taken a turn and it's for the better. I go into 2009 feeling hopeful, excited, changed. I will be traveling more often, some times for CrossFit Endurance, sometimes for pleasure....both equally amazing. I hope everybody out there has taken inventory of their lives, and made a mental note of where they want to go this year and what they want to leave behind. Its no secret that 2008 held a lot of struggle and hurt for me - and I am more than glad to leave that year behind! It's going to be an amazing year ....

Slippery....

It was cold, and slippery, but worth it. I guess my perception of what I look like may be off...because I don't think I look like THIS...but it's me. CrossFit does give you an ass, where running didn't. :) Must be them heavy back squats...thanks EVA!!

Getting Sexier....

Again...photoshoot with Hill last night at NSC. Do you like em???

Pictures from Hill

Hill is so amazing at photography....lighting...poses. There's a lot that goes into getting that one shot he has in his head....I like this one..

Photo Shoot with Hillgard

Had another photoshoot with Hill last night. This one was at CrossFit NSC for some athletic shots. I really love the way they came out. I'll post more as they get uploaded. It was freaking cold at 8 30 at night....a little suffering was worth it. I think they came out great!

December 2006 CIM

This is from the 2006 CIM marathon - Brendan was a great help for me and I finished strong. I will dedicate mile 6 to him this year as that's when I get warmed up and get in the groove....

Reflection.....

This time of year is always a time of self reflection for me. It reminds me of when I first moved here way back when, 1992 to be exact....in December. I was an absolute MESS when I made the move from San Jose to Santa Cruz. I was at a dead end in my life - drug addicted and completely lost. I didn't feel my life at all...I was merely existing. In my heart I know I wanted a fresh start but really didn't know how one would find me. When the love of my life died in 1992 I couldn't get any lower....I escaped to Santa Cruz to detox and start to know what living was really all about. The smells at thi stime of year can set me right back to that part of my life....the misty ocean mornings, the fog blanketed ocean shores, the Christmas lights on the boats at the harbor...all of it. This morning when I left the house and heard the waves crashing - I took in a big whiff of the salty air and my mind was right back to those feelings I had as a young 23 year old trying to survive. The tears started to flow....I wasn't even really sad per se, but crazy how I can just go there so quickly. Then the self reflection was in effect. What the hell am I doing with my life? Is this all there is? For me? My mind raced to my x husband and all the damage I caused his heart. These feelings were intertwined with my hurt feelings over what Brendan did to me....the words "Karma" escaped through my lips. Will forgiveness ever overtake my heart? How can I ask forgiveness from the father of my children...the man I spent 16 years with , if I can't walk in it as well? My head hung low. I asked God to help me....just like I do nearly every day. Some days my life choices are way too much for me to handle and I find myself not able to breathe. Am I destined to always have this label? To live this life? Or will I find my true happiness? You know...I used to believe that the only human emotion that mattered was pain. Happiness leaves you at some point. Pain....it never leaves you. You are forever scarred with what painful things you have managed to walk throiugh in your life. As crazy as it sounds these situations mold you into who you are today. I have walked through a lot in my life....and I have survived! I have calmed down a lot and have learned many lessons. I embrace what my life has unfolded to be.....and still I march on ahead. I am on my way to Sacramento to run the California International Marathon - for the 8th time. This will be my 18th marathon and the first time going at it alone. No friends to run with, no husband and children to welcome me at the finish line....no Brendan to hold me after wards. It's perfect. A time to go inward and reflect. I have decided to dedicate each mile to a different person. This will give me something to think about and focus on. I will post the list later.....I'm not going to set any records - just to qualify for Boston. I've qualified for Boston 4 other years and have never gone.....this time I want to. I only have to finish in 3:45......the last time I raced this course I finished in 3:16....plenty of room. I'll post my training as well later....I am at race weight (damn it was hard and I didn';t think I'd make it) but I am at 101.5 pounds. I like to do marathons at no heavier that 102 - it's just how I like to run. I've been eating ZONE - but just less blocks. I feel great! My strength is still there - and even though I an nervous - I feel ready. This week has had a lot of new beginnings for me in it - and I am excited to see where everything leads.......for now it leads me to Sacramento.....RACE ON!!!

Finished Image

This is the edited version of the picture Hill took that I liked the best. What do you think ?

Pin Up Girl Photo Shoot

Last night was a super fun night. My client Brittany has a photographer who was cool enough to shhot me and a friend. We had a blast! My x husbands girlfriend, Julie, did our makeup and she made me look flawless. Thanks Julie! She managed to erase my freckles : ) I'll post a couple more from the shoot. When asked why I wanted to do the shoot I said it's because I'm turning 40 in January - I went through a bad breakup - my confidence is down and I want to feel beautiful......Thanks to Hill, the photographer, I feel a little better.

