Slippery....

It was cold, and slippery, but worth it. I guess my perception of what I look like may be off...because I don't think I look like THIS...but it's me. CrossFit does give you an ass, where running didn't. :) Must be them heavy back squats...thanks EVA!!

Getting Sexier....

Again...photoshoot with Hill last night at NSC. Do you like em???

Pictures from Hill

Hill is so amazing at photography....lighting...poses. There's a lot that goes into getting that one shot he has in his head....I like this one..

Photo Shoot with Hillgard

Had another photoshoot with Hill last night. This one was at CrossFit NSC for some athletic shots. I really love the way they came out. I'll post more as they get uploaded. It was freaking cold at 8 30 at night....a little suffering was worth it. I think they came out great!

December 2006 CIM

This is from the 2006 CIM marathon - Brendan was a great help for me and I finished strong. I will dedicate mile 6 to him this year as that's when I get warmed up and get in the groove....

Reflection.....

This time of year is always a time of self reflection for me. It reminds me of when I first moved here way back when, 1992 to be exact....in December. I was an absolute MESS when I made the move from San Jose to Santa Cruz. I was at a dead end in my life - drug addicted and completely lost. I didn't feel my life at all...I was merely existing. In my heart I know I wanted a fresh start but really didn't know how one would find me. When the love of my life died in 1992 I couldn't get any lower....I escaped to Santa Cruz to detox and start to know what living was really all about. The smells at thi stime of year can set me right back to that part of my life....the misty ocean mornings, the fog blanketed ocean shores, the Christmas lights on the boats at the harbor...all of it. This morning when I left the house and heard the waves crashing - I took in a big whiff of the salty air and my mind was right back to those feelings I had as a young 23 year old trying to survive. The tears started to flow....I wasn't even really sad per se, but crazy how I can just go there so quickly. Then the self reflection was in effect. What the hell am I doing with my life? Is this all there is? For me? My mind raced to my x husband and all the damage I caused his heart. These feelings were intertwined with my hurt feelings over what Brendan did to me....the words "Karma" escaped through my lips. Will forgiveness ever overtake my heart? How can I ask forgiveness from the father of my children...the man I spent 16 years with , if I can't walk in it as well? My head hung low. I asked God to help me....just like I do nearly every day. Some days my life choices are way too much for me to handle and I find myself not able to breathe. Am I destined to always have this label? To live this life? Or will I find my true happiness? You know...I used to believe that the only human emotion that mattered was pain. Happiness leaves you at some point. Pain....it never leaves you. You are forever scarred with what painful things you have managed to walk throiugh in your life. As crazy as it sounds these situations mold you into who you are today. I have walked through a lot in my life....and I have survived! I have calmed down a lot and have learned many lessons. I embrace what my life has unfolded to be.....and still I march on ahead. I am on my way to Sacramento to run the California International Marathon - for the 8th time. This will be my 18th marathon and the first time going at it alone. No friends to run with, no husband and children to welcome me at the finish line....no Brendan to hold me after wards. It's perfect. A time to go inward and reflect. I have decided to dedicate each mile to a different person. This will give me something to think about and focus on. I will post the list later.....I'm not going to set any records - just to qualify for Boston. I've qualified for Boston 4 other years and have never gone.....this time I want to. I only have to finish in 3:45......the last time I raced this course I finished in 3:16....plenty of room. I'll post my training as well later....I am at race weight (damn it was hard and I didn';t think I'd make it) but I am at 101.5 pounds. I like to do marathons at no heavier that 102 - it's just how I like to run. I've been eating ZONE - but just less blocks. I feel great! My strength is still there - and even though I an nervous - I feel ready. This week has had a lot of new beginnings for me in it - and I am excited to see where everything leads.......for now it leads me to Sacramento.....RACE ON!!!

Finished Image

This is the edited version of the picture Hill took that I liked the best. What do you think ?

Pin Up Girl Photo Shoot

Last night was a super fun night. My client Brittany has a photographer who was cool enough to shhot me and a friend. We had a blast! My x husbands girlfriend, Julie, did our makeup and she made me look flawless. Thanks Julie! She managed to erase my freckles : ) I'll post a couple more from the shoot. When asked why I wanted to do the shoot I said it's because I'm turning 40 in January - I went through a bad breakup - my confidence is down and I want to feel beautiful......Thanks to Hill, the photographer, I feel a little better.

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Remembering....

