The Beginning Shots

This is what I looked like when I started just 2 weeks ago....do I look any different? I wasnt fat or anything to begin with.....compare and let me know what you see...

The Almost Final Product

I have 3 days to go when these were taken......Karen says I can have a little fat on Saturday morning and I just about screamed!! I also can have a lean cut of steak today at Meal 3. I dont feel like I look too different, but she assures me that I do. I guess we'll see if any of this starvation way of eating paid off come Saturday afternoon. I am sure that I dont get to eat too much Saturday. Wish me luck - Im almost done

After Week One

Here are a few pictures after 6 days on the diet. As soon as I find the first pictures we took Ill post them. I started at 107 pounds, and when these were taken I weighed 102 pounds. My coach said that my waist has come down, my legs have tightened up as did my glutes. I can't tell, but if you put the pics side by side I can see more definition all over my body. Hoping the next pictures we take, probably Tuesday will look even more tight. My suit should arrive Tuesday as well..... this is a trip to me :) But it's an experience!!!

August 6

Yesterday I started to really feel the depletion occurring in my body. I weighed myself at 4am like every morning and the scale said 101.5 - I told Karen I'd easily weigh less than 100 pounds by the time the 15th rolled around. She assures me I only have a little farther to go before we start putting glucose back into my body along with minimal fat - so just "hang on". She took pictures of me posing in the same bikini this morning around 6am, so I will post them as soon as she sends them to me. She said my legs and waist have come down, which is what we were trying to achieve - thank God - but I don't get any almond butter just yet. Hmmmpphh!! I was a little pissed when she told me that.

My son and I went to Whole Foods yesterday for lunch. I got about a cup and a half of spinach and 4 ounces of chicken drizzled with balsamic vinegar, while Brandon ate a protein bar and drank some root beer hey, hes a kid and it was his treat). I watched him chew every bite and drink every sip. He walked through the store with me and I touched every thing that I wanted to consume. Then it hit me - this must be what anorexics feel every day of their life with the disease. I got it. I understand that head space of wanting something but restricting it completely from yourself. Man, I tell ya it was an eye opener. I have to be careful to keep a grip on my reality and not develop an eating disorder....I can see how it would be extremely easy to do. My son is so rad - he understands that I am doing this with a goal in mind - short term, and that its for a purpose. I do not think I am fat. He let me touch the baked breads and squeeze them in their cellophane wrappers, open the bakery case and take a huge whiff of the warm cookies inside, slowly stroll every isle while in my imagination I ate everything that appealed to me. The mind is a powerful organ because I totally feel full when I do this little exercise. Sometimes I even feel like I have actually eaten everything I imagined, and feel compelled to call Karen to confess. SICK!! After about 15 minutes of this aimless wandering invisible food consumption, my sweet son took me by the hand and said "okay mom - thats enough. Its time to go now." And to the car we walked. Then the crying started. I just want to eat!!! Why the fuck can't I eat what I want to eat? Who the HELL is she to tell me I can't have what I want?! What does this fuckin competition mean anyways!? Its stupid! I probably won't even place - I'm not even a fitness model!! WHAT DOES IT MATTER!!?? My head rested on the steering wheel and I just let it out. I was furious, frustrated, exhausted, angry...I was HUNGRY!! I am not poor. I am not lost in the wilderness with nothing edible around me. I'm not on that damn show "Survivor". I have food all around me. My cupboards are overflowing with food. Delicious food. All I have to do is open the cupboard, pull something out, and stick it in my fucking mouth. That's it! Sigh ---except....... I don't do things half ass and I am NOT a quitter. I finish what I start, no matter how ridiculous it is to anybody else. I want to know that I put 100% in and tried my very best, no matter what it is. Sooo, I wiped my tears with my son patting me on the back. He told me "its okay mom - you're almost there. Stay strong!" That just made me cry even more :) But it gave me the support that I needed to pull myself together. I have never gone through anything so physically tough in my whole life. I went through drug withdrawals and they didn't feel this uncomfortable.

We continued on to the mall and went shopping. Everything I tried on didn't fit. The size 0 's in American Eagle I could pull the jeans off my body while they were zipped and buttoned. Shit! I asked if they had any Double 00's in, but they didn't. I cracked up as I asked because they must think I'm a freakin meth addict or something. Whatever -

Karen said that next Wednesday I get to add some fruit and some fat to my diet. Thank God....I haven't had any fruit since last Wednesday....a week ago.

