Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Quote of the Day...

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure…than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
-Theodore Roosevelt

This one is taken from CrossFit East Decatur.....check out their box...!!!

Just a little neurotic!!

This is Neile, a Zone client of mine....her scientific approach to exact measurements for the Zone chili recipe I gave her. Amazing stuff.....

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Watch this Video...

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Today started off the wrong way. As soon as the alarm went off at 4am and my feel flung onto the carpet I was off and running - my mind racing - and my heart heavy. I can't even tell you why I was feeling the way I was - maybe it was a mixture of several things weighing on my mind and my heart - either way, I was down. I had to be perky for my 5am clients, because they are my heros. If they can drag ass outta a warm bed to do hard CrossFit workouts, they deserve nothing but the best in a trainer = so I pushed on. Put my mask on, smiled big - encouraged them in their movements, all the while a lump in my throat. Tearm just under the surface....ready to blow. I got my chance to workout at 8am andf the WOD was "nancy." A hard one for me because of the overhead squats....I did it anyway. Around round 3 something in me snapped. My thoughts fixed on everything I suck at in I am NOT where I want to I am NOT the person I want to be!!! Entertwined that with the toughness of the workout and finally my bodys aches and pains caught up with the pain I had in my heart. The tears started to fall. Thank God for my amazing CrossFit. Skip and Rob saw my face and I guess they knew I was anywhere but here in the present and I was in a battle .....they finished the last run with me - encouraging me. Skip said "this is nothing have felt pain before...push through just like you always do Shari."as we ran side by side. I finished the workout - not fast, but a pr for me. Better was the support I got and the exorcism I had during the workout.

I am thankful for my CrossFit Family. They have come through for me more than my blood family at most times....and they know me. They can see when I need them and they reach out to catch me when I fall and give me their strength when I have none of my own to muster up.

Then a few hours later I got a random e mail from an angel -Ben. His words were like surgical sutures on my heart....words he spoke to me healed me.....amazing.

I even met a stranger who by her appearance I saw people hurry away from her....she walked right up to me as if she were seeing something written over my head and spewed out these words of psychic abilities....I embraced her.

There are signs all around us...and everytime I have been at a low in my heart I can see them more clearly it seems. I think God knows that I feel as though I am being poured out like a drink offering and I am running on empty - much like a hamster in a wheel.....I need to be filled up. I don't get that much....I have to give it to myself. These people touched my life today and made a difference in my heart....right when I needed to be filled up.

Who will you fill up today??

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fear Is YOur Biggest Motivator. Without Fear --- You Aren't Nothing Anyway."

Brave New Voices

Trust is a Gift Few People Are Worthy To Receive." Britney Wilson

Trust is a gift few people are worth to receive
so Ive learned to not give it freely
but the doctor says, I have no choice.
I stand alone
with assistance
Hard for me to express myself
because I cant protect myself if Im exposed.
The loneliness would swallow me
The ignorance makes me want to break some kneecaps
so they can feel my pain
This sticks and stones society bruises me every day
Sore -but still kicking.
I dont have time to be that bleeding animal in the middle of the road
waiting for people to stop staring
and see ME

Monday, April 20, 2009

Im Giving Life its Hard Knocks BACK!!!

by Jon Gilson of

As a child, you can do anything. The future is an unwritten story, unencumbered by the fetters of harsh reality. Belief is easy to come by, as simple as hearing or seeing. Potential is infinite, and always given its due.

As we get older, living is no longer an exercise in blind faith. Doubt creeps in, and skepticism finds its way into our minds. The world gives us our knocks, and with each blow, the bounds of reality narrow. The vernacular of the impossible impregnates our speech and infects our actions, until we stay with the safe, the pleasant, and the known, afraid to push back against the unfamiliar and the difficult.

This unfortunate evolution leaves us unsure of our abilities, scared to display incompetence and unwilling to attempt the unknown. Terrified of another hard knock, we display only those traits with known rewards and certain payoffs. We become small and weak as the chains of doubt weave themselves into our lives.
We cannot conquer frustration by quitting, nor defeat the unknown with doubt.