So I got a call a while back from B saying he was remembering the good times...like this one when we got lost on a run. I remember it well. We got lost, took a wrong turn. Ended up running almost 6 miles further than expected. Ran out of water. Had zero food. All we could think of was finding the aid station. When we did we practically camped out there and ate everything in site before we continued to the finish. I made him run 24 miles that day...almost a marathon. He did great and we had one of the best times ever. We will never forget that day I'm sure. Weird how times change.. even after hurt affects you, you can still feel the sting of pain, but at the same time have a warmness fill you from thoughts of great times. 3 years was a long time to make memories. Nobody can take those away from us. I still cherish them, always will....and I know even though all that happened, he does to. Strange I know.....but I still care.

A song that speaks to me PERFECTLY...

He broke....my heart
and now it's raining....just don't rub it in
I'm at your door
I feel so crazy 'bout it

You say I told you so
You saw it long ago
You knew he had to go
I finally came around
I'm back on solid ground
Can't let it get me down

It's alright.....it's alright
It's alright
It's alright...it's alright
It's alright

Yes, I was burned
but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
soI call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
soI call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Sometimes some lies
Can take a minute
to fully realize
His tears your heart
30 seconds to apologize

You'll give him one more chance
just like the time before
but he already knows
you'd give a hundred more
Til that night in bed
you wake up in a sweat
you're racing toward the door
Can't take it any more

I was burned
but I called it lesson learned
Mistake overturned
and I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
so I call it a lesson learned

Life perfect aint perfect if you don't know
what the struggles for
falling down aint falling down
if you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past
and I'm getting past
and I aint nothing like I was before

You ought to see me now....

Yes, I was burned
but I call is lesson learned......
Mistake overturned
and I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned.....

My Awesome Roomie

This is Curtis Keene....he is incredible! He races for Specialized in the downhill mountain bike category and is dubbed "The American Dream" . A name that totally suits him. I guess a photographer gave him that nickname and it stuck. I've been reading about his sport, what he does, and checking out the magazine articles and websites, there are a lot of em! He rides and races for a living...I mean...this is what he does for a JOB! He lives a blessed life and is really humble about his talents. Curtis is nothing short of amazing! Seriously....to be a professional athlete takes dedication and talent. The thought of powering down a muddy hill full throttle as fast as you possibly can - over roots, dips, hills, you name it is beyond crazy to me. When I used to do duathlons, I would unclip down the hills and run with my bike! The thought of wiping out is scary to me. I guess I better get over that quick because Curtis and my Specialized clients plan on torturing me on a ride like I torture them at CrossFit. Curtis started CrossFitting with me and Zoning also - so watch out! He's already really great at most of the movements, especially the fast metcon ones...like wall ball! I feel a Karen WOD coming soon for him...also he's incredibly fast on the rower. His time for a 1k and a 500 is the fatsest on the board at Central. Anyway, he got that new toy in the picture a day after he moved in and is finally taking it for a ride today....stoked!! I hope everybody has a great day! Oh yea..weird thing is his name is Keene - mine is Keener.....crazy! Hes an electrition by trade (only 2 months out of the year) and his family owns Keene Electric in Scotts Valley - a place I always drove by and wondered who these Keene people were! Life is great!!

Olympic Weightlifting Cert with Aimee Anaya and Greg Everett In Chico

This past weekend I attended the cert in Chico at CrossFit NorCal hosted by Greg Everett and Aimee Anaya. I was invited as a guest of Aimees and drove up with Eva T. for the weekend. We had a great time and I learned tons of useful cues, and corrections on some of the big lifts like snatching and cleaning. Big thank you to Niki and Rob Wolf and Aimee and Greg and my hero Eva T. One of the profound thoughts of the weekend for me was that I attended as SHARI. Not Brendans girlfriend.....as myself. I was a seperate entity at a CrossFit event hosted with people Brendan and I knew as a couple and although it was a little different at first, I quickly relaxed and was just myself. Thank God for Eva T. She speaks truth to me and when I feel a moment of weakness, I call her. When you are stuck in a situation and can't see out (I call it the black hole) you need somebody close to you to throw you a lifeline. Eva is that person for me. She threw me a rope several times this past weekend and pulled me out of the dark cave. Thanks Eva. I love you....my guardian angel.

Paint Ball Fun Day

Brandon and I went paint balling in the SC mountains with my awesome client Chris and his son Jack a while back and had a great time! I loved the feeling of being able to shoot people without hurting them, and running, ducking and hiding so I don't get taken out! Brandon had fun and even though he was a little apprehensive at first, loosened up when he realized Chris was covering him. Chris was awesome! He let us use his fast equipment and watched out for Brandon the entire time... More fun days ahead I'm sure

Food For Thought....

"What he said is that love is like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don't receive your daily doses of love ? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses. He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn't love, who only takes advantage of the one who gives his or her heart. You can see the way they manipulate eachother, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict."