Meal 1- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces chicken, vit b, multi, vit c, muscle strength

Meal 2- 4 ounces turkey, 2.5 ounces sweet potatoes, vit b, multi, Omegas, vit c

**fat burner on empty stomach, train 30 min after taking it**

Meal 3- 4 ounces chicken, 1 cup spinach uncooked, balsamic vinegar on top

Meal 4- 4 ounces Halibut

Meal 5- 4 ounces chicken breast, 1 cup asparagus

Meal 6- 4 ounces Halibut

Sound yummy?? I cannot use any oil to cook or on the veggies so everything is extremely bland. No sat. No oil. No flavor! The chicken is poached in a little water. The fish has a little of lemon juice on it for moisture. That's it. Yesterday I got to eat 10 almonds and I savored every crunch. My teeth feel like they haven't been used in a long time.

Here's the weird thing - I am getting stronger. I'm sure it's because of the extra protein I am taking in - 24 Zone blocks a day.

I performed 6 dead hang L pullups with zero kip, toes straight in the air with ZERO momentum. I did 7 handstand pushups with top of head to the floor and full extension at the top. We did "Lynne" today and as prescribed I bench pressed my bodyweight (who cares that its only 101#) and did chest to bar deadhang pullups. The highest number bench was 5 reps. My old 3 rep PR was 95#, today I did the whole workout at 102#. My energy level is a little low, but at least I am not loosing strength. Please wish me luck and I'll continue to write about my experience. I feel sorta like an undercover journalist in this whole adventure. I will NEVER do this again, that's for sure!! Thanks for reading :)

Pre Contest Day 4

Today started to get difficult with this whole food restriction thing, that I started to do exactly what Karen said would happen - fantasize about Food Porn. I stood in front of the bakery display case in Whole Foods drooling over the cupcakes, cookies, chocolate dipped strawberries, delicious baked goods that looked like little perfectly wrapped presents. I imagined myself holding something tasty in my hands, how it felt as it touched my lips and tongue...the pleasure Id feel as it slid down my throat. People musta felt I was completely nuts! Watching this woman in lala land not saying a word, not ordering.....just staring. LOL! As soon as I felt full (in my mind), I left the bakery - walked over to the fish monger and ordered 1 pound of Halibut for dinner and 3 snacks tomorrow, loaded 2 sweet potatoes, a bunch of spinach, 2 bunches of asparagus , steel cut oats, and tons of water into my cart. I drove home and for a second I felt like I cheated on my diet! HOW SICK IS THAT!!?? Seriously, I have mad respect for these ladies who do this to themselves for months out of the year. They also scare me because of how much it tweeks with your self image. I consider myself to be a self disciplined woman, I have motivation, drive, and focus. When I want something - I get it. I was asked to compete in tis competition so I decided why not go for it 100% ?? Why do it half ass?? So, that being said, I am giving myself over to this diet even though I know its crazy. I figure I'll post about it so you all know what it feels like to be dieting like a fitness competitor before a show. I tell you - its absolutely crazy!

My daughter baked some brownies last night. As soon as I smelled the aroma in the house, I screamed at her. "What the hell are you doing??" I retired to my room around 7pm and there I stayed with a towel covering the opening under the door frame so I couldn't be tempted. I know its extreme - but I didn't give in :)

I understand that I am not fat, or need to loose any weight - trust me. But the goal here is to suck out all the extra in my muscles so that they show more. Its a little more scientific than that, but hey - without any extra fat in my diet I can't think too intelligently. :)

Here's my day in a nutshell:

weight at 4:00am 103#

Meal 1- 1/3 cup oats, 4 ounces chicken breast

Meal 2- 2.5 ounces sweet potato, 4 ounces turkey breast. Multi vitamin, vit c, vit b, omegas

**train CrossFit** 800 meter run, 30 sit ups, 40 double unders, 20 pushups x4 =32:58 (alt row w runs)

Meal 3- 1 cup asparagus, 4 ounces chicken breast

Meal 4- 4 ounces Halibut, more vitamins, Omegas

Fat Burner
** Walk on treadmill at 12% grade, for 50 minutes....covered 3.5 miles**

Meal 5- 3 ounces chicken breast, 1 cup broccoli, 10 almonds

Meal 6- 3 ounces Halibut

Bed at 8:45 pm.......now you see why Im having food porn?? lol.....

Gary turned me on to this book "Dialogue With Death" by Eknath Easwaram....if you get a chance, read it. This line stood out to me today, and I was reminded of several individuals in my life who have PRANA. Some in abundance.

"Fire is a perfect symbol for Prana, the fire of life itself, because where prana is abundant, there IS fire - intense enthusiasm, vitality, drive, resoluteness, the capacity to see something through right to the end without being distracted from the goal. Those who have this kind of fire can achieve anything they choose."

My New Adventure Has Begun...

