Today started to get difficult with this whole food restriction thing, that I started to do exactly what Karen said would happen - fantasize about Food Porn. I stood in front of the bakery display case in Whole Foods drooling over the cupcakes, cookies, chocolate dipped strawberries, delicious baked goods that looked like little perfectly wrapped presents. I imagined myself holding something tasty in my hands, how it felt as it touched my lips and tongue...the pleasure Id feel as it slid down my throat. People musta felt I was completely nuts! Watching this woman in lala land not saying a word, not ordering.....just staring. LOL! As soon as I felt full (in my mind), I left the bakery - walked over to the fish monger and ordered 1 pound of Halibut for dinner and 3 snacks tomorrow, loaded 2 sweet potatoes, a bunch of spinach, 2 bunches of asparagus , steel cut oats, and tons of water into my cart. I drove home and for a second I felt like I cheated on my diet! HOW SICK IS THAT!!?? Seriously, I have mad respect for these ladies who do this to themselves for months out of the year. They also scare me because of how much it tweeks with your self image. I consider myself to be a self disciplined woman, I have motivation, drive, and focus. When I want something - I get it. I was asked to compete in tis competition so I decided why not go for it 100% ?? Why do it half ass?? So, that being said, I am giving myself over to this diet even though I know its crazy. I figure I'll post about it so you all know what it feels like to be dieting like a fitness competitor before a show. I tell you - its absolutely crazy!
My daughter baked some brownies last night. As soon as I smelled the aroma in the house, I screamed at her. "What the hell are you doing??" I retired to my room around 7pm and there I stayed with a towel covering the opening under the door frame so I couldn't be tempted. I know its extreme - but I didn't give in :)
I understand that I am not fat, or need to loose any weight - trust me. But the goal here is to suck out all the extra in my muscles so that they show more. Its a little more scientific than that, but hey - without any extra fat in my diet I can't think too intelligently. :)
Here's my day in a nutshell:
weight at 4:00am 103#
Meal 1- 1/3 cup oats, 4 ounces chicken breast
Meal 2- 2.5 ounces sweet potato, 4 ounces turkey breast. Multi vitamin, vit c, vit b, omegas
**train CrossFit** 800 meter run, 30 sit ups, 40 double unders, 20 pushups x4 =32:58 (alt row w runs)
Meal 3- 1 cup asparagus, 4 ounces chicken breast
Meal 4- 4 ounces Halibut, more vitamins, Omegas
** Walk on treadmill at 12% grade, for 50 minutes....covered 3.5 miles**
Meal 5- 3 ounces chicken breast, 1 cup broccoli, 10 almonds
Meal 6- 3 ounces Halibut
Bed at 8:45 pm.......now you see why Im having food porn?? lol.....
Gary turned me on to this book "Dialogue With Death" by Eknath Easwaram....if you get a chance, read it. This line stood out to me today, and I was reminded of several individuals in my life who have PRANA. Some in abundance.
"Fire is a perfect symbol for Prana, the fire of life itself, because where prana is abundant, there IS fire - intense enthusiasm, vitality, drive, resoluteness, the capacity to see something through right to the end without being distracted from the goal. Those who have this kind of fire can achieve anything they choose."