Mastery of Love.....

Chris H!!!

My new client Chris H. I ADORE this man. He's an accomplished runner who was sponsored by Asics and competed around the world in events ranging from World Championships to the IronMan in Hawaii. The bottom picture is Chris taking 2nd place OVERALL at the IronMan in Hawaii. The car driving next to him is NBC Sports recording him on his run. He's an amzing runner, athlete and great person as well. We're going paint balling this weekend with our kids to have a good time. Brandon is excited to shoot a gun,,,,and it'll be fun to enjoy with a new friend.

Joe Buckley

aka BUCK - he's my M, W F 5am guy and a total bad ass to say the least. He works out with his wife, Jen, who I'll post soon and Ian. There is pretty much nothing short of intense to describe Buck. He works for Specialized and tests mountain bikes for a living. He rides hard and strong and took first place at the Sea Otter Classics downhill slolum course this year. Buck came to me around 1.5 years ago not aboe to perform a good squat, but quickly hit all the movements with ease and continues to amaze the people around him with his strength. He competed at the CrossFit games this past year and did so well, he even beat many others in his heat. He beat a lot of guys in the run, who I thought would actually come in front of him just because of his absolute HATE for running - but there's one thing about Buck - He brings EVERYTHING he has to each and every workout. I swear, I don't think he's ever mellowed out since I started training him! He's got muscle ups, handstand pushups, crazy deadlift strength and can snatch like nobody's business. He and his wife Jen make up a "Power Couple" and they are a force to watch out for. I'm going to talk them into competing at the Games again this upcoming year - so look for them. They are training hard and heavy every session and have plenty of air...It's easy for me to wake up at 4am just because i know I'm going to a gym to train some crazy bad asses who never complain, and who chase perfection....every single time!!

Mary The Principal!!

This is one of my eary morning 5am ers Mary. She just happens to be my son Brandons principal at middle school.....and she rocks! Mary does triathlons and climbed Mt. Whitney recently and plans to go back for a second go at it soon. She pushes hard every class and even though she hates to go heavy - I make her and she always meets the demands I put before her. She once said to me "man..we're crazy for coming here at 5am and waking up at 4 these days!" I responded...."you're not crazy...just dedicated!" And so it goes with Mary....dedicated to her workouts and to all the kids at the SV Middle School. I trust her completely to watch over my son while he's there....plus it's a bonus to know if he got into any trouble during the day!! ;)

Ian Chambers

This is another amazing client - Ian Chambers. He is a chiropractor at healing Waves in Santa Cruz and I had the chance to see him last week for an adjustment and let me say - it was probably the BEST I have ever had! He uses a very gently approach unlike any other chiro I have gone to in the past - which was refreshing. After leaving his office I felt more centered, like my body was actually in alignment for the first time. He used electrodes to test each vertabrae for muscle tightness and seems that every single muscle in my back was lit up! I know I have major problems with my c5 (upper neck area) and this just confirmed it. Anyway he's amazing - go see him! As far as training him - I love it! He pushes really hard every session and always moves well. Dream client to say the least!! More about Ian soon. Plus he's a runner so he already has a special place in my heart because of that!!

Oldie But Goodie....

From CrossFit San Diego when I went there for a visit....great workout!!

From "CrossFit Fire" website.....

"Bill and I had the pleasure of attending a CrossFit Running & Endurance Certification over the weekend. The certification covered the basics of running using the "Pose" method. CrossFit Chicago hosted the cert, and it was an absolute blast! Brian MacKenzie, Carl Borg and Shari Keener were all there to instruct, critique, coach and push us when our bodies were aching. In their defense, Carl DID warn us that we would be VERY sore. I honestly had no idea I had such bad running form until this weekend. I always knew running was my kryptonite, but at least now I know how to make it better. Here is a summary of what I learned this weekend:

1. Running is WAY more complicated than just putting on a cute outfit, tying your shoes and hitting the street
2. With enough skills & drills even the worst runner (me) can improve their technique
3. Slow motion running videos are almost as unflattering as slow motion jump rope videos, but not quite
4. I have muscles in my legs/feet that I didn't even know existed
5. The muscles I didn't know existed are sissies, and need to be worked more often
6. All your beautiful new running form will turn into a painful limp the Monday after a running certification
7. Shari Keener is the hottest CrossFitting woman on the planet!

To explain #7...has anyone seen a woman with about 6% body fat? I haven't until this weekend. We can add Shari's pictures to the list of pictures to show women when they talk about being afraid of "bulking up" from CrossFitting.

Oh my GOD...I love this girl....not only is she funny as all HELL, but her energy is through the roof to say the least! I enjoyed meeting everybody - especially HER!!