I have a new client, Karen, who competes in figure competitions. She is truly amazing and when she's show ready, she looks like an anatomy book! Every muscle is defined, her waist is teeny tiny, her legs are dynamic....she looks incredible! Last week out of the blue I was asked to compete in a figure competition myself....at first I said "No way! " But then Karen coaxed me into doing it, more on the bikini side than the figure side and she said she'd coach me through to the competition. I have 2 weeks to get show ready, so everything I have learned about eating for performance has gone out the window. I am now eating to shrink down fat, pop those muscles out, and basically starve!! :) I do NOT recommend doing this to anybody - its HARD and I swear I dont know how Karen does it over and over again. I will be blogging about my experience for the next 2 weeks, along with pictures so everybody can follow me on this crazy goal of mine. Karen took bikini photos of me on Thursday and sent them to her coach for advice on what I need to do to better my physique. The coach came back with "her waist and legs need to come down. She has abs which is great, needs to train more shoulders." WOW!! Umm, I weigh maybe at the heaviest part of the day 107 and I wear a size 0...smaller?!! REALLY!!?? So, over the next 2 weeks that is my goal - shrink the waist, tighten the legs up (I have the CrossFit thighs and ass - which I love...and don't want to loose) and get my muscles tp pop.

Heres the diet Karen has me on. Please dont e mail me with how bad this is, or how off balance it is. I already know that. Again, this is for a short time, 2 weeks, and its with a goal in mind.

Saturday: weight 107#

Meal1-2 hardboiled eggs, 1 cup strawberries, half cup blueberries
(this meal was before I had what Karen wanted me to eat...)

XFIT & RUN WALK 50 MINUTES

Meal 2- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces salmon

Meal 3- 2.5 ounces sweet potatoe, 4 ounces deli turkey

Meal 4- 4 ounces turkey breast, 1/2 cup spinach

Meal 5- 4 ounces salmon, 1/2 cup spinach

Meal 6- 4 ounces turkey breast, 1/2 cup spinach


SUNDAY weight 105#

Meal 1- 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 4 ounces chicken breast. multi vitamin, vit B, vit c, Omegas

Meal 2- 2.5 ounces sweet potato, 4 ounces chicken breast, vitamins

Meal 3- 1 cup spinach, 4 ounces turkey breast

RUN WALK 50 MINUTES (take fat burner before, run on empty stomach)

Meal 4- 4 ounces white fish

Meal 5- 4 ounces white fish, 1 cup asparagus

Meal 6- 4 ounces white fish , vitamins.

Its HARD to eat zero carbs pretty much, and ZERO FAT!!! Im on day 2 and keeping strong though.....Wish me luck! Ill post the pics...I lost 2 pounds opvernight and Im worried that Im going to weigh 100 pounds by the time 2 weeks is up!! Karen assurs me that wont happen. Especially with the extra protein Im taking in. She know what shes doing , so I choose to trust her. I gag down the fish though - fuckin GROSS-

Wharf to Wharf Race

Sunday was the Wharf to Wharf 6 miler race that happens to run right in front of my house on Portola, all the way through to Capitola. My job was to sit on the corner and count how many men were in front of my client/friend as he raced. He was shooting for a top 100 finish (if you arent the top 100 your time isnt recorded and you dont get a awesome race sweatshirt). My son, Chris' son Jack and myself sat there, coffee in hand, along with many neighbors and cheering spectators waiting to see Chris. We counted 130 men in front of him, shouted the number to him as he whizzed by then tried to pick other clients out of the crowd. This race and I have many years of bad luck. I have never actually raced it - Ive had my number 3 different years with the intent to, but every year I've either gotten the flu, back thrown out, or last year my bouyfriend at the time was just being difficuly and decided to be a jerk race morning - so I watched from the corner last year as well. This year I was more than happy to cheer, my ankle being sore has kept me from running fast for a week as it heals.

I am so proud of Chris! He finished in 36 minutes and some change and I am always amazed at what an incredible athlete he is. His form is perfection, and he just seems to float!

The otjher pics are of the Kenyans who of course won the race, and check out the fast woman! Wow - she was incredible for me to watch! I get chills and goosebumps watching fast runners....it made it even better because my house is at the 3 mile marker and the half way point.....telling my clients "your half way there!!" over and over again was fun!

Shari and Vic at the Games..

The Games

I got to meet my CrossFit Crush today and I was so excited to get pictures taken with him!! Vic Zachary from CrossFit Bayou in Texas. He's an amazing athlete and his girlfriend is one lucky woman!! Of course it was always fun to meet up with Jen from Jen's Gym, and Chris Spealer...but meeting Joe from CrossFit Milford was the coolest! I took a picture a while back doing backsquats in pink booty shorts - he copied the idea and took a pic wearing the same style pink booty shorts and tall black socks. Jason Leydon posted the pic in honor of me and it made my day! Meeting Joe today in person had me cracking up because hes a big man and picturing him in tight short shorts was hilarious! He mentioned thay his affiliate team initially wore skirts to compete on Friday, but with Jasons urging to change they did. Rats! That would have been impressive I'm sure :)

busy Sunday!!