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Remembering....

So I got a call a while back from B saying he was remembering the good times...like this one when we got lost on a run. I remember it well. We got lost, took a wrong turn. Ended up running almost 6 miles further than expected. Ran out of water. Had zero food. All we could think of was finding the aid station. When we did we practically camped out there and ate everything in site before we continued to the finish. I made him run 24 miles that day...almost a marathon. He did great and we had one of the best times ever. We will never forget that day I'm sure. Weird how times change.. even after hurt affects you, you can still feel the sting of pain, but at the same time have a warmness fill you from thoughts of great times. 3 years was a long time to make memories. Nobody can take those away from us. I still cherish them, always will....and I know even though all that happened, he does to. Strange I know.....but I still care.

A song that speaks to me PERFECTLY...

He broke....my heart
and now it's raining....just don't rub it in
I'm at your door
I feel so crazy 'bout it

You say I told you so
You saw it long ago
You knew he had to go
I finally came around
I'm back on solid ground
Can't let it get me down

It's alright.....it's alright
It's alright
It's alright...it's alright
It's alright

Yes, I was burned
but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
soI call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
soI call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Sometimes some lies
Can take a minute
to fully realize
His tears your heart
30 seconds to apologize

You'll give him one more chance
just like the time before
but he already knows
you'd give a hundred more
Til that night in bed
you wake up in a sweat
you're racing toward the door
Can't take it any more

I was burned
but I called it lesson learned
Mistake overturned
and I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
so I call it a lesson learned

Life perfect aint perfect if you don't know
what the struggles for
falling down aint falling down
if you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past
and I'm getting past
and I aint nothing like I was before

You ought to see me now....

Yes, I was burned
but I call is lesson learned......
Mistake overturned
and I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned.....

My Awesome Roomie

This is Curtis Keene....he is incredible! He races for Specialized in the downhill mountain bike category and is dubbed "The American Dream" . A name that totally suits him. I guess a photographer gave him that nickname and it stuck. I've been reading about his sport, what he does, and checking out the magazine articles and websites, there are a lot of em! He rides and races for a living...I mean...this is what he does for a JOB! He lives a blessed life and is really humble about his talents. Curtis is nothing short of amazing! Seriously....to be a professional athlete takes dedication and talent. The thought of powering down a muddy hill full throttle as fast as you possibly can - over roots, dips, hills, you name it is beyond crazy to me. When I used to do duathlons, I would unclip down the hills and run with my bike! The thought of wiping out is scary to me. I guess I better get over that quick because Curtis and my Specialized clients plan on torturing me on a ride like I torture them at CrossFit. Curtis started CrossFitting with me and Zoning also - so watch out! He's already really great at most of the movements, especially the fast metcon ones...like wall ball! I feel a Karen WOD coming soon for him...also he's incredibly fast on the rower. His time for a 1k and a 500 is the fatsest on the board at Central. Anyway, he got that new toy in the picture a day after he moved in and is finally taking it for a ride today....stoked!! I hope everybody has a great day! Oh yea..weird thing is his name is Keene - mine is Keener.....crazy! Hes an electrition by trade (only 2 months out of the year) and his family owns Keene Electric in Scotts Valley - a place I always drove by and wondered who these Keene people were! Life is great!!

Olympic Weightlifting Cert with Aimee Anaya and Greg Everett In Chico

This past weekend I attended the cert in Chico at CrossFit NorCal hosted by Greg Everett and Aimee Anaya. I was invited as a guest of Aimees and drove up with Eva T. for the weekend. We had a great time and I learned tons of useful cues, and corrections on some of the big lifts like snatching and cleaning. Big thank you to Niki and Rob Wolf and Aimee and Greg and my hero Eva T. One of the profound thoughts of the weekend for me was that I attended as SHARI. Not Brendans girlfriend.....as myself. I was a seperate entity at a CrossFit event hosted with people Brendan and I knew as a couple and although it was a little different at first, I quickly relaxed and was just myself. Thank God for Eva T. She speaks truth to me and when I feel a moment of weakness, I call her. When you are stuck in a situation and can't see out (I call it the black hole) you need somebody close to you to throw you a lifeline. Eva is that person for me. She threw me a rope several times this past weekend and pulled me out of the dark cave. Thanks Eva. I love you....my guardian angel.

Paint Ball Fun Day

Brandon and I went paint balling in the SC mountains with my awesome client Chris and his son Jack a while back and had a great time! I loved the feeling of being able to shoot people without hurting them, and running, ducking and hiding so I don't get taken out! Brandon had fun and even though he was a little apprehensive at first, loosened up when he realized Chris was covering him. Chris was awesome! He let us use his fast equipment and watched out for Brandon the entire time... More fun days ahead I'm sure

Food For Thought....

