Saturday, April 18, 2009

If I asked you a would you answer it??

Are you a good person? Have you done selfless acts for another human? Maybe somebody you don't even know. When somebody was in need, did you extend your hand to help them out? Doesn't have to be with a financial assistance - what about an emotional assistance? Have you ever befriended the friendless? Let me ask you this....what do you think people will say about you at your funeral? What is the legacy you leave behind in this world, and is it one that you feel proud of, or cringe at the thought? Are you a good person even when you don't think people are watching you??

I am in a very good place in my life right now and am very happy. Content is the word I used in my last post.....but I often like to sit and reflect on myself as a person and take inventory - emotional inventory of my life and think about if I am living the way I want to be living? Money, things, status....all that fades - it really doesn't matter at all when you are laying on your death bed. My pastor once said that the thought you will have most in your last moments isn't- "man I wish I had bought that fast sportscar!" But more along the lines of, "I wish I had spent more time with my family."

We as humans have developed this ME FIRST mentality to our lives and we have become more depressed, unhappy people because of it! Depression, suicide, divorce, obesity all of those ailments have steadily increased through the years and we have gotten more and more selfish also. Selfish with our money, our stuff but mostly our TIME. What ever happened to reading books with your children at bedtime? Or visiting your grandmother and sharing a cup of coffee and a slice of some treat for an afternoon? Or what about the friend who is going through a hard time in her life and needs a friend? I will be the first to admit that I have been on a fast paced whirlwind and my time has become such a precious comodity that my relationships that matter the most to me have taken the back seat lately. It eats at my soul. Easter was an eye opening day for me. Why? Because I got to spend time with my family - children, father, grandmother, aunts and uncles - and I realized just how much their presence in my life matters! Slowing down and soaking up moments in time - isn't that what living an abundant life is all about? Every time I hang out with my grandmother I feel like somehow I leave a better person.....isn't that crazy?? By giving of myself to another I reap the benefits!! LOL....selfish outcome, with an very unselfish intent. My pastor used to say , "If you're having a bad day....walk out of your house, lock the door and go help somebody else." If we all did that think of how much we could change thew world!! Okay, think of how much we could change our private worlds.

I used to be a very giving, loving, kind hearted person. I have given of myself emotionally, physically and monetarily for friends, relatives, and strangers a lot. I've donated time to my church, food shelters, and went door to door in Beach Flats with groceries to feed the poor - I started a school supplies outreach for the beach flats community children to give each child there everything they need to have a great year at school. I've helped the elderly at convelesent hospitals by reading with them, playing games with them and just caring about them. When a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer I started juicing homeopathic remedies for her every day and would help her get out of bed everyday....the point I am making is I GAVE OF MYSELF UNSELFISHLY.

Then I made a mistake with a decision that changed my life situation and it changed my heart. It hardened me. It made me defensive, closed off to others, rude, hurtful, self seeking, and above all sad. I started to take the important things in life for granted. I was blinded and forgot who I was. The mistake has been corrected and I am on my way back to who I really am in my heart. I will never take for granted the people in my life that matter the most.....or the little things in life that give me such joy......that feed my soul. When I was at a low point in my life where I felt like opening my eyes another day seemed like such a hard concept I wrote a list.....a list of things I would miss if I never opened my eyes again. Here's a few items from that list...

-listening to Sarah laugh so hard that her head gets tossed back and and her entire body shakes.
-laying on my bed with my daughter watching comedians laughing so hard we cry and hearing her say,"mom...we have the same laugh."
-my sons sweet frekles that kiss the bridge of his nose and knowing that he got them from me.
-The sound of the rain pelting on the window in the middle of the night.
-Hearing my son say "You're the greatest mom in the world."
-running on a perfectly leaf lined trail in the crisp air in Nisene
-The day when Randy said "I forgive you."
-watching my amazing clients succeed and reach their goals
-smiling so hard your face aches
-smelling the ocean air at 4am on my doorstep
-crashing waves
-making a friends life easier
-being scared of something but doing it anyway....

By writing these things I changed. I had something to hold on to. Now my list is so much bigger! I have many things to be grateful for and I hope I inspire you to make your own list. Give the best gift you can - give of yourself! Let me remind you of the questions....

Are you a good person even when you think nobody is watching?? How do you want to be remembered??
I can answer those questions.....what about you??
Oh - do yourself a the movie "Seven Pounds" and open your heart and your mind to the message.....

Okay, Im done with my rant....

Remember - you can't play with peoples lives.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

I posted a comment to yesterday, but I don't think my Blogger was right. Anyway, hope you see this.

I appreciated your "rant." My son has been fighting osteosarcoma for two years. It has really changed me, not only as a person, but as a father and husband.

I really enjoy your posts. Thanks.