Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hawaii 2008

Funny how life changes in just a blink of an eye. This photo was taken July 30th in Hawaii. I took Brendan and my children for a family vacation to visit Oahu. We stayed in a condo in downtown Waikiki and did so many fun adventures while we were there. I swear We were up at 7am and running around the entire island - never made it back to the condo before 6pm or so just to get ready and head back out. This picture was taken at Sunset Beach on the North Shore. I will NEVER forget that day. That day as Brendan and I lay beside eachother on the sand - watching the kids in the water and laughing....I wished what i was feeling would never end. I was so happy, content....completely in love with who was beside me and where we were. I said a silent prayer.."God this seems too good to be true....please dont let this feeling end." Well, within weeks of coming back my life was ripped out from under me. Brendan decided to move to Virginia in search of a new life. New job, new career, new everything - including a new woman by his side. I was completely devistated to say the least. I still am trying to understand something that cannot be understood. How a person who says he loves me can do a 180 in 5 days and completely change his life and walk away from me - our love and our committment I probably will never understand. For now I try to heal. I remember the good times. I cry over the bad times. I wish him back. I wish he'd stay away from me and out of my life forever. Then I wish him to come back to me the very next minute. Life is a crazy ride. Sometimes life is like a merry - g0- round and we keep repeating the same easy predictable situations. Other times its a rollercoaster....I am on that roller coaster and I want to get the hell off! That movie Parenthood says it all....

Anyway, I will post more. I appreciate all the letters, emails, posts, calls, and love I have gotten from so many people. I mean, even New Zealand! If anybody can offer me advice and how to move on, I will open my ears because I can say that I do not have the tools for that at this moment where I am standing. Betrayal hurts a lot of people.... I am a strong victorious woman though and I will get through this. I will be a better woman because I went through this and survived and grew. It's just the "now" that hurts......

9 comments:

Brian DeGennaro said...

Just going to throw this out there: you are one strong woman. Do not let this get to you [in a bad way]; use your strengths to overcome this. Obviously you know everyone has your back, so do not be afraid to lean on anyone. A strong person knows when to ask for help or for someone to listen to them.

Keep posting and stay strong! Long time lurker, first time poster.

Brian D

Bonnie said...

Another lurker--and first time poster.
Lots of good energy coming your way.

R said...

I have been folowing your blog for a while now and I figured now would be a good time to lend some support. You are obviously an amazing woman! Turn to your friends, family and fitness to get you through this trying time. He is going to kick himself in the ass down the line when he looks back on this silly stupid mistake. In the end I know you will be alright, because you are strong. Obviously stronger than he, because only a FOOL would leave a WOMAN for a silly little girl!

On another note, I WISH I lived in Cali so you could train me, I have watched your progress with V and I amazed! Maybe we can set it up to where you email me nutritional info (my big weakness) and I just do the pay pal thing :) Im sure you are a busy lady though, if not i understand!

Keep your head up!
God Bless!

Jess

Kim said...

Not a lurker....just a friend to remind you that there is only One thing that can get you through this and I think in the quietness of your heart you will find it. I am praying for you daily. xoxo

Shari Baby said...

Brian,

That is one of the major lessons I have learned thorugh this situation. That I DO have many friends that care about me. I DO have people to lean on. And I can ask for help....I always saw it as a sign of weakness I guess.....not anymore. If I didn't ask for help I think I would have ended up curled in a ball for longer than 2 days, which i did do....

Thanks again for your words :)

Shari Baby said...

Bonnie,

I happen to love lurkers : ) AND good energy - especially when it comes my way. Take care..thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it!

Shari Baby said...

Jess,

I'm humbled that you would ask for my help to reach your goals...and amazed that you read about my client V. Vivianne is an amazing woman who worked VERY hard for so long to get to where she wanted to be. I was nothing short of truly proud of all she accomplished while working out with me. I would LOVE to help you any way that I can. E mail me at sharibaby2@netzero.com

Take care
S

vigurbre said...

I don't think it's possible to "move on" after getting burned like this. I've been through something similar but nowhere near as bad. All I know is that it took a long, long time for the pain to fade away.

Talking about it helps and I'm glad you're going to post more.

theresa said...

Hey, Shari. I'm sorry to read about your troubles, which eventually will no longer seem like troubles, because God will see you through them. He has something else planned for you--open your heart to His will.

We met at the Golden, CO cert. in May of '07. Thanks for what you do for the community, stay positive, and don't allow yourself to be sucked into negative energy. You're far better than that!

God bless!