"What he said is that love is like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don't receive your daily doses of love ? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses. He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn't love, who only takes advantage of the one who gives his or her heart. You can see the way they manipulate eachother, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict."

Mastery of Love.....

Chris H!!!

My new client Chris H. I ADORE this man. He's an accomplished runner who was sponsored by Asics and competed around the world in events ranging from World Championships to the IronMan in Hawaii. The bottom picture is Chris taking 2nd place OVERALL at the IronMan in Hawaii. The car driving next to him is NBC Sports recording him on his run. He's an amzing runner, athlete and great person as well. We're going paint balling this weekend with our kids to have a good time. Brandon is excited to shoot a gun,,,,and it'll be fun to enjoy with a new friend.

Joe Buckley

aka BUCK - he's my M, W F 5am guy and a total bad ass to say the least. He works out with his wife, Jen, who I'll post soon and Ian. There is pretty much nothing short of intense to describe Buck. He works for Specialized and tests mountain bikes for a living. He rides hard and strong and took first place at the Sea Otter Classics downhill slolum course this year. Buck came to me around 1.5 years ago not aboe to perform a good squat, but quickly hit all the movements with ease and continues to amaze the people around him with his strength. He competed at the CrossFit games this past year and did so well, he even beat many others in his heat. He beat a lot of guys in the run, who I thought would actually come in front of him just because of his absolute HATE for running - but there's one thing about Buck - He brings EVERYTHING he has to each and every workout. I swear, I don't think he's ever mellowed out since I started training him! He's got muscle ups, handstand pushups, crazy deadlift strength and can snatch like nobody's business. He and his wife Jen make up a "Power Couple" and they are a force to watch out for. I'm going to talk them into competing at the Games again this upcoming year - so look for them. They are training hard and heavy every session and have plenty of air...It's easy for me to wake up at 4am just because i know I'm going to a gym to train some crazy bad asses who never complain, and who chase perfection....every single time!!

Mary The Principal!!

This is one of my eary morning 5am ers Mary. She just happens to be my son Brandons principal at middle school.....and she rocks! Mary does triathlons and climbed Mt. Whitney recently and plans to go back for a second go at it soon. She pushes hard every class and even though she hates to go heavy - I make her and she always meets the demands I put before her. She once said to me "man..we're crazy for coming here at 5am and waking up at 4 these days!" I responded...."you're not crazy...just dedicated!" And so it goes with Mary....dedicated to her workouts and to all the kids at the SV Middle School. I trust her completely to watch over my son while he's there....plus it's a bonus to know if he got into any trouble during the day!! ;)

Ian Chambers

This is another amazing client - Ian Chambers. He is a chiropractor at healing Waves in Santa Cruz and I had the chance to see him last week for an adjustment and let me say - it was probably the BEST I have ever had! He uses a very gently approach unlike any other chiro I have gone to in the past - which was refreshing. After leaving his office I felt more centered, like my body was actually in alignment for the first time. He used electrodes to test each vertabrae for muscle tightness and seems that every single muscle in my back was lit up! I know I have major problems with my c5 (upper neck area) and this just confirmed it. Anyway he's amazing - go see him! As far as training him - I love it! He pushes really hard every session and always moves well. Dream client to say the least!! More about Ian soon. Plus he's a runner so he already has a special place in my heart because of that!!

Oldie But Goodie....

From CrossFit San Diego when I went there for a visit....great workout!!

From "CrossFit Fire" website.....

"Bill and I had the pleasure of attending a CrossFit Running & Endurance Certification over the weekend. The certification covered the basics of running using the "Pose" method. CrossFit Chicago hosted the cert, and it was an absolute blast! Brian MacKenzie, Carl Borg and Shari Keener were all there to instruct, critique, coach and push us when our bodies were aching. In their defense, Carl DID warn us that we would be VERY sore. I honestly had no idea I had such bad running form until this weekend. I always knew running was my kryptonite, but at least now I know how to make it better. Here is a summary of what I learned this weekend:

1. Running is WAY more complicated than just putting on a cute outfit, tying your shoes and hitting the street
2. With enough skills & drills even the worst runner (me) can improve their technique
3. Slow motion running videos are almost as unflattering as slow motion jump rope videos, but not quite
4. I have muscles in my legs/feet that I didn't even know existed
5. The muscles I didn't know existed are sissies, and need to be worked more often
6. All your beautiful new running form will turn into a painful limp the Monday after a running certification
7. Shari Keener is the hottest CrossFitting woman on the planet!

To explain #7...has anyone seen a woman with about 6% body fat? I haven't until this weekend. We can add Shari's pictures to the list of pictures to show women when they talk about being afraid of "bulking up" from CrossFitting.

Oh my GOD...I love this girl....not only is she funny as all HELL, but her energy is through the roof to say the least! I enjoyed meeting everybody - especially HER!!