Every time you grab a barbell or strap on a weight vest, you have the opportunity to reverse this disastrous course. Instead of succumbing to the gravity of your misgivings, you can take heart in your potential. You can push back against the pain, secure in the knowledge that every failure can be remedied, every misstep righted. With a piece of cold rolled steel, you can crush the virus of inadequacy beneath your heel.

We don’t trade in exercise. We trade in the idea that your potential is exactly what you believe it to be. Squats, pull-ups and levers are merely tools, a chance to show the world that it is wrong, its lessons flawed. We cannot conquer frustration by quitting, nor defeat the unknown with doubt. Meekness can never be rewarded, and with every clash, we scream this message.

I’ve seen athletes perform the impossible, heaving against every fiber of their being, a living war cry in the face of adversity. They overcome through sheer exertion of will, shattering the fallacy of the immovable object by becoming the unstoppable force. These athletes come from a thousand different places, unique only in their refusal to accept the world’s false constraints. They choose to believe in their own capacity for greatness, and they are rewarded.

Belief is a place where the irrational exuberance of childhood finds new life, where the burden of the past is shed in favor of the promise of the future. Belief is a chance to give all the hard knocks back, to free ourselves to become anything. Stop wondering if you can, and know that achievement is as simple as trying, over and over again.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Beach Day for Shari!!!

Finally - a beautiful sunny, hot weekend for me to enjoy. I still have work to get done, but I managed to sneak away both days to read at my little beach at the end of my street. I was supposed to have a visitor this weekend, but plans changed - it opened me up to do the Santa Cruz Half Marathon race this morning....which turned out great! Im waiting for the results to get posted because I'm pretty certain I placed in my division. After the race I came home to eat and clean up - and headed back to the beach where I soaked up the rays for a few hours.....we live in the best place !! I got on my cruiser and went for a ride to the point to hang out with some friends and check out the scenery ;) It was a perfect weekend for me - the only thing missing is a man by my side. I know that will come when I least expect it - I spend a lot of my time alone and it used to really make me it seems as though I am used to it. I don't know yet if thats a good thing to get used to or not! My housemate and I are having a BBQ tonight and a lot of friends will be here - Im excited about that and have to hurry to get my work completed so I can fully relax.

I hope everybody enjoyed their weekend as much as I did. Say a prayer for me that I find my king.....I was made to be part of a team - it's my hearts desire. :)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

If I asked you a would you answer it??

Are you a good person? Have you done selfless acts for another human? Maybe somebody you don't even know. When somebody was in need, did you extend your hand to help them out? Doesn't have to be with a financial assistance - what about an emotional assistance? Have you ever befriended the friendless? Let me ask you this....what do you think people will say about you at your funeral? What is the legacy you leave behind in this world, and is it one that you feel proud of, or cringe at the thought? Are you a good person even when you don't think people are watching you??

I am in a very good place in my life right now and am very happy. Content is the word I used in my last post.....but I often like to sit and reflect on myself as a person and take inventory - emotional inventory of my life and think about if I am living the way I want to be living? Money, things, status....all that fades - it really doesn't matter at all when you are laying on your death bed. My pastor once said that the thought you will have most in your last moments isn't- "man I wish I had bought that fast sportscar!" But more along the lines of, "I wish I had spent more time with my family."

We as humans have developed this ME FIRST mentality to our lives and we have become more depressed, unhappy people because of it! Depression, suicide, divorce, obesity all of those ailments have steadily increased through the years and we have gotten more and more selfish also. Selfish with our money, our stuff but mostly our TIME. What ever happened to reading books with your children at bedtime? Or visiting your grandmother and sharing a cup of coffee and a slice of some treat for an afternoon? Or what about the friend who is going through a hard time in her life and needs a friend? I will be the first to admit that I have been on a fast paced whirlwind and my time has become such a precious comodity that my relationships that matter the most to me have taken the back seat lately. It eats at my soul. Easter was an eye opening day for me. Why? Because I got to spend time with my family - children, father, grandmother, aunts and uncles - and I realized just how much their presence in my life matters! Slowing down and soaking up moments in time - isn't that what living an abundant life is all about? Every time I hang out with my grandmother I feel like somehow I leave a better person.....isn't that crazy?? By giving of myself to another I reap the benefits!! LOL....selfish outcome, with an very unselfish intent. My pastor used to say , "If you're having a bad day....walk out of your house, lock the door and go help somebody else." If we all did that think of how much we could change thew world!! Okay, think of how much we could change our private worlds.