Today I have a photo shoot, and have to read the script for the movie I'm playing a vampire in.....hopefully get to the Games at some point as well. I love busy days!!!

CrossFit Games Are Here!!!

CrossFit Santa Cruz Central did an amazing job fighting for the Affiliate Cup. Annie, Tara, Dwane, Skip, Rob and Michelle all gave everything they had and the competition was tough. They came in 11th place and rocked it!!!

My Favorite Spot in the World

The track! Its a love affair I've had for years that went astray for a few years. I have started to hit the track again 3 times a week or more if my schedule permits and I cannot tell you how it makes me feel. If I am having a rough day, or feeling anything other than relaxed after I put my track shoes on, kneel down and touch the track everything goes away. Most people do not understand that feeling - only my dear client and best friend Chris understands what that feels like......If I miss a lift at the gym, or don't hit a workout hard enough or aren't satisfied with my performance I know that if I go to the track I will crush it and I will feel better. It is in my blood, and it's something I can do that most people cannot or dont want to do.



Tonight:

1 mile (4 laps) warm up jog
stretch
2 laps stride straights, jog turns

2x 200 meters at 5k race pace followed by 200 jog
2x 800 at 10k race pace followed by 400 jog
2x 200 at 5k race pace followed by 200 jog
*1 lap jog after each 800

4 laps cool down jog and stretch
TOTAL 5 1/4 miles


Last night:

1 mile warm up jog
stretch
2 laps stride straights jog turns

1200 meters at 10k race pace
800 meters 10 seconds faster mile pace
400 meters 10 seconds faster
with 400 jog straights/walk turns between each repeat.

REPEAT set from 800 meter

4 laps cool down jog and stretch

TOTAL 5 3/4 miles

Monterey Fun Weekend

Went to Monterey and got drunk wine tasting with Gary. We met these chicks at the Bargetto Winery - her last name was Swallows!! Man we had some laughs together at that one for hours....hahah....then the drinking went to dinner and Um, don't remember much after that - but Im sure it was a blast! I haven't had a free day like that in a while....it was much needed. I have a blast with Gary - we laugh a lot and just have an amazing time together. I've missed having fun times like that. Not since my marriage have I gotten along so well with a man. Super fun!!

Bliss

Warm ups...

The attendees at the CrossFit Endurance Run Cert in Toronto Canada a few weekends ago....amazing athletes there and they all did so great! Can't wait to see you all again!!

Mark and Jeff

My Canadian friends Jeff and Mark doing some lifting at break time during the Run Cert....Amazing box Jeff has there Konker Fitness and Mark is from CrossFit Niagara.....

Can't wait to lift with you guys!!! Then we get pancakes

The Cousins

Jesse, Aaron, Brandon and Sarah. These are my cousin Lisa's boys with my kiddos. I was at Jesses birth and Lisa was at my kids births...Aaron just turned 18 and graduated high school. He is an amazing surfer whos going pro and just a great man. He turned out to be such a caring, smart, responsible HAPPY man. I am proud of him!! We hung out yesterday to celebrate his accomplishments and get the family together.....great day!!

Sunny Perfect Weekend in SC!!

It was a perfect weekend in SC....I have been sooo busy with a lot going on in my life...soo many great things I have to catch up! I have been traveling for CrossFit Endurance - went to Toronto Canada to see Mark Gleason and Jeff where I was in charge of giving the nutrition lecture for the first time. It went great and people asked a lot of questions. I was a little nervous, but thanks to Carl and Mark and Jeff by the time I was actually in Canada I wasn't nervous at all! I had a blast with Carl and getting to hang out with him - we are just like brother and sister it's crazy. Canada was gorgeous and the people there were very warm and welcoming. Mark drove us around and took us to breakfast and dinner even though there was a crazy storm that lit up the skies. Crazy weather there - its sunny and hot then around 6pm the storm comes out and shit starts falling off the buildings because of the wind. By the time we got out of the restaurant, it was beautiful again.

I took Tuckers gymnastics cert a few weekends ago and I learned a ton! Thanks to Tucker for being such an amazing coach...Im planning on invading him in Texas for some one on one coaching sometime.

These are pictures from the beautiful day in SC today. JEALOUS???

I Love This Picture!!!

Carl Borg, myself, and BMack in Chicago after a WOD....I love traveling with these guys :)

Quote of the Day...

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
-Theodore Roosevelt

This one is taken from CrossFit East Decatur.....check out their box...!!!