Friday, January 18, 2008
Life is a Lesson...
So I was reading my good fellow blogger Tracy's blog and she wrote the following to describe her frusterations with having to back off training for a while til she heals...It struck my heart in my life. I have been starting over - and I don't forget the beginning - I treasure where I came from. My years of drug abuse, abandonment, the death of my first love, growing up with my childrens father and the 13 years I spent with him....they all made me who I amtoday. I am learning to be a better person. I bring my pain and problems that I had in my marriage with me into my relationship with B if I don't correct them and change them. I have been working on this like crazy. I realize where I went wrong. You can't go back - only forward. Moving forward is healing. I can FEEL my life. I appreciate where I am going even though I don't really know where that is. I KNOW it's with Brendan....I'm excited to see where life leads us.
We have started this year off with an amazing talk and great communication. We made promises to eachother to have both feet in this relationship. To make this relationship and experience in life together the best we can. We are moving into a bigger new great amazing house in February. A fresh start. We even talked about religion and faith together. I have been wanting to go back to church....to refind God again. Thanks Tracy for your words. They touched me!!
"Everytime we start again we don't lose the experience of our first steps, we bring them with us. We don't forget our beginning, we learn from it. And our beginning gave us the base to define where we are currently and where we need to go. I just need to keep moving forward. And if moving forward means healing, then recovery is not moving backwards...it's readjusting the speed of the journey....of the experience."