I used to be a very giving, loving, kind hearted person. I have given of myself emotionally, physically and monetarily for friends, relatives, and strangers a lot. I've donated time to my church, food shelters, and went door to door in Beach Flats with groceries to feed the poor - I started a school supplies outreach for the beach flats community children to give each child there everything they need to have a great year at school. I've helped the elderly at convelesent hospitals by reading with them, playing games with them and just caring about them. When a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer I started juicing homeopathic remedies for her every day and would help her get out of bed everyday....the point I am making is I GAVE OF MYSELF UNSELFISHLY.

Then I made a mistake with a decision that changed my life situation and it changed my heart. It hardened me. It made me defensive, closed off to others, rude, hurtful, self seeking, and above all sad. I started to take the important things in life for granted. I was blinded and forgot who I was. The mistake has been corrected and I am on my way back to who I really am in my heart. I will never take for granted the people in my life that matter the most.....or the little things in life that give me such joy......that feed my soul. When I was at a low point in my life where I felt like opening my eyes another day seemed like such a hard concept I wrote a list.....a list of things I would miss if I never opened my eyes again. Here's a few items from that list...

-listening to Sarah laugh so hard that her head gets tossed back and and her entire body shakes.
-laying on my bed with my daughter watching comedians laughing so hard we cry and hearing her say,"mom...we have the same laugh."
-my sons sweet frekles that kiss the bridge of his nose and knowing that he got them from me.
-The sound of the rain pelting on the window in the middle of the night.
-Hearing my son say "You're the greatest mom in the world."
-running on a perfectly leaf lined trail in the crisp air in Nisene
-The day when Randy said "I forgive you."
-watching my amazing clients succeed and reach their goals
-smiling so hard your face aches
-smelling the ocean air at 4am on my doorstep
-crashing waves
-making a friends life easier
-being scared of something but doing it anyway....

By writing these things I changed. I had something to hold on to. Now my list is so much bigger! I have many things to be grateful for and I hope I inspire you to make your own list. Give the best gift you can - give of yourself! Let me remind you of the questions....

Are you a good person even when you think nobody is watching?? How do you want to be remembered??
I can answer those questions.....what about you??
Oh - do yourself a the movie "Seven Pounds" and open your heart and your mind to the message.....

Okay, Im done with my rant....

Remember - you can't play with peoples lives.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Yesterdays workout was a fun one - but I would have had way more fun if Gary worked out WITH me instead of shooting pictures of me working out!! This is me warming up for "D.T" 12 deadlifts, 9 hang power cleans, 6 push jerks. x5 rounds....Im not the best at jerking because of my screwed up neck, so I always have to go lighter or suffer the migranes. I guess the 95# wasn't light enough, because I woke up all night feeling like my head would be better off severed from my body! Guess the disk problem isn't magically repairing itself, damn!

Then I did CrossFit Endurance workout:

90 on/ 1 minute off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 15 sec off
90 on/ 30 sec off
90 on/ 45 sec off
90 on/ DONE.
Started with a 2 mile warm up - then hit this HARD was breathless the entire sprints. Then finished with a 1 mile cool down. Total was 5.3 miles

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Beautiful SunnyCove Beach...

Santa Cruz is simply THE best place to live...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My Life is Incredible!!!

