Tuesday, April 14, 2009
My Life is Incredible!!!
So many amazing great random things have happened for me in my life in the past 4 months that I don't know where to start. For the first time in my life I am content. I don't have anybody to rely on but myself for my happiness or for whatever pat on the back I may be seeking. Content....in all situations...I believe that I am there..or at least one foot in the door. I am Single for the first time in 19 years, and you know what - I am completely happy. It was difficult at first - Im not denying that at all. Especially with the circumstances that made me single and the betrayal that happened, and all that encompassed that part of my life. I was still wrapped up in "what could have been" up until the end of January. Then after Brendan showed me who he was for the last time I chose to believe him and recognize him for the selfish prick that he truly is - and detach from him and lock him out of my life for good. It was the best thing that could have happened for me. They say that everything happens for a reason, and I lived my life believing that - not always liking it - but believing it for the good things and the bad things..no matter how painful or confusing the situation. Brendan leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I have grown as a woman like I never would have had he stayed and continued to suck the life out of me. I have had amazing times with my children, my ex husband Randy and I have started to define a new relationship with each other. We even went to dinner a couple weeks ago, and that never would have happened had I not seen through his eyes the hurt that I caused him - was like what Brendan caused me. Karma is a bitch. I am surrounded by completely incredible people in my life and they all play a huge role in building my character as a human. I have started to say "yes" to things that come my way, instead of automatically saying "I dont have time" , and because of that I have met THE best people!!! Tod and Neon are just a couple people who randomly entered my life and opened all sorts of doors and opportunities for me. I took a chance - got on a plane to meet a man I didn't know, never met, and knew nothing about other than the emails we exchanged, and the pictures I saw. I wasn't scared once and I knew it was going to be an amazing experience and it was!! He is incredible!! Junker Designs...check it out!! Have you ever been around somebody that you just felt "I am in the presence of greatness..." well - that's him. He's filled with talent that I can't even fathom. I enjoy his friendship...and he's helping me start business #2....also trippy is his birthday is January 28, 1968 --- I am January 29, 1969...I ended up having so much fun In LA seeing a part of life that I never have - now he's coming to my town for a visit and Im going to show him CrossFit, my beach, talk business and just run around with our hair on fire...(well, my hair, his dreds) If I didn't allow myself the freedom to say Yes, I never would have met him. Neon is equally amazing and Ill write about her some other time....
I know I am rambling - but it's just that I am so filled with new things that have opened for me that I want to try and get it all down!!! I finally feel like I am ME again. Not trying to please a man who was critical and judgmental of me - unaccepting of my children and of my dreams.
My friends have all commented on how they feel like they are meeting Shari for the first time and I guess it sorta feels that way - shes been a little dormant, but Im back now - and there's nothing holding me back.
I started business #1 Meals Rx....I am a real company recognized by California - I am trademarked, and getting franchised. Tod will be making our company logo and I already have 5 states that want to start up a Meals Rx in their community. Its incredibly time consuming work - but it's mine. I created this. Nobody else. It's something that if we take care of it - it will take care of us and me and the children can develop the company to be as huge as we want... Watching Sarah and Brandon take pride in helping is priceless to me! Meals are selling out both in Santa Cruz and in Newport and Mealsrx.blogspot.com is linked off of several websites and in one day I got over 100 hits!! Better than all of that I get to work with one of my favorite men on the planet as a bonus!!
I am filled with gratitude. I have had so many sad, hard, pain filled days that I wondered when they would ever go away - and I wondered when I would be able to smile when I lay my head down at night instead of cry. Well - everything happens for a reason, and I had to go through all of that crap so that I could reach this place I stand in right now. I can look you in the eyes and say with all that I am - I am a strong woman! I will never give up! No situation or person can keep me down! I can dream big and I CAN do everything that I set my mind to...
That's my rant....if I sound puffed up or self righteous, Im sorry - but if you take the time to look back on my posts and what I came out of - not just the past 6 months, but my life.....you'll read this post a little differently I think. For my awesome friends and people who e mail me every day from all over the world - THANKS!!! I wrote tjhis for you so you can see that i am sooo much better than I was. You can relax and not worry about me :) My awesome friends in Sweden and New Zealand...thank you :)
Love you all...
Try it - start saying YES to all situations that come your way....otherwise you might be missing out on some really cool stuff and even cooler people and relationships!!!
The picture of the skydiver is Geoffrey Anderson - the love of my life (aside from my husband) who ended up changing my life forever. I lost Geoffrey to a skydiving plane crash so many years ago- that experience was the worst pain I have ever felt - and yet, his family (all deceased) are a daily presence in my life until I die....hmm..mind blowing . You never know what affect you will leave on another persons life, anyway - those who know me understand how deeply Geoffrey is with me. (the street I live on connects to Geoffrey Street which leads to the beach - his favorite spot.)