So many amazing great random things have happened for me in my life in the past 4 months that I don't know where to start. For the first time in my life I am content. I don't have anybody to rely on but myself for my happiness or for whatever pat on the back I may be seeking. all situations...I believe that I am there..or at least one foot in the door. I am Single for the first time in 19 years, and you know what - I am completely happy. It was difficult at first - Im not denying that at all. Especially with the circumstances that made me single and the betrayal that happened, and all that encompassed that part of my life. I was still wrapped up in "what could have been" up until the end of January. Then after Brendan showed me who he was for the last time I chose to believe him and recognize him for the selfish prick that he truly is - and detach from him and lock him out of my life for good. It was the best thing that could have happened for me. They say that everything happens for a reason, and I lived my life believing that - not always liking it - but believing it for the good things and the bad matter how painful or confusing the situation. Brendan leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I have grown as a woman like I never would have had he stayed and continued to suck the life out of me. I have had amazing times with my children, my ex husband Randy and I have started to define a new relationship with each other. We even went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and that never would have happened had I not seen through his eyes the hurt that I caused him - was like what Brendan caused me. Karma is a bitch. I am surrounded by completely incredible people in my life and they all play a huge role in building my character as a human. I have started to say "yes" to things that come my way, instead of automatically saying "I dont have time" , and because of that I have met THE best people!!! Tod and Neon are just a couple people who randomly entered my life and opened all sorts of doors and opportunities for me. I took a chance - got on a plane to meet a man I didn't know, never met, and knew nothing about other than the emails we exchanged, and the pictures I saw. I wasn't scared once and I knew it was going to be an amazing experience and it was!! He is incredible!! Junker Designs...check it out!! Have you ever been around somebody that you just felt "I am in the presence of greatness..." well - that's him. He's filled with talent that I can't even fathom. I enjoy his friendship...and he's helping me start business #2....also trippy is his birthday is January 28, 1968 --- I am January 29, 1969...I ended up having so much fun In LA seeing a part of life that I never have - now he's coming to my town for a visit and Im going to show him CrossFit, my beach, talk business and just run around with our hair on fire...(well, my hair, his dreds) If I didn't allow myself the freedom to say Yes, I never would have met him. Neon is equally amazing and Ill write about her some other time....

I know I am rambling - but it's just that I am so filled with new things that have opened for me that I want to try and get it all down!!! I finally feel like I am ME again. Not trying to please a man who was critical and judgmental of me - unaccepting of my children and of my dreams.

My friends have all commented on how they feel like they are meeting Shari for the first time and I guess it sorta feels that way - shes been a little dormant, but Im back now - and there's nothing holding me back.

I started business #1 Meals Rx....I am a real company recognized by California - I am trademarked, and getting franchised. Tod will be making our company logo and I already have 5 states that want to start up a Meals Rx in their community. Its incredibly time consuming work - but it's mine. I created this. Nobody else. It's something that if we take care of it - it will take care of us and me and the children can develop the company to be as huge as we want... Watching Sarah and Brandon take pride in helping is priceless to me! Meals are selling out both in Santa Cruz and in Newport and is linked off of several websites and in one day I got over 100 hits!! Better than all of that I get to work with one of my favorite men on the planet as a bonus!!

I am filled with gratitude. I have had so many sad, hard, pain filled days that I wondered when they would ever go away - and I wondered when I would be able to smile when I lay my head down at night instead of cry. Well - everything happens for a reason, and I had to go through all of that crap so that I could reach this place I stand in right now. I can look you in the eyes and say with all that I am - I am a strong woman! I will never give up! No situation or person can keep me down! I can dream big and I CAN do everything that I set my mind to...

That's my rant....if I sound puffed up or self righteous, Im sorry - but if you take the time to look back on my posts and what I came out of - not just the past 6 months, but my'll read this post a little differently I think. For my awesome friends and people who e mail me every day from all over the world - THANKS!!! I wrote tjhis for you so you can see that i am sooo much better than I was. You can relax and not worry about me :) My awesome friends in Sweden and New Zealand...thank you :)

Love you all...

Try it - start saying YES to all situations that come your way....otherwise you might be missing out on some really cool stuff and even cooler people and relationships!!!

The picture of the skydiver is Geoffrey Anderson - the love of my life (aside from my husband) who ended up changing my life forever. I lost Geoffrey to a skydiving plane crash so many years ago- that experience was the worst pain I have ever felt - and yet, his family (all deceased) are a daily presence in my life until I die....hmm..mind blowing . You never know what affect you will leave on another persons life, anyway - those who know me understand how deeply Geoffrey is with me. (the street I live on connects to Geoffrey Street which leads to the beach - his favorite spot.)

From CrossFit GreySkull...

This guy is my hero....crazy CrossFitter!!

Untitled from john sheaffer on Vimeo.